5 midnight sun午夜阳光-第40部分
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car must be unfortable for her。 She huddled in my jacket； a small smile on her lips。 I waited； postponing conversation until the lights of the boardwalk faded。 It made me feel more alone with her。 Was that the right thing？ Now that I was focused only on her； the car seemed very small。 Her scent swirled through it with the current of the heater； building and strengthening。 It grew into its own force； like another entity in the car。 A presence that demanded recognition。 It had that； I burned。 The burning was acceptable； though。 It seemed strangely appropriate to me。 I had been given so much tonight more than I d expected。 And here she was； still willingly at my side。 I owed something in return for that。 A sacrifice。 A burnt offering。 Now if I could just keep it to that； just burn； and nothing more。 But the venom filled my mouth； and my muscles tensed in anticipation； as if I were hunting I had to keep such thoughts from my mind。 And I knew what would distract me。 Now； I said to her； fear of her response taking the edge off the burn。 It s your turn。
9。 Theory Can I ask just one more？ she entreated instead of answering my demand。 I was on edge； anxious for the worst。 And yet； how tempting it was to prolong this moment。 To have Bella with me； willingly； for just a few seconds longer。 sighed at the dilemma； and then said； One。 Well ； she hesitated for a moment； as if deciding which question to voice。 You said you knew I hadn t gone into the bookstore； and that I had gone south。 was just wondering how you know that。 I glared out the windshield。 Here was another question that revealed nothing on her part； and too much on mine。 I thought we were past all the evasiveness； she said； her tone critical and disappointed。 How ironic。 She was relentlessly evasive； without even trying。 And this conversation wasn t going anywhere I I Well； she wanted me to be direct。 good； regardless。 Fine； then； I said。 I followed your scent。 I wanted to watch her face； but I was afraid of what I would see。 Instead； I listened to her breath accelerate and then stabilize。 She spoke again after a moment； and her voice was steadier than I would have expected。 And then you didn t answer one of my first questions she said。 I looked down at her； frowning。 Which one？ She was stalling； too。
How does it work the mind reading thing？ she asked； reiterating her question from the restaurant。 Can you read anybody s mind； anywhere？ How do you do it？ Can the rest of your family ？ She trailed off； flushing again。 That s more than one； I said。 She just looked at me； waiting for her answers。 And why not tell her？ She d already guessed most of this； and it was an easier subject that the one that loomed。 No； it s just me。 And I can t hear anyone； anywhere。 I have to be fairly close。 The more familiar someone s voice is； the farther away I can hear them。 But still； no more than a few miles。 I tried to think of a way to describe it so that she would understand。 An analogy that she could relate to。 It s a little like being in a huge hall filled with people； everyone talking at once。 It s just a hum a buzzing of voices in the background。 Until I focus on one voice； and then what they re thinking is clear。 Most of the time I tune it all out it can be very distracting。 And then it s easier to seem normal； I grimaced when I m not accidentally answering someone s thoughts rather than their words。 Why do you think you can t hear me？ she wondered。 I gave her another truth and another analogy。 I don t know； I admitted。 The only guess I have is that maybe your mind doesn t work the same way the rest of theirs do。 Like your thoughts are on the AM frequency and I m only getting FM。 I realized that she would not like this analogy。 had me smiling。 She didn t disappoint。 The anticipation of her reaction I m a My mind doesn t work right？ she asked； her voice rising with chagrin。 freak？ Ah； the irony again。 I hear voices in my mind and you re worried that you re the freak。 I laughed。 She understood all the small things； and yet the big ones she got backwards。 Always the wrong instincts Bella was gnawing on her lip； and the crease between her eyes was etched deep。 Don t worry； I reassured her。 It s just a theory And there was a more important theory to be discussed。 I was anxious to get it over with。 Each passing second was beginning to feel more and more like borrowed time。 Which brings us back to you； I said； divided in two； both anxious and reluctant。 She sighed； still chewing her lip I worried that she would hurt herself。 She stared into my eyes； her face troubled。 Aren t we past all the evasions now？ I asked quietly。 She looked down； struggling with some internal dilemma。 Suddenly； she stiffened and her eyes flew wide open。 Fear flashed across her face for the first time。 Holy crow！ she gasped。
