half a life-time ago-第2部分

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wait　till　the　hams　and　bacon　were　cured：　　he　came　on　with　rapid

strides；　and　shooting　arrows　of　portentous　agony。　　Susan　had　never

seen　illnessnever　knew　how　much　she　loved　her　mother　till　now；　when

she　felt　a　dreadful；　instinctive　certainty　that　she　was　losing　her。

Her　mind　was　thronged　with　recollections　of　the　many　times　she　had

slighted　her　mother's　wishes；　her　heart　was　full　of　the　echoes　of

careless　and　angry　replies　that　she　had　spoken。　　What　would　she　not

now　give　to　have　opportunities　of　service　and　obedience；　and　trials

of　her　patience　and　love；　for　that　dear　mother　who　lay　gasping　in

torture！　　And　yet　Susan　had　been　a　good　girl　and　an　affectionate

daughter。



The　sharp　pain　went　off；　and　delicious　ease　came　on；　yet　still　her

mother　sunk。　　In　the　midst　of　this　languid　peace　she　was　dying。　　She

motioned　Susan　to　her　bedside；　for　she　could　only　whisper；　and　then；

while　the　father　was　out　of　the　room；　she　spoke　as　much　to　the　eager；

hungering　eyes　of　her　daughter　by　the　motion　of　her　lips；　as　by　the

slow；　feeble　sounds　of　her　voice。



〃Susan；　lass；　thou　must　not　fret。　　It　is　God's　will；　and　thou　wilt

have　a　deal　to　do。　　Keep　father　straight　if　thou　canst；　and　if　he

goes　out　Ulverstone　ways；　see　that　thou　meet　him　before　he　gets　to

the　Old　Quarry。　　It's　a　dree　bit　for　a　man　who　has　had　a　drop。　　As

for　lile　Will〃Here　the　poor　woman's　face　began　to　work　and　her

fingers　to　move　nervously　as　they　lay　on　the　bed…quilt〃lile　Will

will　miss　me　most　of　all。　　Father's　often　vexed　with　him　because　he's

not　a　quick　strong　lad；　he　is　not；　my　poor　lile　chap。　　And　father

thinks　he's　saucy；　because　he　cannot　always　stomach　oat…cake　and

porridge。　　There's　better　than　three　pound　in　th'　old　black　tea…pot

on　the　top　shelf　of　the　cupboard。　　Just　keep　a　piece　of　loaf…bread　by

you；　Susan　dear；　for　Will　to　come　to　when　he's　not　taken　his

breakfast。　　I　have；　may　be；　spoilt　him；　but　there'll　be　no　one　to

spoil　him　now。〃



She　began　to　cry　a　low；　feeble　cry；　and　covered　up　her　face　that

Susan　might　not　see　her。　　That　dear　face！　those　precious　moments

while　yet　the　eyes　could　look　out　with　love　and　intelligence。　　Susan

laid　her　head　down　close　by　her　mother's　ear。



〃Mother　I'll　take　tent　of　Will。　　Mother；　do　you　hear？　　He　shall　not

want　ought　I　can　give　or　get　for　him；　least　of　all　the　kind　words

which　you　had　ever　ready　for　us　both。　　Bless　you！　bless　you！　my　own

mother。〃



〃Thou'lt　promise　me　that；　Susan；　wilt　thou？　　I　can　die　easy　if

thou'lt　take　charge　of　him。　　But　he's　hardly　like　other　folk；　he

tries　father　at　times；　though　I　think　father'll　be　tender　of　him　when

I'm　gone；　for　my　sake。　　And；　Susan；　there's　one　thing　more。　　I　never

spoke　on　it　for　fear　of　the　bairn　being　called　a　tell…tale；　but　I

just　comforted　him　up。　　He　vexes　Michael　at　times；　and　Michael　has

struck　him　before　now。　　I　did　not　want　to　make　a　stir；　but　he's　not

strong；　and　a　word　from　thee；　Susan；　will　go　a　long　way　with

Michael。〃



Susan　was　as　red　now　as　she　had　been　pale　before；　it　was　the　first

