winesburg,ohio-第14部分

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e　into　the　orchard　at　night　and　make　a　noise　under　my　window。　　It　will　be　easy　for　me　to　crawl　down　over　the　shed　and　come　to　you。　　I　am　thinking　about　it　all　the　time；　so　if　you　are　to　come　at　all　you　must　come　soon。〃

For　a　long　time　Louise　did　not　know　what　would　be　the　outcome　of　her　bold　attempt　to　secure　for　herself　a　lover。　　In　a　way　she　still　did　not　know　whether　or　not　she　wanted　him　to　come。　　Sometimes　it　seemed　to　her　that　to　be　held　tightly　and　kissed　was　the　whole　secret　of　life；　and　then　a　new　impulse　came　and　she　was　terribly　afraid。　　The　age…old　wom…　an's　desire　to　be　possessed　had　taken　possession　of　her；　but　so　vague　was　her　notion　of　life　that　it　seemed　to　her　just　the　touch　of　John　Hardy's　hand　upon　her　own　hand　would　satisfy。　　She　wondered　if　he　would　understand　that。　　At　the　table　next　day　while　Albert　Hardy　talked　and　the　two　girls　whis…　pered　and　laughed；　she　did　not　look　at　John　but　at　the　table　and　as　soon　as　possible　escaped。　　In　the　evening　she　went　out　of　the　house　until　she　was　sure　he　had　taken　the　wood　to　her　room　and　gone　away。　　When　after　several　evenings　of　intense　lis…　tening　she　heard　no　call　from　the　darkness　in　the　orchard；　she　was　half　beside　herself　with　grief　and　decided　that　for　her　there　was　no　way　to　break　through　the　wall　that　had　shut　her　off　from　the　joy　of　life。

And　then　on　a　Monday　evening　two　or　three　weeks　after　the　writing　of　the　note；　John　Hardy　came　for　her。　　Louise　had　so　entirely　given　up　the　thought　of　his　coming　that　for　a　long　time　she　did　not　hear　the　call　that　came　up　from　the　orchard。　　On　the　Friday　evening　before；　as　she　was　being　driven　back　to　the　farm　for　the　week…end　by　one　of　the　hired　men；　she　had　on　an　impulse　done　a　thing　that　had　startled　her；　and　as　John　Hardy　stood　in　the　darkness　below　and　called　her　name　softly　and　insis…　tently；　she　walked　about　in　her　room　and　wondered　what　new　impulse　had　led　her　to　commit　so　ridicu…　lous　an　act。

The　farm　hand；　a　young　fellow　with　black　curly　hair；　had　come　for　her　somewhat　late　on　that　Friday　evening　and　they　drove　home　in　the　darkness。　　Lou…　ise；　whose　mind　was　filled　with　thoughts　of　John　Hardy；　tried　to　make　talk　but　the　country　boy　was　embarrassed　and　would　say　nothing。　　Her　mind　began　to　review　the　loneliness　of　her　childhood　and　she　remembered　with　a　pang　the　sharp　new　loneli…　ness　that　had　just　come　to　her。　　〃I　hate　everyone；〃　she　cried　suddenly；　and　then　broke　forth　into　a　ti…　rade　that　frightened　her　escort。　　〃I　hate　father　and　the　old　man　Hardy；　too；〃　she　declared　vehemently。　〃I　get　my　lessons　there　in　the　school　in　town　but　I　hate　that　also。〃

Louise　frightened　the　farm　hand　still　more　by　turning　and　putting　her　cheek　down　upon　his　shoul…　der。　　Vaguely　she　hoped　that　he　like　that　young　man　who　had　stood　in　the　darkness　with　Mary　would　put　his　arms　about　her　and　kiss　her；　but　the　country　boy　was　only　alarmed。　　He　struck　the　horse　with　the　whip　and　began　to　whistle。　　〃The　road　is　rough；　eh？〃　he　said　loudly。　　Louise　was　so　angry　that　reaching　up　she　snatched　his　hat　from　his　head　and　threw　it　into　the　road。　　When　he　jumped　out　of　the　buggy　and　went　to　get　it；　she　drove　off　and　left　him　to　walk　the　rest　of　the　way　back　to　the　farm。

