5 midnight sun午夜阳光-第43部分
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he car in front of her father s house。 She made no move to leave me。 Do you promise to be there tomorrow？ she insisted。 I promise。 How could doing the wrong thing give me so much happiness？ Surely there was
something amiss in that。 She nodded to herself； satisfied； and started to remove my jacket。 You can keep it； I assured her quickly。 I rather wanted to leave her with something of myself。 A token； like the bottle cap that was in my pocket now You don t have a jacket for tomorrow。 She handed it back to me； smiling ruefully。 I don t want to have to explain to Charlie； she told me。 I would imagine not。 I smiled at her。 Oh； right。 She put her hand on the door handle； and then stopped。 as I was unwilling for her to go。 To have her unprotected； even for a few moments Peter and Charlotte were well on their way by now； long past Seattle； no doubt。 But there were always others。 This world was not a safe place for any human； and for her it seemed to be more dangerous than it was for the rest。 Bella？ I asked； surprised at the pleasure there was in simply speaking her name。 Yes？ Will you promise me something？ Yes； she agreed easily； and then her eyes tightened as if she d thought of a reason to object。 Don t go into the woods alone； I warned her； wondering if this request would trigger the objection in her eyes。 She blinked； startled。 Why？ Unwilling to leave； just I glowered into the untrustworthy darkness。 The lack of light was no problem for my eyes； but neither would it trouble another hunter。 It only blinded humans。 I m not always the most dangerous thing out there； I told her。 at that。 Let s leave it She shivered； but recovered quickly and was even smiling when she told me； Whatever you say。 Her breath touched my face； so sweet and fragrant。 I could stay here all night like this； but she needed her sleep。 The two desires seemed equally strong as they continually warred inside me： wanting her versus wanting her to be safe。 I sighed at the impossibilities。 I ll see you tomorrow； I said； knowing that I would see her much sooner than that。 She wouldn t see me until tomorrow； though。 Tomorrow； then； she agreed as she opened her door。 Agony again； watching her leave。
I leaned after her； wanting to hold her here。 Bella？ She turned； and then froze； surprised to find our faces so close together。 I； too； was overwhelmed by the proximity。 The heat rolled off her in waves； caressing my face。 I could all but feel the silk of her skin Her heartbeat stuttered； and her lips fell open。 Sleep well； I whispered； and leaned away before the urgency in my body either the familiar thirst or the very new and strange hunger I suddenly felt could make me do something that might hurt her。 She sat there motionless for a moment； her eyes wide and stunned。 guessed。 As was I。 She recovered though her face was still a bit bemused and half fell out of the car； tripping over her feet and having to catch the frame of the car to right herself。 I chuckled hopefully it was too quiet for her to hear。 I watched her stumble her way up to the pool of light that surrounded the front door。 Safe for the moment。 And I would be back soon to make sure。 I could feel her eyes follow me as I drove down the dark street。 Such a different sensation than I was accustomed to。 Usually； I could simply watch myself through someone s following eyes； were I of a mind to。 This was strangely exciting this intangible sensation of watching eyes。 I knew it was just because they were her eyes。 A million thoughts chased each other through my head as I drove aimlessly into the night。 For a long time I circled through the streets； and the incredible release of having the truth dread that she would find out what I was。 She Even though this was obviously a bad thing for for me。 going nowhere； thinking of Bella known。 No longer did I have to knew。 It didn t matter to her。 her； it was amazingly liberating me the probably the the Dazzled； I More than that； I thought of Bella and requited love。 She couldn t love way I loved her such an overpowering； allconsuming； crushing love would break her fragile body。 But she felt strongly enough。 Enough to subdue instinctive fear。 Enough to want to be with me。 And being with her was greatest happiness I had ever known。 For a while as I was all alone and hurting no one else for a change I allowed myself to feel that happiness without dwelling on the tragedy。 Just to be happy that she cared for me。 Just to exult in the triumph of winning her affection。 Just to imagine day after day of sitting close to her； hearing her voice and earning her smiles。 I replayed that smile in my head； seeing her full lips pull up at the corners； the hint of a dimple that touched her pointed chin； the way her eyes warmed and melted Her fingers had felt so warm and soft on my hand tonight。 I imagined how it would feel to touch the delicate skin that stretched over her cheekbones silky； warm so fragile。 Silk over glass frighteningly breakable。 I didn t see where my thoughts were leading until it was too late。 As I dwelt on that devastating vulnerability； new images of her face intruded on my fantasies。 Lost in the shadows； pale with fear yet her jaw tight and determined； her eyes