time　that　her　influence　over　Michael　had　been　openly　acknowledged　by

a　third　person；　and　a　flash　of　joy　came　athwart　the　solemn　sadness　of

the　moment。　　Her　mother　had　spoken　too　much；　and　now　came　on　the

miserable　faintness。　　She　never　spoke　again　coherently；　but　when　her

children　and　her　husband　stood　by　her　bedside；　she　took　lile　Will's

hand　and　put　it　into　Susan's；　and　looked　at　her　with　imploring　eyes。

Susan　clasped　her　arms　round　Will；　and　leaned　her　head　upon　his

little　curly　one；　and　vowed　within　herself　to　be　as　a　mother　to　him。



Henceforward　she　was　all　in　all　to　her　brother。　　She　was　a　more

spirited　and　amusing　companion　to　him　than　his　mother　had　been；　from

her　greater　activity；　and　perhaps；　also；　from　her　originality　of

character；　which　often　prompted　her　to　perform　her　habitual　actions

in　some　new　and　racy　manner。　　She　was　tender　to　lile　Will　when　she

was　prompt　and　sharp　with　everybody　elsewith　Michael　most　of　all；

for　somehow　the　girl　felt　that；　unprotected　by　her　mother；　she　must

keep　up　her　own　dignity；　and　not　allow　her　lover　to　see　how　strong　a

hold　he　had　upon　her　heart。　　He　called　her　hard　and　cruel；　and　left

her　so；　and　she　smiled　softly　to　herself；　when　his　back　was　turned；

to　think　how　little　he　guessed　how　deeply　he　was　loved。　　For　Susan

was　merely　comely　and　fine　looking；　Michael　was　strikingly　handsome；

admired　by　all　the　girls　for　miles　round；　and　quite　enough　of　a

country　coxcomb　to　know　it　and　plume　himself　accordingly。　　He　was　the

second　son　of　his　father；　the　eldest　would　have　High　Beck　farm；　of

course；　but　there　was　a　good　penny　in　the　Kendal　bank　in　store　for

Michael。　　When　harvest　was　over；　he　went　to　Chapel　Langdale　to　learn

to　dance；　and　at　night；　in　his　merry　moods；　he　would　do　his　steps　on

the　flag　floor　of　the　Yew　Nook　kitchen；　to　the　secret　admiration　of

Susan；　who　had　never　learned　dancing；　but　who　flouted　him

perpetually；　even　while　she　admired；　in　accordance　with　the　rule　she

seemed　to　have　made　for　herself　about　keeping　him　at　a　distance　so

long　as　he　lived　under　the　same　roof　with　her。　　One　evening　he　sulked

at　some　saucy　remark　of　hers；　he　sitting　in　the　chimney　corner　with

his　arms　on　his　knees；　and　his　head　bent　forwards；　lazily　gazing　into

the　wood…fire　on　the　hearth；　and　luxuriating　in　rest　after　a　hard

day's　labour；　she　sitting　among　the　geraniums　on　the　long；　low

window…seat；　trying　to　catch　the　last　slanting　rays　of　the　autumnal

light　to　enable　her　to　finish　stitching　a　shirt…collar　for　Will；　who

lounged　full　length　on　the　flags　at　the　other　side　of　the　hearth　to

Michael；　poking　the　burning　wood　from　time　to　time　with　a　long　hazel…

stick　to　bring　out　the　leap　of　glittering　sparks。



〃And　if　you　can　dance　a　threesome　reel；　what　good　does　it　do　ye？〃

asked　Susan；　looking　askance　at　Michael；　who　had　just　been　vaunting

his　proficiency。　　〃Does　it　help　you　plough；　reap；　or　even　climb　the

rocks　to　take　a　raven's　nest？　　If　I　were　a　man；　I'd　be　ashamed　to

give　in　to　such　softness。〃



〃If　you　were　a　man；　you'd　be　glad　to　do　anything　which　made　the

pretty　girls　stand　round　and　admire。〃



〃As　they　do　to　you；　eh！　　Ho；　Michael；　that　would　not　be　my　way　o'

