winesburg,ohio-第13部分

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onely　she　worked　constantly　at　her　studies。　　To　Mary　and　Harriet；　it　seemed　as　though　she　tried　to　make　trouble　for　them　by　her　proficiency。　　In　her　eagerness　to　appear　well　Louise　wanted　to　answer　every　question　put　to　the　class　by　the　teacher。　　She　jumped　up　and　down　and　her　eyes　flashed。　　Then　when　she　had　answered　some　ques…　tion　the　others　in　the　class　had　been　unable　to　an…　swer；　she　smiled　happily。　　〃See；　I　have　done　it　for　you；〃　her　eyes　seemed　to　say。　　〃You　need　not　bother　about　the　matter。　　I　will　answer　all　questions。　　For　the　whole　class　it　will　be　easy　while　I　am　here。〃

In　the　evening　after　supper　in　the　Hardy　house；　Albert　Hardy　began　to　praise　Louise。　　One　of　the　teachers　had　spoken　highly　of　her　and　he　was　de…　lighted。　　〃Well；　again　I　have　heard　of　it；〃　he　began；　looking　hard　at　his　daughters　and　then　turning　to　smile　at　Louise。　　〃Another　of　the　teachers　has　told　me　of　the　good　work　Louise　is　doing。　　Everyone　in　Winesburg　is　telling　me　how　smart　she　is。　　I　am　ashamed　that　they　do　not　speak　so　of　my　own　girls。〃　Arising；　the　merchant　marched　about　the　room　and　lighted　his　evening　cigar。

The　two　girls　looked　at　each　other　and　shook　their　heads　wearily。　　Seeing　their　indifference　the　father　became　angry。　　〃I　tell　you　it　is　something　for　you　two　to　be　thinking　about；〃　he　cried；　glaring　at　them。　〃There　is　a　big　change　coming　here　in　America　and　in　learning　is　the　only　hope　of　the　coming　genera…　tions。　　Louise　is　the　daughter　of　a　rich　man　but　she　is　not　ashamed　to　study。　　It　should　make　you　ashamed　to　see　what　she　does。〃

The　merchant　took　his　hat　from　a　rack　by　the　door　and　prepared　to　depart　for　the　evening。　　At　the　door　he　stopped　and　glared　back。　　So　fierce　was　his　man…　ner　that　Louise　was　frightened　and　ran　upstairs　to　her　own　room。　　The　daughters　began　to　speak　of　their　own　affairs。　　〃Pay　attention　to　me；〃　roared　the　merchant。　　〃Your　minds　are　lazy。　　Your　indifference　to　education　is　affecting　your　characters。　　You　will　amount　to　nothing。　　Now　mark　what　I　sayLouise　will　be　so　far　ahead　of　you　that　you　will　never　catch　up。〃

The　distracted　man　went　out　of　the　house　and　into　the　street　shaking　with　wrath。　　He　went　along　muttering　words　and　swearing；　but　when　he　got　into　Main　Street　his　anger　passed。　　He　stopped　to　talk　of　the　weather　or　the　crops　with　some　other　merchant　or　with　a　farmer　who　had　come　into　town　and　forgot　his　daughters　altogether　or；　if　he　thought　of　them；　only　shrugged　his　shoulders。　　〃Oh；　well；　girls　will　be　girls；〃　he　muttered　philosophically。

In　the　house　when　Louise　came　down　into　the　room　where　the　two　girls　sat；　they　would　have　noth…　ing　to　do　with　her。　　One　evening　after　she　had　been　there　for　more　than　six　weeks　and　was　heartbroken　because　of　the　continued　air　of　coldness　with　which　she　was　always　greeted；　she　burst　into　tears。　　〃Shut　up　your　crying　and　go　back　to　your　own　room　and　to　your　books；〃　Mary　Hardy　said　sharply。

