half a life-time ago-第3部分

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must　needs　cry　out　like　a　stuck　pig　if　one　touches　him；〃　replied

Michael；　sullenly。



Susan　went　back　to　the　window…seat；　and　looked　absently　out　of　the

window　at　the　drifting　clouds　for　a　minute　or　two；　while　her　eyes

filled　with　tears。　　Then　she　got　up　and　made　for　the　outer　door　which

led　into　the　back…kitchen。　　Before　she　reached　it；　however；　she　heard

a　low　voice；　whose　music　made　her　thrill；　say　…



〃Susan；　Susan！〃



Her　heart　melted　within　her；　but　it　seemed　like　treachery　to　her　poor

boy；　like　faithlessness　to　her　dead　mother；　to　turn　to　her　lover

while　the　tears　which　he　had　caused　to　flow　were　yet　unwiped　on

Will's　cheeks。　　So　she　seemed　to　take　no　heed；　but　passed　into　the

darkness；　and；　guided　by　the　sobs；　she　found　her　way　to　where　Willie

sat　crouched　among　the　disused　tubs　and　churns。



〃Come　out　wi'　me；　lad；〃　and　they　went　out　into　the　orchard；　where　the

fruit…trees　were　bare　of　leaves；　but　ghastly　in　their　tattered

covering　of　gray　moss：　　and　the　soughing　November　wind　came　with　long

sweeps　over　the　fells　till　it　rattled　among　the　crackling　boughs；

underneath　which　the　brother　and　sister　sat　in　the　dark；　he　in　her

lap；　and　she　hushing　his　head　against　her　shoulder。



〃Thou　should'st　na'　play　wi'　fire。　　It's　a　naughty　trick。　　Thoul't

suffer　for　it　in　worse　ways　nor　this　before　thou'st　done；　I'm

afeared。　　I　should　ha'　hit　thee　twice　as　lungeous　kicks　as　Mike；　if

I'd　been　in　his　place。　　He　did　na'　hurt　thee；　I　am　sure；〃　she

assumed；　half　as　a　question。



〃Yes　but　he　did。　　He　turned　me　quite　sick。〃　　And　he　let　his　head　fall

languidly　down　on　his　sister's　breast。



〃Come；　lad！　come；　lad！〃　said　she　anxiously。　　〃Be　a　man。　　It　was　not

much　that　I　saw。　　Why；　when　first　the　red　cow　came　she　kicked　me　far

harder　for　offering　to　milk　her　before　her　legs　were　tied。　　See　thee！

here's　a　peppermint…drop；　and　I'll　make　thee　a　pasty　to…night；　only

don't　give　way　so；　for　it　hurts　me　sore　to　think　that　Michael　has

done　thee　any　harm；　my　pretty。〃



Willie　roused　himself　up；　and　put　back　the　wet　and　ruffled　hair　from

his　heated　face；　and　he　and　Susan　rose　up；　and　hand…in…hand　went

towards　the　house；　walking　slowly　and　quietly　except　for　a　kind　of

sob　which　Willie　could　not　repress。　　Susan　took　him　to　the　pump　and

washed　his　tear…stained　face；　till　she　thought　she　had　obliterated

all　traces　of　the　recent　disturbance；　arranging　his　curls　for　him；

and　then　she　kissed　him　tenderly；　and　led　him　in；　hoping　to　find

Michael　in　the　kitchen；　and　make　all　straight　between　them。　　But　the

blaze　had　dropped　down　into　darkness；　the　wood　was　a　heap　of　gray

ashes　in　which　the　sparks　ran　hither　and　thither；　but　even　in　the

groping　darkness　Susan　knew　by　the　sinking　at　her　heart　that　Michael

was　not　there。　　She　threw　another　brand　on　the　hearth　and　lighted　the

candle；　and　sat　down　to　her　work　in　silence。　　Willie　cowered　on　his

stool　by　the　side　of　the　fire；　eyeing　his　sister　from　time　to　time；

