madame bovary-第64部分

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She　had　tried　everything；　there　was　nothing　more　to　be　done　now；
and　when　Charles　came　in　she　would　have　to　say　to　him

〃Go　away！　This　carpet　on　which　you　are　walking　is　no　longer　ours。
In　your　own　house　you　do　not　possess　a　chair；　a　pin；　a　straw；　and
it　is　I；　poor　man；　who　have　ruined　you。〃

Then　there　would　be　a　great　sob；　next　he　would　weep　abundantly；
and　at　last；　the　surprise　past；　he　would　forgive　her。

〃Yes；〃　she　murmured；　grinding　her　teeth；　〃he　will　forgive　me；　he
who　would　give　a　million　if　I　would　forgive　him　for　having　known
me！　Never！　never！〃

This　thought　of　Bovary's　superiority　to　her　exasperated　her。
Then；　whether　she　confessed　or　did　not　confess；　presently；
immediately；　to…morrow；　he　would　know　the　catastrophe　all　the
same；　so　she　must　wait　for　this　horrible　scene；　and　bear　the
weight　of　his　magnanimity。　The　desire　to　return　to　Lheureux's
seized　herwhat　would　be　the　use？　To　write　to　her　fatherit　was
too　late；　and　perhaps；　she　began　to　repent　now　that　she　had　not
yielded　to　that　other；　when　she　heard　the　trot　of　a　horse　in　the
alley。　It　was　he；　he　was　opening　the　gate；　he　was　whiter　than　the
plaster　wall。　Rushing　to　the　stairs；　she　ran　out　quickly　to　the
square；　and　the　wife　of　the　mayor；　who　was　talking　to
Lestiboudois　in　front　of　the　church；　saw　her　go　in　to　the
tax…collector's。

She　hurried　off　to　tell　Madame　Caron；　and　the　two　ladies　went　up
to　the　attic；　and；　hidden　by　some　linen　spread　across　props；
stationed　themselves　comfortably　for　overlooking　the　whole　of
Binet's　room。

He　was　alone　in　his　garret；　busy　imitating　in　wood　one　of　those
indescribable　bits　of　ivory；　composed　of　crescents；　of　spheres
hollowed　out　one　within　the　other；　the　whole　as　straight　as　an
obelisk；　and　of　no　use　whatever；　and　he　was　beginning　on　the　last
piecehe　was　nearing　his　goal。　In　the　twilight　of　the　workshop
the　white　dust　was　flying　from　his　tools　like　a　shower　of　sparks
under　the　hoofs　of　a　galloping　horse；　the　two　wheels　were
turning；　droning；　Binet　smiled；　his　chin　lowered；　his　nostrils
distended；　and；　in　a　word；　seemed　lost　in　one　of　those　complete
happinesses　that；　no　doubt；　belong　only　to　commonplace
occupations；　which　amuse　the　mind　with　facile　difficulties；　and
satisfy　by　a　realisation　of　that　beyond　which　such　minds　have　not
a　dream。

〃Ah！　there　she　is！〃　exclaimed　Madame　Tuvache。

But　it　was　impossible　because　of　the　lathe　to　hear　what　she　was
saying。

At　last　these　ladies　thought　they　made　out　the　word　〃francs；〃　and
Madame　Tuvache　whispered　in　a　low　voice

〃She　is　begging　him　to　give　her　time　for　paying　her　taxes。〃

〃Apparently！〃　replied　the　other。

They　saw　her　walking　up　and　down；　examining　the　napkin…rings；　the
candlesticks；　the　banister　rails　against　the　walls；　while　Binet
stroked　his　beard　with　satisfaction。

〃Do　you　think　she　wants　to　order　something　of　him？〃　said　Madame
Tuvache。

〃Why；　he　doesn't　sell　anything；〃　objected　her　neighbour。

The　tax…collector　seemed　to　be　listening　with　wide…open　eyes；　as
if　he　did　not　understand。　She　went　on　in　a　tender；　suppliant
manner。　She　came　nearer　to　him；　her　breast　heaving；　they　no
longer　spoke。

