letters to his son, 1748-第21部分

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　to　be　treated；　everyone　being　fully　convinced　that　he　has　wherewithal　to　pay。

Tell　stories　very　seldom；　and　absolutely　never　but　where　they　are　very　apt　and　very　short。　　Omit　every　circumstance　that　is　not　material；　and　beware　of　digressions。　　To　have　frequent　recourse　to　narrative　betrays　great　want　of　imagination。

Never　hold　anybody　by　the　button　or　the　hand；　in　order　to　be　heard　out；　for；　if　people　are　not　willing　to　hear　you；　you　had　much　better　hold　your　tongue　than　them。

Most　long　talkers　single　out　some　one　unfortunate　man　in　company　（commonly　him　whom　they　observe　to　be　the　most　silent；　or　their　next　neighbor）　to　whisper；　or　at　least　in　a　half　voice；　to　convey　a　continuity　of　words　to。　　This　is　excessively　ill…bred；　and　in　some　degree　a　fraud；　conversation…stock　being　a　joint　and　common　property。　　But；　on　the　other　hand；　if　one　of　these　unmerciful　talkers　lays　hold　of　you；　hear　him　with　patience　（and　at　least　seeming　attention）；　if　he　is　worth　obliging；　for　nothing　will　oblige　him　more　than　a　patient　hearing；　as　nothing　would　hurt　him　more　than　either　to　leave　him　in　the　midst　of　his　discourse；　or　to　discover　your　impatience　under　your　affliction。

Take；　rather　than　give；　the　tone　of　the　company　you　are　in。　　If　you　have　parts；　you　will　show　them；　more　or　less；　upon　every　subject；　and　if　you　have　not；　you　had　better　talk　sillily　upon　a　subject　of　other　people's　than　of　your　own　choosing。

Avoid　as　much　as　you　can；　in　mixed　companies；　argumentative；　polemical　conversations；　which；　though　they　should　not；　yet　certainly　do；　indispose　for　a　time　the　contending　parties　toward　each　other；　and；　if　the　controversy　grows　warm　and　noisy；　endeavor　to　put　an　end　to　it　by　some　genteel　levity　or　joke。　　I　quieted　such　a　conversation…hubbub　once；　by　representing　to　them　that；　though　I　was　persuaded　none　there　present　would　repeat；　out　of　company；　what　passed　in　it；　yet　I　could　not　answer　for　the　discretion　of　the　passengers　in　the　street；　who　must　necessarily　hear　all　that　was　said。

Above　all　things；　and　upon　all　occasions；　avoid　speaking　of　yourself；　if　it　be　possible。　　Such　is　the　natural　pride　and　vanity　of　our　hearts；　that　it　perpetually　breaks　out；　even　in　people　of　the　best　parts；　in　all　the　various　modes　and　figures　of　the　egotism。

Some；　abruptly；　speak　advantageously　of　themselves；　without　either　pretense　or　provocation。　　They　are　impudent。　　Others　proceed　more　artfully；　as　they　imagine；　and　forge　accusations　against　themselves；　complain　of　calumnies　which　they　never　heard；　in　order　to　justify　themselves；　by　exhibiting　a　catalogue　of　their　many　virtues。　　They　acknowledge　it　may；　indeed；　seem　odd　that　they　should　talk　in　that　manner　of　themselves；　it　is　what　they　do　not　like；　and　what　they　never　would　have　done；　no；　no　tortures　should　ever　have　forced　it　from　them；　if　they　had；　not　been　thus　unjustly　and　monstrously　accused。　　But；　in　these　cases；　justice　is　surely　due　to　one's　self；　as　well　as　to　others；　and　when　our　character　is　attacked；　we　may　say　in　our　own　justification；　what　otherwise　we　never　would　have　said。　　This　thin　veil　of　Modesty　drawn　before　Vanity；　is　much　too　transparent　to　conceal　it；　even　from　very　moderate　discernment。

Others　go　more　modestly　and　more　slyly　still　（as　they　think）　to　work；　but　in　my　mind　still　more　ridiculously。　　They　confess　themselves　（not　without　some　degree　of　shame　and　confusion）　into　all　the　Cardinal　Virtues；　by　first　degrading　them　into　weaknesses　and　then　owning　their　misfortune　in　being　made　up　of　those　weaknesses。　　They　cannot　see　people　suffer　without　sympathizing　with；　and　endeavoring　to　help　them。　　They　cannot　see　people　want；　without　relieving　them；　though　truly　their　own　circumstances　cannot　very　well　afford　it。　　They　cannot　help　speaking　truth；　though　they　know　all　the　imprudence　of　it。　　In　short；　they　know　that；　with　all　these　weaknesses；　they　are　not　fit　to　live　in　the　world；　much　less　to　thrive　in　it。　　But　they　are　now　too　old　to　change；　and　must　rub　on　as　well　as　they　can。　　This　sounds　too　ridiculous　and　'outre'；　almost；　for　the　stage；　and　yet；　take　my　word　for　it；　you　will　frequently　meet　with　it　upon　the　common　stage　of　the　world。　　And　here　I　will　observe；　by　the　bye；　that　you　will　often　meet　with　characters　in　nature　so　extravagant；　that　a　discreet　dramatist　would　not　venture　to　set　them　upon　the　stage　in　their　true　and　high　coloring。