I panicked。 What had she seen？ How had I frightened her？ Then she shouted； Slow down！ What s wrong？ I didn t understand where her terror was ing from。 You re going a hundred miles an hour！ she yelled at me。 She flashed a look out the window； and recoiled from the dark trees racing past us。 This little thing； just a bit of speed； had her shouting in fear？ I rolled my eyes。 Relax； Bella。 Are you trying to kill us？ she demanded； her voice high and tight。 We re not going to crash； I promised her。 She sucked in a sharp breath； and then spoke in a slightly more level tone。 are you in such a hurry？ I always drive like this。 I met her gaze； amused by her shocked expression。 Keep your eyes on the road！ she shouted。 I ve never been in an accident； Bella。 I ve never even gotten a ticket。 I grinned at her and touched my forehead。 It made it even more ical the absurdity of being able to joke with her about something so secret and strange。 Built in radar detector。 Very funny； she said sarcastically； her voice more frightened than angry。 Charlie s a cop； remember？ I was raised to abide by traffic laws。 Besides； if you turn us into a Volvo pretzel around a tree trunk； you can probably just walk away。 Probably； I repeated； and than laughed without humor。 Yes； we would fare quite differently in a car accident。 She was right to be afraid； despite my driving abilities But you can t。 With a sigh； I let the car drift to a crawl。 She eyed the speedometer。 Almost。 I hate driving slow； I muttered； but let the Happy？ Why Was this still too fast for her？ needle slide another notch down。 This is slow？ she asked。 Enough mentary on my driving； I said impatiently。 How many times had she dodged my question now？ Three times？ Four？ Were her speculations that horrific？ I had to know immediately。 I m still waiting for your latest theory。 She bit her lip again； and her expression became upset； almost pained。 I reigned in my impatience and softened my voice。 I didn t want her to be
distressed。 I won t laugh； I promised； wishing that it was only embarrassment that made her unwilling to talk。 I m more afraid that you ll be angry with me； she whispered。 I forced my voice to stay even。 Pretty much； yeah。 She looked down； refusing to meet my eyes。 Go ahead； I encouraged。 Her voice was small。 I don t know how to start。 I remembered her words before dinner。 The seconds passed。 Is it that bad？ Why don t you start at the beginning？ You said you didn t e up with this on your own。 No； she agreed； and then was silent again。 I thought about things that might have inspired her。 book？ A movie？ What got you started a I should have looked through her collections when she was out of the house。 I had no idea if Bram Stoker or Anne Rice was there in her stack of worn paperbacks No； she said again。 It was Saturday； at the beach。 I hadn t expected that。 The local gossip about us had never strayed into anything too bizarre or too precise。 Was there a new rumor I d missed？ Bella peeked up from her hands and saw the surprise on my face。 I ran into an old family friend Jacob Black； she went on。 have been friends since I was a baby。 His dad and Charlie Jacob Black the name was not familiar； and yet it reminded me of something some time； long ago I stared out of the windshield； flipping through memories to find the connection。 His dad is one of the Quileute elders； she said。 Jacob Black。 Ephraim Black。 A descendant； no doubt。 It was as bad as it could get。 She knew the truth。 My mind was flying through the ramifications as the car flew around the dark curves in the road； my body rigid with anguish motionless except for the small； automatic actions it took to steer the car。 She knew the truth。 But if she d learned the truth Saturday then she d known it all evening long and yet
We went for a walk； she went on。 And he was telling me about some old legends trying to scare me； I think。 He told me one She stopped short； but there was no need for her qualms now； I knew what she was going to say。 The only mystery left was why she was here with me now。 Go on； I said。 About vampires； she breathed； the words less than a whisper。 Somehow； it was even worse than knowing that she knew； hearing her speak the word aloud。 I flinched at the sound of it； and then controlled myself again。 And you immediately thought of me？ I asked。 No。 He mentioned your family。 How ironic that it would be Ephraim s own progeny that would violate the treaty he d vowed to uphold。 A grandson； or grea