〃Is　she　making　him　advances？〃　said　Madame　Tuvache。　Binet　was
scarlet　to　his　very　ears。　She　took　hold　of　his　hands。

〃Oh；　it's　too　much！〃

And　no　doubt　she　was　suggesting　something　abominable　to　him；　for
the　tax…collectoryet　he　was　brave；　had　fought　at　Bautzen　and　at
Lutzen；　had　been　through　the　French　campaign；　and　had　even　been
recommended　for　the　crosssuddenly；　as　at　the　sight　of　a
serpent；　recoiled　as　far　as　he　could　from　her；　crying

〃Madame！　what　do　you　mean？〃

〃Women　like　that　ought　to　be　whipped；〃　said　Madame　Tuvache。

〃But　where　is　she？〃　continued　Madame　Caron；　for　she　had
disappeared　whilst　they　spoke；　then　catching　sight　of　her　going
up　the　Grande　Rue；　and　turning　to　the　right　as　if　making　for　the
cemetery；　they　were　lost　in　conjectures。

〃Nurse　Rollet；〃　she　said　on　reaching　the　nurse's；　〃I　am　choking；
unlace　me！〃　She　fell　on　the　bed　sobbing。　Nurse　Rollet　covered　her
with　a　petticoat　and　remained　standing　by　her　side。　Then；　as　she
did　not　answer；　the　good　woman　withdrew；　took　her　wheel　and　began
spinning　flax。

〃Oh；　leave　off！〃　she　murmured；　fancying　she　heard　Binet's　lathe。

〃What's　bothering　her？〃　said　the　nurse　to　herself。　〃Why　has　she
come　here？〃

She　had　rushed　thither；　impelled　by　a　kind　of　horror　that　drove
her　from　her　home。

Lying　on　her　back；　motionless；　and　with　staring　eyes；　she　saw
things　but　vaguely；　although　she　tried　to　with　idiotic
persistence。　She　looked　at　the　scales　on　the　walls；　two　brands
smoking　end　to　end；　and　a　long　spider　crawling　over　her　head　in　a
rent　in　the　beam。　At　last　she　began　to　collect　her　thoughts。　She
rememberedone　dayLeonOh！　how　long　ago　that　wasthe　sun　was
shining　on　the　river；　and　the　clematis　were　perfuming　the　air。
Then；　carried　away　as　by　a　rushing　torrent；　she　soon　began　to
recall　the　day　before。

〃What　time　is　it？〃　she　asked。

Mere　Rollet　went　out；　raised　the　fingers　of　her　right　hand　to
that　side　of　the　sky　that　was　brightest；　and　came　back　slowly；
saying

〃Nearly　three。〃

〃Ahl　thanks；　thanks！〃

For　he　would　come；　he　would　have　found　some　money。　But　he　would；
perhaps；　go　down　yonder；　not　guessing　she　was　here；　and　she　told
the　nurse　to　run　to　her　house　to　fetch　him。

〃Be　quick！〃

〃But；　my　dear　lady；　I'm　going；　I'm　going！〃

She　wondered　now　that　she　had　not　thought　of　him　from　the　first。
Yesterday　he　had　given　his　word；　he　would　not　break　it。　And　she
already　saw　herself　at　Lheureux's　spreading　out　her　three
bank…notes　on　his　bureau。　Then　she　would　have　to　invent　some
story　to　explain　matters　to　Bovary。　What　should　it　be？

The　nurse；　however；　was　a　long　while　gone。　But；　as　there　was　no
clock　in　the　cot；　Emma　feared　she　was　perhaps　exaggerating　the
length　of　time。　She　began　walking　round　the　garden；　step　by　step；
she　went　into　the　path　by　the　hedge；　and　returned　quickly；　hoping
that　the　woman　would　have　come　back　by　another　road。　At　last；
weary　of　waiting；　assailed　by　fears　that　she　thrust　from　her；　no
longer　conscious　whether　she　had　been　here　a　century　or　a　moment；
she　sat　down　in　a　corner；　closed　her　eyes；　and　stopped　her　ears。
The　gate　grated；　she　sprang　up。　Before　she　had　spoken　Mere　Rollet
said　to　her