fierce； full of concentration； her slim body braced to strike at the hulking forms that gathered around her； nightmares in the gloom Ah； I groaned as the simmering hate that I d all but forgotten in the joy of loving her burst again into an inferno of rage。 I was alone。 Bella was； I trusted； safe inside her home； for a moment I was fiercely glad that Charlie Swan head of the local law enforcement； trained and armed was her father。 That ought to mean something； provide some shelter for her。 She was safe。 No。 It would not take me so very long to avenge the insult I could not allow her to care for a murderer。 She deserved better。 But what about the others？ Bella was safe； yes。 Angela and Jessica were also； surely； safe in their beds。 Yet a monster was loose in the streets of Port Angeles。 A human monster did that make him the humans problem？ To mit the murder I ached to mit was wrong。 I knew that。 But leaving him free to attack again could not be the right thing either。 The blond hostess from the restaurant。 The waitress I d never really looked at。 Both had irritated me in a trivial way； but that did not mean they deserved to be in danger。 Either one of them might be somebody s Bella。 That realization decided me。 I turned the car north； accelerating now that I had a purpose。 Whenever I had a problem that was beyond me something tangible like this I knew where I could go for help。 Alice was sitting on the porch； waiting for me。 I pulled to a stop in front of the house rather than going around to the garage。 Carlisle s in his study； Alice told me before I could ask。 Thank you； I said； tousling her hair as I passed。 Thank you for returning my call； she thought sarcastically。 Oh。 I paused by the door； pulling out my phone and flipping it open。 I didn t even check to see who it was。 I was busy。 Yeah； I know。 I m sorry； too。 were on your way。 It was close； I murmured。 Sorry； she repeated； ashamed of herself。 It was easy to be generous； knowing that Bella was fine。 Don t be。 I know you can t catch everything。 No one expects you to be omniscient； Alice。 Thanks。 I almost asked you out to dinner tonight did you catch that before I changed my Sorry。 By the time I saw what was going to happen； you
mind？ She grinned。 No； I missed that one； too。 Wish I d known。 I would have e。 What were you concentrating on； that you missed so much？ Jasper s thinking about our anniversary。 She laughed。 He s trying not to make a decision on my gift； but I think I have a pretty good idea You re shameless。 Yep。 She pursed her lips； and stared up at me； a hint of accusation in her expression。 I paid better attention later。 Are you going to tell them that she knows？ I sighed。 Yes。 Later。 Do me a favor and tell Rosalie when I m not around； okay？ I won t say anything。 I flinched。 Sure。 Bella took it pretty well。 Too well。 Alice grinned at me。 Don t underestimate Bella。 I tried to block the image I didn t want to see Bella and Alice； best of friends。 Impatient now； I sighed heavily。 I wanted to be through with the next part of the evening； I wanted it over with。 But I was a little worried to leave Forks Alice I began。 She saw what I was planning to ask。 She sort of needs She ll be fine tonight。 I m keeping a better watch now。 twentyfour hour supervision； doesn t she？ At least。 Anyway； you ll be with her soon enough。 I took a deep breath。 The words were beautiful to me。 Go on get this done so you can be where you want to be； she told me。 I nodded； and hurried up to Carlisle s room。 He was waiting for me； his eyes on the door rather than the thick book on his desk。 I heard Alice tell you where to find me； he said； and smiled。 It was a relief to be with him； to see the empathy and deep intelligence in his eyes。 Carlisle would know what to do。 I need help。
Anything； Edward； he promised。 Did Alice tell you what happened to Bella tonight？ Almost happened； he amended。 Yes； almost。 I ve got a dilemma； Carlisle。 You see； I want very much to kill him。 The words started to flow fast and passionate。 So much。 But I know that would be wrong； because it would be ve
