tg.stone of tears-第67部分

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d　you　need　to　use　some　special　plant；　or　food；　or　drink；　or　in　this　case；　red　frogs；　to　see　and　talk　to　them？
　
　‘Please　don’t　think　I　am　mocking　you；　Richard。　The　visions　can　seem　very　real。　When　you　are　under　their　influence；　they　can　seem　as　real　as　anything。　But　they　are　not。’
　
　Richard　was　reluctant　to　believe　the　Sister’s　explanation；　but　he　understood　what　she　was　talking　about。　From　a　young　age；　Zedd　had　taken　him　into　the　woods　to　find　special　plants　to　help　people：　aum　to　take　away　pain　and　help　minor　wounds　heal　faster；　and　wattle　root　to　ease　the　pain　of　deeper　wounds。　Zedd　had　showed　him　other　plants　that　would　help　fevers；　digestion；　the　pain　of　childbirth；　dizzy　spells；　and　he　had　also　told　him　about　plants　to　avoid；　plants　that　were　dangerous；　and　plants　that　would　make　people　see　things　that　weren’t　there：　visions。
　
　But　he　didn’t　think　he　had　imagined　Darken　Rahl。　‘He　burned　me。’　Richard　tapped　his　shirt　where　the　bandage　was。　‘I　couldn’t　have　been　having　visions。　Darken　Rahl　was　there；　he　reached　out　and　touched　me；　and　it　burned　my　skin。　Pm　not　imagining　that。’
　
　The　Sister　gave　a　little　shrug。　‘That　could…　be　one　of　two　things。　After　you　rubbed　the　frog　on　your　skin；　you　couldn’t　see　the　room　you　were　in；　could　you？’
　
　‘No。　It　just　seemed　to　disappear　into　a　dark　void。’
　
　‘Well；　see　it　or　not；　it　was　still　there。　And　I’m　sure　the　savages　would　have　had　a　fire　burning　when　you　had　this　gathering。　And　when　you　were　burned；　you　were　not　sitting　in　the　same　place；　but　you　were　standing；　moving　about；　yes？’
　
　‘Yes；’　he　admitted　reluctantly。
　
　She　pursed　her　lips。　‘In　the　deluded　state　you　were　in；　you　probably　fell　and　burned　yourself　on　a　stick　in　the　fire　and　imagined　that　it　was　this　spirit　doing　the　burning。’
　
　Richard　was　beginning　to　feel　decidedly　foolish。　Could　the　Sister　be　right？　Was　it　all　this　simple？　Was　he　really　this　gullible？
　
　‘You　said　it　could　be　two　things。　What　is　the　other？’
　
　The　Sister　rode　in　silence　for　a　moment。　When　her　voice　came；　it　came　lower；　darker；　than　it　had　before。　The　Nameless　One　always　seeks　to　have　us　side　with　him。　Though　he　is　locked　behind　the　veil；　his　tentacles　can　still　reach　into　this　world。　He　can　still　harm　us。　He　is　dangerous。　The　dark　side　is　dangerous。　When　ignorant　people　dabble　in　things　dark；　they　can　call　forth　danger；　call　forth　the　attention　of　the　Nameless　One　or　his　minions。　It　is　possible　you　really　were　touched；　burned；　by　one　of　the　evil　ones。’　She　glanced　over。　There　are　dangerous　things　people　are　too　foolish　to　avoid。　Sometimes；　those　things　can　kill。’
　
　Her　voice　brightened　a　bit。　That　is　one　of　our　jobs；　trying　to　teach　those　who　have　not　yet　seen　the　light　of　the　Creator　to　go　toward　that　light；　and　stay　away　from　the　things　dark；　and　dangerous。’
　
　Richard　couldn’t　think　of　anything　to　counter　the　Sister’s　explanations　of　events。　The　things　she　said　made　sense。　If　she　were　right；　that　would　mean　that　Kahlan　wasn’t　really　in　danger；　that　Kahlan　was　safe。　He　wanted　to　believe　that。　He　desperately　wanted　to　believe　that。　But　still　。。。