and　sorry　and　oppressed；　he　knew　not　why；　by　the　sight　of　her　grave；

almost　stern　face。　　No　one　came。　　They　two　were　in　the　house　alone。

The　old　woman　who　helped　Susan　with　the　household　work　had　gone　out

for　the　night　to　some　friend's　dwelling。　　William　Dixon；　the　father；

was　up　on　the　fells　seeing　after　his　sheep。　　Susan　had　no　heart　to

prepare　the　evening　meal。



〃Susy；　darling；　are　you　angry　with　me？〃　said　Willie；　in　his　little

piping；　gentle　voice。　　He　had　stolen　up　to　his　sister's　side。　　〃I

won't　never　play　with　the　fire　again；　and　I'll　not　cry　if　Michael

does　kick　me。　　Only　don't　look　so　like　dead　motherdon'tdon't

please　don't！〃　he　exclaimed；　hiding　his　face　on　her　shoulder。



〃I'm　not　angry；　Willie；〃　said　she。　　〃Don't　be　feared　on　me。　　You　want

your　supper；　and　you　shall　have　it；　and　don't　you　be　feared　on

Michael。　　He　shall　give　reason　for　every　hair　of　your　head　that　he

toucheshe　shall。〃



When　William　Dixon　came　home　he　found　Susan　and　Willie　sitting

together；　hand…in…hand；　and　apparently　pretty　cheerful。　　He　bade　them

go　to　bed；　for　that　he　would　sit　up　for　Michael；　and　the　next

morning；　when　Susan　came　down；　she　found　that　Michael　had　started　an

hour　before　with　the　cart　for　lime。　　It　was　a　long　day's　work；　Susan

knew　it　would　be　late；　perhaps　later　than　on　the　preceding　night；

before　he　returnedat　any　rate；　past　her　usual　bed…time；　and　on　no

account　would　she　stop　up　a　minute　beyond　that　hour　in　the　kitchen；

whatever　she　might　do　in　her　bed…room。　　Here　she　sat　and　watched　till

past　midnight；　and　when　she　saw　him　coming　up　the　brow　with　the

carts；　she　knew　full　well；　even　in　that　faint　moonlight；　that　his

gait　was　the　gait　of　a　man　in　liquor。　　But　though　she　was　annoyed　and

mortified　to　find　in　what　way　he　had　chosen　to　forget　her；　the　fact

did　not　disgust　or　shock　her　as　it　would　have　done　many　a　girl；　even

at　that　day；　who　had　not　been　brought　up　as　Susan　had；　among　a　class

who　considered　it　no　crime；　but　rather　a　mark　of　spirit；　in　a　man　to

get　drunk　occasionally。　　Nevertheless；　she　chose　to　hold　herself　very

high　all　the　next　day　when　Michael　was；　perforce；　obliged　to　give　up

any　attempt　to　do　heavy　work；　and　hung　about　the　out…buildings　and

farm　in　a　very　disconsolate　and　sickly　state。　　Willie　had　far　more

pity　on　him　than　Susan。　　Before　evening；　Willie　and　he　were　fast；

and；　on　his　side；　ostentatious　friends。　　Willie　rode　the　horses　down

to　water；　Willie　helped　him　to　chop　wood。　　Susan　sat　gloomily　at　her

work；　hearing　an　indistinct　but　cheerful　conversation　going　on　in　the

shippon；　while　the　cows　were　being　milked。　　She　almost　felt　irritated

with　her　little　brother；　as　if　he　were　a　traitor；　and　had　gone　over

to　the　enemy　in　the　very　battle　that　she　was　fighting　in　his　cause。

She　was　alone　with　no　one　to　speak　to；　while　they　prattled　on

regardless　if　she　were　glad　or　sorry。



Soon　Willie　burst　in。　　〃Susan！　　Susan！　come　with　me；　I've　something

