5 midnight sun午夜阳光-第24部分
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out of thin air； she clarified。 Bella； it s not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant。 wry； almost a joke。 Was there anything she didn t see？ Did she hear how my voice wrapped around her name like a caress？ She glared at me； not appreciating my humor。 fear？ After a moment； she looked down。 The words were Her heartbeat sped from anger？ From Why the traffic jam last night？ she asked without meeting my eyes。 I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don t exist； not irritating me to death。 Still very angry。 It was going to take some effort to make things right with her。 I remembered my resolve to be truthful with her That was for Tyler s sake； not mine。 I had to give him his chance。 laughed。 I couldn t help it； thinking of her expression yesterday。 And then I You she gasped； and then broke off； appearing to be too furious to finish。 There it was that same expression。 enough already。 I choked back another laugh。 She was mad And I m not pretending you don t exist； I finished。 It was right to keep this casual； teasing。 She would not understand if I let her see how I really felt。 I would frighten her。 I had to keep my feelings in check； keep things light So you are trying to irritate me to death？ A quick flash of anger pulsed through me。 Since Tyler s van didn t do the job？ Could she honestly believe that？ It was irrational for me to be so affronted she didn t know of the transformation that had happened in the night。 But I was angry all the same。
Bella； you are utterly absurd； I snapped。 Her face flushed； and she turned her back on me。 Remorse。 I had no right to my anger。 She began to walk away。 Wait； I pleaded。 She did not stop； so I followed after her。 I m sorry； that was rude。 I m not saying it isn t true it was absurd to imagine that I wanted her harmed in any way but it was rude to say it； anyway。 Why won t you leave me alone？ Believe me； I wanted to say。 I ve tried。 Oh； and also； I m wretchedly in love with you。 Keep it light。 I wanted to ask you something； but you sidetracked me。 just occurred to me； and I laughed。 Do you have a multiple personality disorder？ she asked。 It must seem that way。 me。 My mood was erratic； so many new emotions coursing through A course of action had You re doing it again； I pointed out。 She sighed。 Fine then。 What do you want to ask？ I was wondering if； a week from Saturday I watched the shock cross her face； and choked back another laugh。 You know； the day of the spring dance She cut me off； finally returning her eyes to mine。 Yes。 Will you let me finish？ Are you trying to be funny？ She waited in silence； her teeth pressing into her soft lower lip。 That sight distracted me for a second。 Strange； unfamiliar reactions stirred deep in my forgotten human core。 I tried to shake them off so I could play my role。 I heard you say that you were going to Seattle that day； and I was wondering if you wanted a ride？ I offered。 I d realized that； better than just questioning her about her plans； I might share them。 She stared at me blankly。 What？ Do you want a ride to Seattle？ Alone in a car with her my throat burned at the thought。 I took a deep breath。 Get used to it。 With who？ she asked； her eyes wide and bewildered again。
Myself； obviously； I said slowly。 Why？ Was it really such as shock that I would want her pany？ the worst possible meaning to my past behavior。 She must have applied Well； I said as casually as possible； I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks； and； to be honest； I m not sure if your truck can make it。 It seemed safer to tease her than to allow myself to be serious。 My truck works just fine； thank you very much for your concern； she said in the same surprised voice。 She started walking again。 I kept pace with her。 She hadn t really said no； so I pressed that advantage。 Would she say no？ What would I do if she did？ But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas？ I don t see how that is any of your business； she grumbled。 That still wasn t a no。 more quickly。 And her heart was beating faster again； her breath ing The wasting of finite resources is everyone s business。 Honestly； Edward； I can t keep up with you。 friend。 I thought you didn t want to be my A thrill shot through me when she spoke my name。 How to keep it light and yet be honest at the same time？ important to be honest。 Especially on this point。 Well； it was more I said it would be better if we weren t friends； not that I didn t want to be。 Oh； thanks； now that s all cleared up； she said sarcastically。 She paused； under the edge of the cafeteria s roof； and met my gaze again。 heartbeats stuttered。 Was she afraid？ Her I chose my words carefully。 No； I could not leave her； but maybe she would be smart enough to leave me； before it was too late。 It would be more prudent for you not to be my friend。 Staring into the melted chocolate depths of her eyes； I lost my hold on light。 But I m tired of trying to stay away from you； Bella。 The words burned with much too much fervor。 Her breathing stopped and； in the second it took for it to restart； that worried me。 How much had I scared her？ Well； I would find out。 Will you go to Seattle with me？ I demanded； point blank。 She nodded； her heart drumming loudly。