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The　room　occupied　by　Louise　was　on　the　second　floor　of　the　Hardy　house；　and　her　window　looked　out　upon　an　orchard。　　There　was　a　stove　in　the　room　and　every　evening　young　John　Hardy　carried　up　an　armful　of　wood　and　put　it　in　a　box　that　stood　by　the　wall。　　During　the　second　month　after　she　came　to　the　house；　Louise　gave　up　all　hope　of　getting　on　a　friendly　footing　with　the　Hardy　girls　and　went　to　her　own　room　as　soon　as　the　evening　meal　was　at　an　end。

Her　mind　began　to　play　with　thoughts　of　making　friends　with　John　Hardy。　　When　he　came　into　the　room　with　the　wood　in　his　arms；　she　pretended　to　be　busy　with　her　studies　but　watched　him　eagerly。　When　he　had　put　the　wood　in　the　box　and　turned　to　go　out；　she　put　down　her　head　and　blushed。　　She　tried　to　make　talk　but　could　say　nothing；　and　after　he　had　gone　she　was　angry　at　herself　for　her　stupidity。

The　mind　of　the　country　girl　became　filled　with　the　idea　of　drawing　close　to　the　young　man。　　She　thought　that　in　him　might　be　found　the　quality　she　had　all　her　life　been　seeking　in　people。　　It　seemed　to　her　that　between　herself　and　all　the　other　people　in　the　world；　a　wall　had　been　built　up　and　that　she　was　living　just　on　the　edge　of　some　warm　inner　circle　of　life　that　must　be　quite　open　and　under…　standable　to　others。　　She　became　obsessed　with　the　thought　that　it　wanted　but　a　courageous　act　on　her　part　to　make　all　of　her　association　with　people　some…　thing　quite　different；　and　that　it　was　possible　by　such　an　act　to　pass　into　a　new　life　as　one　opens　a　door　and　goes　into　a　room。　　Day　and　night　she　thought　of　the　matter；　but　although　the　thing　she　wanted　so　earnestly　was　something　very　warm　and　close　it　had　as　yet　no　conscious　connection　with　sex。　　It　had　not　become　that　definite；　and　her　mind　had　only　alighted　upon　the　person　of　John　Hardy　because　he　was　at　hand　and　unlike　his　sisters　had　not　been　un…　friendly　to　her。

The　Hardy　sisters；　Mary　and　Harriet；　were　both　older　than　Louise。　　In　a　certain　kind　of　knowledge　of　the　world　they　were　years　older。　　They　lived　as　all　of　the　young　women　of　Middle　Western　towns　lived。　　In　those　days　young　women　did　not　go　out　of　our　towns　to　Eastern　colleges　and　ideas　in　regard　to　social　classes　had　hardly　begun　to　exist。　　A　daugh…　ter　of　a　laborer　was　in　much　the　same　social　position　as　a　daughter　of　a　farmer　or　a　merchant；　and　there　were　no　leisure　classes。　　A　girl　was　〃nice〃　or　she　was　〃not　nice。〃　If　a　nice　girl；　she　had　a　young　man　who　came　to　her　house　to　see　her　on　Sunday　and　on　Wednesday　evenings。　　Sometimes　she　went　with　her　young　man　to　a　dance　or　a　church　social。　　At　other　times　she　received　him　at　the　house　and　was　given　the　use　of　the　parlor　for　that　purpose。　　No　one　in…　truded　upon　her。　　For　hours　the　two　sat　behind　closed　doors。　　Sometimes　the　lights　were　turned　low　and　the　young　man　and　woman　embraced。　　Cheeks　became　hot　and　hair　disarranged。　　After　a　year　or　two；　if　the　impulse　within　them　became　strong　and　insistent　enough；　they　married。

One　evening　during　her　first　winter　in　Winesburg；　Louise　had　an　adventure　that　gave　a　new　impulse　to　her　desire　to　break　down　the　wall　that　she　thought　stood　between　her　and　John　Hardy。　　It　was　Wednesday　and　immediately　after　the　evening　meal　Albert　Hardy　put　on　his　hat　and　went　away。　　Young　John　brought　the　wood　and　put　it　in　the　box　in　Louise's　room。　　〃You　do　work　hard；　don't　you？〃　he　said　awkwardly；　and　then　before　she　could　answer　he　also　went　away。