This　principle　of　vanity　and　pride　is　so　strong　in　human　nature　that　it　descends　even　to　the　lowest　objects；　and　one　often　sees　people　angling　for　praise；　where；　admitting　all　they　say　to　be　true　（which；　by　the　way；　it　seldom　is）；　no　just　praise　is　to　be　caught。　　One　man　affirms　that　he　has　rode　post　an　hundred　miles　in　six　hours；　probably　it　is　a　lie：　but　supposing　it　to　be　true；　what　then？　　Why　he　is　a　very　good　post…boy；　that　is　all。　　Another　asserts；　and　probably　not　without　oaths；　that　he　has　drunk　six　or　eight　bottles　of　wine　at　a　sitting；　out　of　charity；　I　will　believe　him　a　liar；　for；　if　I　do　not；　I　must　think　him　a　beast。

Such；　and　a　thousand　more；　are　the　follies　and　extravagances；　which　vanity　draws　people　into；　and　which　always　defeat　their　own　purpose；　and　as　Waller　says；　upon　another　subject；

　　　　　　　　　　〃Make　the　wretch　the　most　despised；　　　　　　　　　　　Where　most　he　wishes　to　be　prized。〃

The　only　sure　way　of　avoiding　these　evils；　is　never　to　speak　of　yourself　at　all。　　But　when；　historically；　you　are　obliged　to　mention　yourself；　take　care　not　to　drop　one　single　word　that　can　directly　or　indirectly　be　construed　as　fishing　for　applause。　　Be　your　character　what　it　will；　it　will　be　known；　and　nobody　will　take　it　upon　your　own　word。　　Never　imagine　that　anything　you　can　say　yourself　will　varnish　your　defects；　or　add　lustre　to　your　perfections！　but；　on　the　contrary；　it　may；　and　nine　times　in　ten；　will；　make　the　former　more　glaring　and　the　latter　obscure。　　If　you　are　silent　upon　your　own　subject；　neither　envy；　indignation；　nor　ridicule；　will　obstruct　or　allay　the　applause　which　you　may　really　deserve；　but　if　you　publish　your　own　panegyric　upon　any　occasion；　or　in　any　shape　whatsoever；　and　however　artfully　dressed　or　disguised；　they　will　all　conspire　against　you；　and　you　will　be　disappointed　of　the　very　end　you　aim　at。

Take　care　never　to　seem　dark　and　mysterious；　which　is　not　only　a　very　unamiable　character；　but　a　very　suspicious　one　too；　if　you　seem　mysterious　with　others；　they　will　be　really　so　with　you；　and　you　will　know　nothing。　　The　height　of　abilities　is　to　have　'volto　sciolto'　and　'pensieri　stretti'；　that　is；　a　frank；　open；　and　ingenuous　exterior；　with　a　prudent　interior；　to　be　upon　your　own　guard；　and　yet；　by　a　seeming　natural　openness；　to　put　people　off　theirs。　　Depend　upon　it　nine　in　ten　of　every　company　you　are　in　will　avail　themselves　of　every　indiscreet　and　unguarded　expression　of　yours；　if　they　can　turn　it　to　their　own　advantage。　　A　prudent　reserve　is　therefore　as　necessary　as　a　seeming　openness　is　prudent。　　Always　look　people　in　the　face　when　you　speak　to　them：　the　not　doing　it　is　thought　to　imply　conscious　guilt；　besides　that　you　lose　the　advantage　of　serving　by　their　countenances　what　impression　your　discourse　makes　upon　them。　　In　order　to　know　people's　real　sentiments；　I　trust　much　more　to　my　eyes　than　to　my　ears：　for　they　can　say　whatever　they　have　a　mind　I　should　hear；　but　they　can　seldom　help　looking；　what　they　have　no　intention　that　I　should　know。

Neither　retail　nor　receive　scandal　willingly；　defamation　of　others　may　for　the　present　gratify　the　malignity　of　the　pride　of　our　hearts；　cool　reflection　will　draw　very　disadvantageous　conclusions　from　such　a　disposition；　and　in　the　case　of　scandal；　as　in　that　of　robbery；　the　receiver　is　always　thought；　as　bad　as　the　thief。

Mimicry；　which　is　the　common　and　favorite　amusement　of　little　low　minds；　is　in　the　utmost　contempt　with　great　ones。　　It　is　the　lowest　and　most　illiberal　of　all　buffoonery。　　Pray；　neither　practice　it　yourself；　nor　applaud　it　in　others。　　Besides　that　the　person　mimicked　is　insulted；　and；　as　I　have　often　observed　to　you　before；　an　insult　is　never　forgiven。

I　need　not　（I　believe）　advise　you　to　adapt　your　conversation　to　the　people　you　are　conversing　with：　for　I　suppose　you　would　not；　without　this　caution；　have　talked　upon　the　same　subject；　and　in　the　same　manner；　to　a　minister　of　state；　a　bishop；　a　philosopher；　a　captain；　and　a　woman。　A　man　of　the　world　must；　like　the　chameleon；　be　able　to　take　every　different　hue；　which　is　by　no　means　a　criminal　or　abject；　but　a　necessary　complaisance；　for　it　relates　only　to　manners　and　not　to　morals。

One　word　only　as　to　swearing；　and　that；　I　hope　and　believe；　is　more　than　is　necessary。　　You　may　sometimes　hear　some　people　in　good　company　interlard　their　discourse　with　oaths；　by　way　of　embellishment；　as　they　think；　but　you　must　observe；　too；　that　those　who　do　so　are　never　those　who　contribute；　in　any　degree；　to　give　that　company　the　denomination　of　good　company。　　They　are　always　subalterns；　or　people　of　low　education；　for　that　practice；　besides　that　it　has　no　one　temptation　to　plead；　is　as　silly　and　as　illiberal　as　it　is　wicked。

Loud　laughter　is　the　mirth　of　the　mob；　who　are　only　pleased　with　silly　things；　for　true　wit　or　good　sense　never　excited　a　laugh　since　the　creation　of　the　world。　　A