　
　‘I　will　admit　that　you　could　be　right；　but　I’m　not　sure。　There　seems　to　be　more　to　it　than　I　can　put　into　words。’
　
　‘I　understand；　Richard。　It’s　hard　to　admit　we　have　been　wrong。　No　one　wants　to　admit　they　have　been　tricked；　or　made　to　look　the　fool。　That　view　of　ourselves　hurts。　But　part　of　growing；　learning；　is　being　able　to　hold　the　truth　above　all　else；　even　when　it　means　we　must　admit　to　having　held　foolish　ideas。
　
　‘Please　believe　me；　Richard；　I　do　not　see　you　as　a　fool　for　having　believed　as　you　did。　Your　fear　was　understandable。　The　mark　of　a　wise　person　is　being　able　to　reach　beyond　for　the　truth；　to　admit　they　can　learn　more　than　they　already　know。’
　
　‘But　all　of　these　things　are　connected　。。。’
　
　‘Are　they？　A　wise　person　doesn’t　string　together　the　beads　of　unrelated　events　into　a　necklace　simply　to　have　something　they　wish　to　see。　A　wise　person　sees　the　truth　even　if　it　is　something　unexpected。　That　is　the　most　beautiful　necklace　to　wear　…　the　truth。’
　
　‘The　truth；’　he　muttered　to　himself。　He　was　the　Seeker。　The　truth　was　what　the　Seeker　was　all　about。　It　was　woven　in　gold　wire　into　the　hilt　of　his　sword：　the　Sword　of　Truth。　Something　about　the　things　that　had　happened　were　more　than　he　could　put　into　words　for　her。　Could　it　be　as　she　said？　Could　he　simply　be　fooling　himself？
　
　He　remembered　the　Wizard’s　First　Rule：　people　will　believe　anything；　either　because　they　want　it　to　be　true；　or　are　afraid　it　might　be。　He　knew　from　experience　that　he　was　as　susceptible　to　it　as　anyone　else。　He　wasn’t　above　believing　a　lie。
　
　He　had　believed　Kahlan　loved　him。　He　had　believed　she　would　never　do　anything　to　hurt　him。　And　she　had　sent　him　away。　Richard　felt　the　lump　rising　in　his　throat　again。
　
　‘I’m　telling　you　the　truth；　Richard。　I　am　here　to　help　you。’　He　didn’t　answer。　He　didn’t　believe　her。　As　if　to　answer　his　thoughts；　she　asked；　‘How　are　your　headaches？’
　
　The　question　stunned　him。　Not　the　question　so　much　as　the　realization。　‘They’re　。。。　gone。　The　headache　is　pletely　gone。’
　
　Sister　Verna　smiled　and　nodded　in　satisfaction。　‘As　I　promised　you；　the　Rada’Han　would　take　away　the　headache。　We　only　want　to　help　you；　Richard。’
　
　His　eyes　turned　to　watch　her。　‘You　also　said　the　collar　is　to　control　me。’
　
　‘So　we　may　teach　you；　Richard。　You　must　have　a　person’s　attention　to　teach　them。　That’s　all　it　is　for。’
　
　‘And　to　hurt　me。　You　said　it　is　to　give　me　pain。’
　
　She　shrugged；　opening　her　palms　to　the　sky；　the　reins　woven　through　her　fingers。　‘I　have　just　given　you　pain。　I　showed　you　how　you　were　believing　in　something　foolish。　Does　that　not　give　you　pain？　Does　it　not　hurt　you　to　learn　you　have　been　wrong？　But　isn’t　it　better　to　know　the　truth　than　to　believe　a　lie？　Even　if　it　hurts？’
　
　He　looked　away；　thinking　of　the　truth　of　Kahlan　making　him　put　on　a　collar；　sending　him　away。　That　truth　hurt　more　than　anything：　the　truth　that　he　wasn’t　good　enough　for　her。　‘I　guess　so。　But　I　don’t　like　wearing　a　collar。　Not　one　bit。’