〃There　is　no　one　at　your　house！〃

〃What？〃

〃Oh；　no　one！　And　the　doctor　is　crying。　He　is　calling　for　you；
they're　looking　for　you。〃

Emma　answered　nothing。　She　gasped　as　she　turned　her　eyes　about
her；　while　the　peasant　woman；　frightened　at　her　face；　drew　back
instinctively；　thinking　her　mad。　Suddenly　she　struck　her　brow　and
uttered　a　cry；　for　the　thought　of　Rodolphe；　like　a　flash　of
lightning　in　a　dark　night；　had　passed　into　her　soul。　He　was　so
good；　so　delicate；　so　generous！　And　besides；　should　he　hesitate
to　do　her　this　service；　she　would　know　well　enough　how　to
constrain　him　to　it　by　re…waking；　in　a　single　moment；　their　lost
love。　So　she　set　out　towards　La　Huchette；　not　seeing　that　she　was
hastening　to　offer　herself　to　that　which　but　a　while　ago　had　so
angered　her；　not　in　the　least　conscious　of　her　prostitution。



Chapter　Eight

She　asked　herself　as　she　walked　along；　〃What　am　I　going　to　say？
How　shall　I　begin？〃　And　as　she　went　on　she　recognised　the
thickets；　the　trees；　the　sea…rushes　on　the　hill；　the　chateau
yonder。　All　the　sensations　of　her　first　tenderness　came　back　to
her；　and　her　poor　aching　heart　opened　out　amorously。　A　warm　wind
blew　in　her　face；　the　melting　snow　fell　drop　by　drop　from　the
buds　to　the　grass。

She　entered；　as　she　used　to；　through　the　small　park…gate。　She
reached　the　avenue　bordered　by　a　double　row　of　dense　lime…trees。
They　were　swaying　their　long　whispering　branches　to　and　fro。　The
dogs　in　their　kennels　all　barked；　and　the　noise　of　their　voices
resounded；　but　brought　out　no　one。

She　went　up　the　large　straight　staircase　with　wooden　balusters
that　led　to　the　corridor　paved　with　dusty　flags；　into　which
several　doors　in　a　row　opened；　as　in　a　monastery　or　an　inn。　His
was　at　the　top；　right　at　the　end；　on　the　left。　When　she　placed
her　fingers　on　the　lock　her　strength　suddenly　deserted　her。　She
was　afraid；　almost　wished　he　would　not　be　there；　though　this　was
her　only　hope；　her　last　chance　of　salvation。　She　collected　her
thoughts　for　one　moment；　and；　strengthening　herself　by　the
feeling　of　present　necessity；　went　in。

He　was　in　front　of　the　fire；　both　his　feet　on　the　mantelpiece；
smoking　a　pipe。

〃What！　it　is　you！〃　he　said；　getting　up　hurriedly。

〃Yes；　it　is　I；　Rodolphe。　I　should　like　to　ask　your　advice。〃

And；　despite　all　her　efforts；　it　was　impossible　for　her　to
open　her　lips。

〃You　have　not　changed；　you　are　charming　as　ever！〃

〃Oh；〃　she　replied　bitterly；　〃they　are　poor　charms　since　you
disdained　them。〃

Then　he　began　a　long　explanation　of　his　conduct；　excusing　himself
in　vague　terms；　in　default　of　being　able　to　invent　better。

She　yielded　to　his　words；　still　more　to　his　voice　and　the　sight
of　him；　so　that；　she　pretended　to　believe；　or　perhaps　believed；
in　the　pretext　he　gave　for　their　rupture；　this　was　a　secret　on
which　depended　the　honour；　the　very　life　of　a　third　person。

〃No　matter！〃　she　said