Louise　Bentley　took　John　Hardy　to　be　her　lover。　That　was　not　what　she　wanted　but　it　was　so　the　young　man　had　interpreted　her　approach　to　him；　and　so　anxious　was　she　to　achieve　something　else　that　she　made　no　resistance。　　When　after　a　few　months　they　were　both　afraid　that　she　was　about　to　become　a　mother；　they　went　one　evening　to　the　county　seat　and　were　married。　　For　a　few　months　they　lived　in　the　Hardy　house　and　then　took　a　house　of　their　own。　　All　during　the　first　year　Louise　tried　to　make　her　husband　understand　the　vague　and　in…　tangible　hunger　that　had　led　to　the　writing　of　the　note　and　that　was　still　unsatisfied。　　Again　and　again　she　crept　into　his　arms　and　tried　to　talk　of　it；　but　always　without　success。　　Filled　with　his　own　notions　of　love　between　men　and　women；　he　did　not　listen　but　began　to　kiss　her　upon　the　lips。　　That　confused　her　so　that　in　the　end　she　did　not　want　to　be　kissed。　She　did　not　know　what　she　wanted。

When　the　alarm　that　had　tricked　them　into　mar…　riage　proved　to　be　groundless；　she　was　angry　and　said　bitter；　hurtful　things。　　Later　when　her　son　David　was　born；　she　could　not　nurse　him　and　did　not　know　whether　she　wanted　him　or　not。　　Sometimes　she　stayed　in　the　room　with　him　all　day；　walking　about　and　occasionally　creeping　close　to　touch　him　tenderly　with　her　hands；　and　then　other　days　came　when　she　did　not　want　to　see　or　be　near　the　tiny　bit　of　humanity　that　had　come　into　the　house。　　When　John　Hardy　reproached　her　for　her　cruelty；　she　laughed。　　〃It　is　a　man　child　and　will　get　what　it　wants　anyway；〃　she　said　sharply。　　〃Had　it　been　a　woman　child　there　is　nothing　in　the　world　I　would　not　have　done　for　it。〃



IV

Terror

WHEN　DAVID　HARDY　was　a　tall　boy　of　fifteen；　he；　like　his　mother；　had　an　adventure　that　changed　the　whole　current　of　his　life　and　sent　him　out　of　his　quiet　corner　into　the　world。　　The　shell　of　the　circum…　stances　of　his　life　was　broken　and　he　was　compelled　to　start　forth。　　He　left　Winesburg　and　no　one　there　ever　saw　him　again。　　After　his　disappearance；　his　mother　and　grandfather　both　died　and　his　father　be…　came　very　rich。　　He　spent　much　money　in　trying　to　locate　his　son；　but　that　is　no　part　of　this　story。

It　was　in　the　late　fall　of　an　unusual　year　on　the　Bentley　farms。　　Everywhere　the　crops　had　been　heavy。　　That　spring；　Jesse　had　bought　part　of　a　long　strip　of　black　swamp　land　that　lay　in　the　valley　of　Wine　Creek。　　He　got　the　land　at　a　low　price　but　had　spent　a　large　sum　of　money　to　improve　it。　　Great　ditches　had　to　be　dug　and　thousands　of　tile　laid。　Neighboring　farmers　shook　their　heads　over　the　ex…　pense。　　Some　of　them　laughed　and　hoped　that　Jesse　would　lose　heavily　by　the　venture；　but　the　old　man　went　silently　on　with　the　work　and　said　nothing。

When　the　land　was　drained　he　planted　it　to　cab…　bages　and　onions；　and　again　the　neighbors　laughed。　The　crop　was；　however；　enormous　and　brought　high　prices。　　In　the　one　year　Jesse　made　enough　money　to　pay　for　all　the　cost　of　preparing　the　land　and　had　a　surplus　that　enabled　him　to　buy　two　more　farms。　He　was　exultant　and　could　not　conceal　his　delight。　For　the　first　time　in　all　the　history　of　his　ownership　of　the　farms；　he　went　among　his　men　with　a　smiling　face。