so　pretty　to　show　you。　　Round　the　corner　of　the　barnrun！　run！〃　　（He

was　dragging　her　along；　half　reluctant；　half　desirous　of　some　change

in　that　weary　day。　　Round　the　corner　of　the　barn；　and　caught　hold　of

by　Michael；　who　stood　there　awaiting　her。



〃O　Willie！〃　cried　she　〃you　naughty　boy。　　There　is　nothing　pretty

what　have　you　brought　me　here　for？　　Let　me　go；　I　won't　be　held。〃



〃Only　one　word。　　Nay；　if　you　wish　it　so　much；　you　may　go；〃　said

Michael；　suddenly　loosing　his　hold　as　she　struggled。　　But　now　she　was

free；　she　only　drew　off　a　step　or　two；　murmuring　something　about

Willie。



〃You　are　going；　then？〃　said　Michael；　with　seeming　sadness。　　〃You

won't　hear　me　say　a　word　of　what　is　in　my　heart。〃



〃How　can　I　tell　whether　it　is　what　I　should　like　to　hear？〃　replied

she；　still　drawing　back。



〃That　is　just　what　I　want　you　to　tell　me；　I　want　you　to　hear　it　and

then　to　tell　me　whether　you　like　it　or　not。〃



〃Well；　you　may　speak；〃　replied　she；　turning　her　back；　and　beginning

to　plait　the　hem　of　her　apron。



He　came　close　to　her　ear。



〃I'm　sorry　I　hurt　Willie　the　other　night。　　He　has　forgiven　me。　　Can

you？〃



〃You　hurt　him　very　badly；〃　she　replied。　　〃But　you　are　right　to　be

sorry。　　I　forgive　you。〃



〃Stop；　stop！〃　said　he；　laying　his　hand　upon　her　arm。　　〃There　is

something　more　I've　got　to　say。　　I　want　you　to　be　mywhat　is　it　they

call　it；　Susan？〃



〃I　don't　know；〃　said　she；　half…laughing；　but　trying　to　get　away　with

all　her　might　now；　and　she　was　a　strong　girl；　but　she　could　not

manage　it。



〃You　do。　　Mywhat　is　it　I　want　you　to　be？〃



〃I　tell　you　I　don't　know；　and　you　had　best　be　quiet；　and　just　let　me

go　in；　or　I　shall　think　you're　as　bad　now　as　you　were　last　night。〃



〃And　how　did　you　know　what　I　was　last　night？　　It　was　past　twelve　when

I　came　home。　　Were　you　watching？　　Ah；　Susan！　be　my　wife；　and　you

shall　never　have　to　watch　for　a　drunken　husband。　　If　I　were　your

husband；　I　would　come　straight　home；　and　count　every　minute　an　hour

till　I　saw　your　bonny　face。　　Now　you　know　what　I　want　you　to　be。　　I

ask　you　to　be　my　wife。　　Will　you；　my　own　dear　Susan？〃



She　did　not　speak　for　some　time。　　Then　she　only　said　〃Ask　father。〃

And　now　she　was　really　off　like　a　lapwing　round　the　corner　of　the

barn；　and　up　in　her　own　little　room；　crying　with　all　her　might；

before　the　triumphant　smile　had　left　Michael's　face　where　he　stood。



The　〃Ask　father〃　was　a　mere　form　to　be　gone　though。　　Old　Daniel　Hurst

and　William　Dixon　had　talked　over　what　they　could　respectively　give

their　children　before　this；　and　that　was　the　parental　way　of

arranging　such　matters。　　When　the　probable　amount　of　worldly　gear

that　he　could　give　his　child　had　been　named　by　each　father；　the　young

folk；　as　they　said；　might　take　their　own　time　in　coming　to　the　point

which　the　old　men；　with　the　prescience　of　experience；　saw　they　were

drifting　to；　no　need　to　hurry　them；　for　they　were　both　young；　and

Michael；　though　active　enough；　was　too　thoughtless；　old　Daniel　said；

to　be　trusted　with　the　entire　mana