Yes。 She d said yes to me。 What would this cost her？ And then my conscious smote me。 You really should stay away from me； I warned her。 Did she hear me？ Would she escape the future I was threatening her with？ Couldn t I do anything to save her from me？ Keep it light； I shouted at myself。 I ll see you in class。 I had to concentrate to stop myself from running as I fled。 6。 Blood Type I followed her all day through other people s eyes； barely aware of my own surroundings。 Not Mike Newton s eyes； because I couldn t stand any more of his offensive fantasies； and not Jessica Stanley s； because her resentment toward Bella made me angry in a way that was not safe for the petty girl。 Angela Weber was a good choice when her eyes were available； she was kind her head was an easy place to be。 And then sometimes it was the teachers who provided the best view。 I was surprised； watching her stumble through the day tripping over cracks in the sidewalk； stray books； and； most often； her own feet that the people I eavesdropped on thought of Bella as clumsy。 I considered that。 It was true that she often had trouble staying upright。 I remembered her stumbling into the desk that first day； sliding around on the ice before the accident； falling over the low lip of the doorframe yesterday How odd； they were right。 She was clumsy。 I didn t know why this was so funny to me； but I laughed out loud as I walked from
American History to English and several people shot me wary looks。 How had I never noticed this before？ Perhaps because there was something very graceful about her in stillness； the way she held her head； the arch of her neck There was nothing graceful about her now。 Mr。 Varner watched as she caught the toe of her boot on the carpet and literally fell into her chair。 I laughed again。 The time moved with incredible sluggishness while I waited for my chance to see her with my own eyes。 Finally； the bell rang。 I strode quickly to the cafeteria to secure my spot。 I was one of the first there。 I chose a table that was usually empty； and was sure to remain that way with me seated here。 When my family entered and saw me sitting alone in a new place； they were not surprised。 Alice must have warned them。 Rosalie stalked past me without a glance。 Idiot。 Rosalie and I had never had an easy relationship I d offended her the very first time she d heard me speak； and it was downhill from there but it seemed like she was even more illtempered than usual the last few days。 I sighed。 Rosalie made everything about herself。 Jasper gave me half a smile as he walked by。 Good luck； he thought doubtfully。 Emmett rolled his eyes and shook his head。 Lost his mind； poor kid。 Alice was beaming； her teeth shining too brightly。 Can I talk to Bella now？？ Keep out of it； I said under my breath。 Her face fell； and then brightened again。 Fine。 Be stubborn。 It s only a matter of time。 I sighed again。 Don t forget about today s biology lab； she reminded me。 I nodded。 No； I hadn t forgotten that。 Bella to arrive； I followed her in the eyes of the freshman who Jessica on his way to the cafeteria。 Jessica was babbling dance； but Bella said nothing in response。 Not that Jessica chance。 While I waited for was walking behind about the uping gave her much of a The moment Bella walked through the door； her eyes flashed to the table where my siblings sat。 She stared for a moment； and then her forehead crumpled and her eyes dropped to the floor。 She hadn t noticed me here。
She looked so sad。 I felt a powerful urge to get up and go to her side； to fort her somehow； only I didn t know what she would find forting。 I had no idea what made her look that way。 Jessica continued to jabber about the dance。 Was Bella sad that she was going to miss it？ That didn t seem likely But that could be remedied； if she wished。 She bought a drink for her lunch and nothing else。 Was that right？ Didn t she need more nutrition than that？ I d never paid much attention to a human s diet before。 Humans were quite exasperatingly fragile！ There were a million different things to worry ab