Louise　heard　him　go　out　of　the　house　and　had　a　mad　desire　to　run　after　him。　　Opening　her　window　she　leaned　out　and　called　softly；　〃John；　dear　John；　come　back；　don't　go　away。〃　The　night　was　cloudy　and　she　could　not　see　far　into　the　darkness；　but　as　she　waited　she　fancied　she　could　hear　a　soft　little　noise　as　of　someone　going　on　tiptoes　through　the　trees　in　the　orchard。　　She　was　frightened　and　closed　the　window　quickly。　　For　an　hour　she　moved　about　the　room　trembling　with　excitement　and　when　she　could　not　longer　bear　the　waiting；　she　crept　into　the　hall　and　down　the　stairs　into　a　closet…like　room　that　opened　off　the　parlor。

Louise　had　decided　that　she　would　perform　the　courageous　act　that　had　for　weeks　been　in　her　mind。　She　was　convinced　that　John　Hardy　had　concealed　himself　in　the　orchard　beneath　her　window　and　she　was　determined　to　find　him　and　tell　him　that　she　wanted　him　to　come　close　to　her；　to　hold　her　in　his　arms；　to　tell　her　of　his　thoughts　and　dreams　and　to　listen　while　she　told　him　her　thoughts　and　dreams。　〃In　the　darkness　it　will　be　easier　to　say　things；〃　she　whispered　to　herself；　as　she　stood　in　the　little　room　groping　for　the　door。

And　then　suddenly　Louise　realized　that　she　was　not　alone　in　the　house。　　In　the　parlor　on　the　other　side　of　the　door　a　man's　voice　spoke　softly　and　the　door　opened。　　Louise　just　had　time　to　conceal　herself　in　a　little　opening　beneath　the　stairway　when　Mary　Hardy；　accompanied　by　her　young　man；　came　into　the　little　dark　room。

For　an　hour　Louise　sat　on　the　floor　in　the　darkness　and　listened。　　Without　words　Mary　Hardy；　with　the　aid　of　the　man　who　had　come　to　spend　the　evening　with　her；　brought　to　the　country　girl　a　knowledge　of　men　and　women。　　Putting　her　head　down　until　she　was　curled　into　a　little　ball　she　lay　perfectly　still。　It　seemed　to　her　that　by　some　strange　impulse　of　the　gods；　a　great　gift　had　been　brought　to　Mary　Hardy　and　she　could　not　understand　the　older　wom…　an's　determined　protest。

The　young　man　took　Mary　Hardy　into　his　arms　and　kissed　her。　　When　she　struggled　and　laughed；　he　but　held　her　the　more　tightly。　　For　an　hour　the　contest　between　them　went　on　and　then　they　went　back　into　the　parlor　and　Louise　escaped　up　the　stairs。　　〃I　hope　you　were　quiet　out　there。　　You　must　not　disturb　the　little　mouse　at　her　studies；〃　she　heard　Harriet　saying　to　her　sister　as　she　stood　by　her　own　door　in　the　hallway　above。

Louise　wrote　a　note　to　John　Hardy　and　late　that　night；　when　all　in　the　house　were　asleep；　she　crept　downstairs　and　slipped　it　under　his　door。　　She　was　afraid　that　if　she　did　not　do　the　thing　at　once　her　courage　would　fail。　　In　the　note　she　tried　to　be　quite　definite　about　what　she　wanted。　　〃I　want　someone　to　love　me　and　I　want　to　love　someone；〃　she　wrote。　〃If　you　are　the　one　for　me　I　want　you　to　come　into　the　orchard　at　night　and　make　a　noise　under　my　window。　　It　will　be　easy　for　me　to　crawl　down