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a face illumined-第97部分

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but you are now taking counsel of passion and turning your back

on duty。  While almost insane from self…reproach and wounded pride

you are taking steps that may blast your own life and the lives

of others。  To my mind there is an infinite distance between the

error you naturally fell into in view of Miss Burton's loveliness

of character and any base intent; but even if I should share in

your harsh judgementwhich I never canI would still say that you

cannot help the past; and you are now bound by all that's sacred to

ask only what is right; and to do that at every cost to yourself。

You are pledged to Miss Burton; and you must make good your pledge。〃



〃What!  I go to that snow…white maiden with a lie on my lips!〃 he

exclaimed indignantly。



〃No! go to her with truth on your lips and in your heart; except

as in unselfish loyalty to her and to your word you may hide some

truth that would give her pain。  Mr。 Van Berg; you word is pledged。

You have won her love and this is your only honorable course。  Thus

far you have not done her intentional wrong; but if you rush away

from duty now in cowardly flight you will do her a bitter and fatal

wrong; for she loves you as only few women can love。  She has grown

wan and pale in your absence; and it touched me to the heart to see

her yesterday; though she made such brave efforts to be cheerful

and to encourage father。  O God; forgive me that IGo to her when

you have become calmyour true self。  Love like hers will take

what you can give till you can give more; and surely one so lovely

will soon win all。  If ever I have seen human idolatry in any face

it has been in hers; and she will soon banish all this wild passion

from your mind。  But be that as it may you must keep your word if

you would keep my respect; and I would not lose my respect for you

for the world。  I know you too well to doubt but that you will take

up this sacred duty and seek to perform it with the whole strength

of your manhood。〃



Never for a moment had Van Berg removed his eyes from Ida's face;

and her words and manner seemed both to awe and control him。  As

she spoke; his expression became quiet and strong; and when she

concluded he came to her side and said earnestly:



〃Miss Mayhew; since it is still possible; I will keep your respect;

for it is absolutely essential to me。  God has indeed given you a

woman's soul; and he NEVER MADE A NOBLER WOMAN。  You are a friend

in truth and not in name; and you have saved me from madly destroying

my own future; and perhaps the future of others; which is of far

more consequence。  If I fail in obeying both the letter and spirit

of your words it will be because I cannot help myself。〃



Her face; which had been so sweet and luminous with her generous

impulse and noble thoughts; was growing very pale now; but she

rose and gave him her hand; saying with a faint smile that was like

the fading light of evening; 〃I knew you would not disappoint me;

I was sure you were worthy of my trust。  Let the honest right be

our motto henceforth; and all will be well some day。  Good…by。〃



He pressed her hand in both of his as he said fervently; 〃God bless

you; Ida Mayhew!〃  Then he turned and hastened away; flying from

his own weakness and a womanly loveliness which at the moment far

excelled any ideal he had ever formed。



He had scarcely reached the road before he remembered that he had

left his sketch…book; and he went back for it; but as he turned

the corner of the shady path he stopped instantly。  The strong;

clear…eyed maiden who had rallied the forces of his shattered

manhood; and given him the vantage…ground again in life's battle;

had bowed her head on the arm of the rustic seat and was sobbing

convulsively。  Indeed; her grief was so uncontrollable and passionate

that in his very soul he trembled before it。



〃Oh; Jennie Burton;〃 she moaned; 〃it would have been easier for

me to die for you than to give him up。  God help himGod help me

through the dreadful years to come!〃



His first impulse was to spring to her side; but he hesitated;

and then with a gesture and look of infinite regret he turned and

stole silently away。











Chapter LIII。  A Night's Vigil。









As Van Berg left Mr。 Eltinge's grounds he had the aspect of a man

who had seen a vision。  He had seen more; for the human face expressive

of absolute; even though brief; mastery over evil is a nobler object

than can be the serene visage of a sinless and untempted angel。



At last he understood Ida Mayhew。  If he had deeply honored her when

he supposed that as a sincere; honest friend only she had spoken

her strong; true words; which might save him from wrecking his life

from impulses of shame and wounded pride; how instantaneously was

this honor changed into reverence and wonder as he recognized her

self…sacrifice at the dictates of conscience。  All was now perfectly

clear。  The truth of her love had flashed out from the dark cloud

of her passionate grief; and in its white radiance all the baffling

mystery of her past action was dissipated instantly。  Now he knew

why the brilliant music at the concert garden could not brighten

her face; and the end of the symphony saw her in tears。  Now he

understood why she could not be Jennie Burton's friend; even though

capable of becoming a martyr for her sake from a sense of duty。  The

despairing farewell letter she had once written to him now became

fraught with a deeper meaning; and he saw that in throwing away

the imperfect rose…bud; and in looking at her as a creature akin

to Sibley; he had inflicted mortal wounds on a heart that gave him

only love in return。  In her desperate effort to conceal an unsought

love she had sought the nearest covert; and the stains Sibley had

left upon her were no more hers than if he had been a blackened

wall。  After all her woman's soul had come to her as in the old

and simple times when even water nymphs had hearts; and love was

still the mightiest force in the universe。



His feeling now was far too deep for his former half…frenzied

excitement。  There was not a trace of exultation in his manner;

and there was indeed no ground for rapture。  Only the knowledge

that he carried away her respect; and that he was going to the

performance of what he believed a sacred duty; kept him from despair。



He did not blame himself as bitterly as might have been supposed

that he had not discovered her secret earlier; and it increased

his admiration for her; if that were possible; that she had so

carefully maintained her maidenly reserve。  A conceited man; or

at least a man whose soul was infested with the meanest kind of

conceitthat of imagining that the woman who gives him a friendly

word or smile is disposed to throw herself into his armswould no

doubt have surmised her secret before; but although Van Berg was

intensely proud; as we have seen; and had been rendered self…complacent

and self…confident by the circumstances of his lot; he had none of

this contemptible vanity。  The discovery of Ida's love caused him

far greater surprise than when he recognized his own; and it was a

source of deep satisfaction to him that this modern and conventional

Undine had received a nature of such true and womanly delicacy that

it had led her to conceal her love like the trailing…arbutus that

hides its fragrant blossoms under fallen leaves。



The light had been so clear that he even saw the temptation which

he unconsciously had suggested to her while in the city。  Unlike

the little violet that weakly bowed its head and died because the

brook would not stop; she had resolutely set about the task of

making him stop; and yet never let him suspect that she was even

looking at him。  Hence her attempt to penetrate the wilderness of

knowledge which was at once so pathetic and comical; hence also

her wish to learn the authors and subjects which interested him。



〃And she had every reason to believe that she might have won me

from the one honorable allegiance I can give;〃 he exclaimed; in

deep humiliation; 〃and probably she would have done so eventually

had she not acted liek a saint rather than a woman。  I've lost

faith utterly in Harold Van Berg; and it will require a great many

years to regain it。〃



When he reached a dense tract of woodland through which the road

ran; he concealed himself and waited till she should pass。  Two

hours elapsed before she did so。  The passionate grief that had

overwhelmed her was no slight and passing gust。  He saw that she

leaned back weakly and languidly in the phaeton; and had hidden her

face by a vail of double thickness。  He followed her at a distance

far too great for recognition until she entered the hotel; and

then sought to obtain a little rest and food at the nearest village

inn; for he found now that his fierce paroxysm of rage and mental

torment was over; he had become very faint and exhausted。  After

he

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