Jesse　bought　a　great　many　new　machines　for　cut…　ting　down　the　cost　of　labor　and　all　of　the　remaining　acres　in　the　strip　of　black　fertile　swamp　land。　　One　day　he　went　into　Winesburg　and　bought　a　bicycle　and　a　new　suit　of　clothes　for　David　and　he　gave　his　two　sisters　money　with　which　to　go　to　a　religious　convention　at　Cleveland；　Ohio。

In　the　fall　of　that　year　when　the　frost　came　and　the　trees　in　the　forests　along　Wine　Creek　were　golden　brown；　David　spent　every　moment　when　he　did　not　have　to　attend　school；　out　in　the　open。　Alone　or　with　other　boys　he　went　every　afternoon　into　the　woods　to　gather　nuts。　　The　other　boys　of　the　countryside；　most　of　them　sons　of　laborers　on　the　Bentley　farms；　had　guns　with　which　they　went　hunting　rabbits　and　squirrels；　but　David　did　not　go　with　them。　　He　made　himself　a　sling　with　rubber　bands　and　a　forked　stick　and　went　off　by　himself　to　gather　nuts。　　As　he　went　about　thoughts　came　to　him。　　He　realized　that　he　was　almost　a　man　and　won…　dered　what　he　would　do　in　life；　but　before　they　came　to　anything；　the　thoughts　passed　and　he　was　a　boy　again。　　One　day　he　killed　a　squirrel　that　sat　on　one　of　the　lower　branches　of　a　tree　and　chattered　at　him。　　Home　he　ran　with　the　squirrel　in　his　hand。　One　of　the　Bentley　sisters　cooked　the　little　animal　and　he　ate　it　with　great　gusto。　　The　skin　he　tacked　on　a　board　and　suspended　the　board　by　a　string　from　his　bedroom　window。

That　gave　his　mind　a　new　turn。　　After　that　he　never　went　into　the　woods　without　carrying　the　sling　in　his　pocket　and　he　spent　hours　shooting　at　imaginary　animals　concealed　among　the　brown　leaves　in　the　trees。　　Thoughts　of　his　coming　manhood　passed　and　he　was　content　to　be　a　boy　with　a　boy's　impulses。

One　Saturday　morning　when　he　was　about　to　set　off　for　the　woods　with　the　sling　in　his　pocket　and　a　bag　for　nuts　on　his　shoulder；　his　grandfather　stopped　him。　　In　the　eyes　of　the　old　man　was　the　strained　serious　look　that　always　a　little　frightened　David。　　At　such　times　Jesse　Bentley's　eyes　did　not　look　straight　ahead　but　wavered　and　seemed　to　be　looking　at　nothing。　　Something　like　an　invisible　curtain　ap…　peared　to　have　come　between　the　man　and　all　the　rest　of　the　world。　　〃I　want　you　to　come　with　me；〃　he　said　briefly；　and　his　eyes　looked　over　the　boy's　head　into　the　sky。　　〃We　have　something　important　to　do　today。　　You　may　bring　the　bag　for　nuts　if　you　wish。　　It　does　not　matter　and　anyway　we　will　be　going　into　the　woods。〃

Jesse　and　David　set　out　from　the　Bentley　farm…　house　in　the　old　phaeton　that　was　drawn　by　the　white　horse。　　When　they　had　gone　along　in　silence　for　a　long　way　they　stopped　at　the　edge　of　a　field　where　a　flock　of　sheep　were　grazing。　　Among　the　sheep　was　a　lamb　that　had　been　born　out　of　season；　and　this　David　and　his　grandfather　caught　and　tied　so　tightly　that　it　looked　like　a　little　white　ball。　　When　they　drove　on　again　Jess