　
　He　was　sick　of　talking。　His　chest　hurt。　His　muscles　were　all　cramped。　He　was　tired。　He　missed　Kahlan。　But　Kahlan　had　made　him　put　on　a　collar　and　sent　him　away。　He　let　his　horse　and　the　one　tethered　to　his　saddle　fall　back　to　trail　behind　the　Sister’s　once　more　as　tears　ran　down　his　cheeks；　feeling　like　ice　on　his　skin。
　
　He　rode　in　silence。　His　horse　tore　off　wads　of　grass　and　chewed　as　it　plodded　along。　Ordinarily；　Richard　wouldn’t　have　let　his　horse　eat　while　it　had　a　bit　in　its　mouth。　It　couldn’t　chew　properly　with　the　bit；　and　could　end　up　with　colic。　You　could　lose　a　good　horse　to　colic。　Instead　of　stopping　it；　Richard　stroked　its　warm　neck　and　gave　reassuring　pats。
　
　It　felt　good　to　have　pany　that　didn’t　tell　him　he　was　stupid；　pany　that　didn’t　judge　or　make　demands。　He　didn’t　feel　like　doing　the　same　to　the　horse。　Better　to　be　a　horse　than　a　man；　he　thought。　Walk；　turn；　stop。　Nothing　more。　Better　to　be　anything　than　what　he　was。
　
　Despite　what　Sister　Verna　said；　he　knew　he　was　nothing　more　than　a　captive。　Nothing　she　said　could　change　that。
　
　If　he　was　ever　going　to　be　set　free；　he　would　have　to　learn　to　control　the　gift。　Once　the　Sisters　were　satisfied　he　could　control　the　gift；　maybe　they　would　free　him。　If　Kahlan　didn’t　want　him；　at　least　he　would　be　free。
　
　That　was　what　he　would　do；　he　decided。　Learn　to　use　the　gift　as　fast　as　he　could；　so　he　could　get　the　collar　off　and　be　set　free。　Zedd　had　always　told　him　he　was　a　fast　learner。　He　would　learn　everything。　Besides；　he　had　always　liked　learning。　He　had　always　wanted　to　know　more。　There　was　never　enough　for　him。　He　brightened　the　slightest　bit　at　the　idea。　He　liked　learning　new　things。　Maybe　it　wouldn’t　be　so　bad。　He　could　do　it。　Besides；　what　else　was　there？
　
　He　thought　of　the　way　Denna　trained　him；　taught　him。
　
　His　mood　sank。　He　was　just　deluding　himself。　They　would　never　set　him　free。　He　wasn’t　going　to　learn　because　he　wanted　to；　or　what　he　wanted　to；　he　was　going　to　learn　what　the　Sisters　of　the　Light　wanted　him　to　learn；　and　he　didn’t　necessarily　believe　that　what　they　taught　was　the　truth。　They　were　going　to　teach　him　about　pain。　It　was　hopeless。
　
　He　rode　with　his　dark；　brooding　thoughts。　He　was　the　Seeker。　The　bringer　of　death。
　
　Every　time　he　killed　someone　with　the　Sword　of　Truth；　he　knew　that　that　was　what　he　was。　That　was　what　the　Seeker　did；　what　the　Seeker　was：　the　bringer　of　death。
　
　As　the　sky　began　flaming　into　pinks；　yellows；　and　golds；　he　noticed　white　patches　in　the　distance　ahead。　It　wasn’t　snow；　the　snow　hadn’t　stuck。　Besides；　these　things　moved。　Sister　Verna　didn’t　say　anything　about　them；　she　simply　rode　along。　The　sun　at　their　backs　sent　long　shadows　ahead　of　them。　For　the　first　time；　Richard　realized　they　were　traveling　east。
　
　When　they　were　closer；　he　recognized　the　white　forms　spread　across　their　way；　turning　pink　in　the　last　rays　of　the　sun。　It　was　a　small　flock　of　sheep。　As　they　passed　among　them；　Richard　saw　that　the　people　tend