being　a　man！〃



〃What　would　then？〃　asked　he；　after　a　pause；　during　which　he　had

expected　in　vain　that　she　would　go　on　with　her　sentence。　　No　answer。



〃I　should　not　like　you　as　a　man；　Susy；　you'd　be　too　hard　and

headstrong。〃



〃Am　I　hard　and　headstrong？〃　asked　she；　with　as　indifferent　a　tone　as

she　could　assume；　but　which　yet　had　a　touch　of　pique　in　it。　　His

quick　ear　detected　the　inflexion。



〃No；　Susy！　　You're　wilful　at　times；　and　that's　right　enough。　　I　don't

like　a　girl　without　spirit。　　There's　a　mighty　pretty　girl　comes　to

the　dancing　class；　but　she　is　all　milk　and　water。　　Her　eyes　never

flash　like　yours　when　you're　put　out；　why；　I　can　see　them　flame

across　the　kitchen　like　a　cat's　in　the　dark。　　Now；　if　you　were　a　man；

I　should　feel　queer　before　those　looks　of　yours；　as　it　is；　I　rather

like　them；　because〃



〃Because　what？〃　asked　she；　looking　up　and　perceiving　that　he　had

stolen　close　up　to　her。



〃Because　I　can　make　all　right　in　this　way；〃　said　he；　kissing　her

suddenly。



〃Can　you？〃　said　she；　wrenching　herself　out　of　his　grasp　and　panting；

half　with　rage。　　〃Take　that；　by　way　of　proof　that　making　right　is

none　so　easy。〃　　And　she　boxed　his　ears　pretty　sharply。　　He　went　back

to　his　seat　discomfited　and　out　of　temper。　　She　could　no　longer　see

to　look；　even　if　her　face　had　not　burnt　and　her　eyes　dazzled；　but　she

did　not　choose　to　move　her　seat；　so　she　still　preserved　her　stooping

attitude　and　pretended　to　go　on　sewing。



〃Eleanor　Hebthwaite　may　be　milk…and…water；〃　muttered　he；　〃but

Confound　thee；　lad！　what　art　thou　doing？〃　exclaimed　Michael；　as　a

great　piece　of　burning　wood　was　cast　into　his　face　by　an　unlucky　poke

of　Will's。　　〃Thou　great　lounging；　clumsy　chap；　I'll　teach　thee

better！〃　and　with　one　or　two　good　round　kicks　he　sent　the　lad

whimpering　away　into　the　back…kitchen。　　When　he　had　a　little

recovered　himself　from　his　passion；　he　saw　Susan　standing　before　him；

her　face　looking　strange　and　almost　ghastly　by　the　reversed　position

of　the　shadows；　arising　from　the　firelight　shining　upwards　right

under　it。



〃I　tell　thee　what；　Michael；〃　said　she；　〃that　lad's　motherless；　but

not　friendless。〃



〃His　own　father　leathers　him；　and　why　should　not　I；　when　he's　given

me　such　a　burn　on　my　face？〃　said　Michael；　putting　up　his　hand　to　his

cheek　as　if　in　pain。



〃His　father's　his　father；　and　there　is　nought　more　to　be　said。　　But

if　he　did　burn　thee；　it　was　by　accident；　and　not　o'　purpose；　as　thou

kicked　him；　it's　a　mercy　if　his　ribs　are　not　broken。〃



〃He　howls　loud　enough；　I'm　sure。　　I　might　ha'　kicked　many　a　lad　twice

as　hard；　and　they'd　ne'er　ha'　said　ought　but　'damn　ye；'　but　yon　lad

must　needs　cry　out　like　a　stuck　pig　if　one　touches　him；〃　repli