5 midnight sun午夜阳光-第8部分
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
anxiously； lifting her head from her arm to make sure Jessica obeyed the order。 Jessica giggled； but did as she was asked。 The girl did not look away from her table for the rest of the hour。 I thought though； of course； I could not be sure that this was deliberate。 It seemed like she wanted to look at me。 Her body would shift slightly in my direction； her chin would begin to turn； and then she would catch herself； take a deep breath； and stare fixedly at whoever was speaking。 I ignored the other thoughts around the girl for the most part； as they were not； momentarily； about her。 Mike Newton was planning a snow fight in the parking lot after school； not seeming to realize that the snow had already shifted to rain。 The flutter of soft flakes against the roof had bee the more mon patter of raindrops。 Could he really not hear the change？ It seemed loud to me。 When the lunch period ended； I stayed in my seat。 The humans filed out； and I caught myself trying to distinguish the sound of her footsteps from the sound of the rest； as if there was something important or unusual about them。 How stupid。 My family made no move to leave； either。 They waited to see what I would do。 Would I go to class； sit beside the girl where I could smell the absurdly potent scent of her blood and feel the warmth of her pulse in the air on my skin？ Was I strong enough for that？ Or had I had enough for one day？ I think it s okay； Alice said； hesitant。 make it through the hour。 Your mind is set。 I think you ll But Alice knew well how quickly a mind could change。 Why push it； Edward？ Jasper asked。 Though he didn t want to feel smug that I was the one who was weak now； I could hear that he did； just a little。 Go home。 Take it slow。 What s the big deal？ Emmett disagreed。 Either he will or he won t kill her。 Might as well get it over with； either way。 I don t want to move yet； Rosalie plained。 I don t want to start over。 We re almost out of high school； Emmett。 Finally。 I was evenly torn on the decision。 I wanted； wanted badly； to face this head on rather than running away again。 But I didn t want to push myself too far； either。 It had been a mistake last week for Jasper to go so long without hunting； was this just as pointless a mistake？ I didn t want to uproot my family。 None of them would thank me for that。 I realized that I wanted to see her face But I wanted to go to my biology class。 again。
That s what decided it for me。 That curiosity。 I was angry with myself for feeling it。 Hadn t I promised myself that I wouldn t let the silence of the girl s mind make me unduly interested in her？ And yet； here I was； most unduly interested。 I wanted to know what she was thinking。 Her mind was closed； but her eyes were very open。 Perhaps I could read them instead。 No； Rose； I think it really will be okay； Alice said。 It s firming up。 I m niythree percent sure that nothing bad will happen if he goes to class。 She looked at me inquisitively； wondering what had changed in my thoughts that made her vision of the future more secure。 Would curiosity be enough to keep Bella Swan alive？ Emmett was right； though why not get it over with； either way？ temptation head on。 I would face the Go to class； I ordered； pushing away from the table。 I turned and strode away from them without looking back。 I could hear Alice s worry； Jasper s censure； Emmett s approval； and Rosalie s irritation trailing after me。 I took one last deep breath at the door of the classroom； and then held it in my lungs as I walked into the small； warm space。 I was not late。 Mr。 Banner was still setting up for today s lab。 The girl sat at my at our table； her face down again； staring at the folder she was doodling on。 I examined the sketch as I approached； interested in even this trivial creation of her mind； but it was meaningless。 Just a random scribbling of loops within loops。 Perhaps she was not concentrating on the pattern； but thinking of something else？ I pulled my chair back with unnecessary roughness； letting it scrape across the linoleum； humans always felt more fortable when noise announced someone s approach。 I knew she heard the sound； she did not look up； but her hand missed a loop in the design she was drawing； making it unbalanced。 Why didn t she look up？ Probably she was frightened。 I must be sure to leave her with a different impression this time。 Make her think she d been imagining things before。 Hello； I said in the quiet voice I used when I wanted to make humans more fortable； forming a polite smile with my lips that would not show any teeth。 She looked up then； her wide brown eyes startled almost bewildered and full of silent questions。 It was the same expression that had been obstructing my vision for the last week。 As I stared into those oddly deep brown eyes； I realized that the hate the hate I d imagined this girl somehow deserved for simply existing had evaporated。 Not breathing now； not tasting her scent； it was hard to believe that anyone so vulnerable could ever justify hatred。 Her cheeks began to flush； and she said nothing。 I kept my eyes on hers； focusing only on their questioning depths； and tried to ignore the appetizing color of her skin。 I had enough breath to speak for a while longer without inhaling。
My name is Edward Cullen； I said； though I knew she knew that。 It was the polite way to begin。 I didn t have a chance to introduce myself last week。 must be Bella Swan。 She seemed confused there was that little pucker between her eyes again。 her half a second longer than it should have for her to respond。 You It took How do you know my name？ she demanded； and her voice shook just a little。 I must have truly terrified her。 This made me feel guilty； she was just so defenseless。 I laughed gently it was a sound that I knew made humans more at ease。 Again； I was careful about my teeth。 Oh； I think everyone knows your name。 Surely she must have realized that she d bee the center of attention in this monotonous place。 The whole town s been waiting for you to arrive。 She frowned as if this information was unpleasant。 I supposed； being shy as she seemed to be； attention would seem like a bad thing to her。 Most humans felt the opposite。 Though they didn t want to stand out from the herd； at the same time they craved a spotlight for their individual uniformity。 No； she said。 I meant； why did you call me Bella？ Do you prefer Isabella？ I asked； perplexed by the fact that I couldn t see where this question was leading。 I didn t understand。 Surely； she d made her preference clear many times that first day。 Were all humans this inprehensible without the mental context as a guide？ No； I like Bella； she answered； leaning her head slightly to one side。 Her expression if I was reading it correctly was torn between embarrassment and confusion。 But I think Charlie I mean my dad must call me Isabella behind my back。 That s what everyone here seems to know me as。 Her skin darkened one shade pinker。 Oh； I said lamely； and quickly looked away from her face。 I d just realized what her questions meant： I had slipped up made an error。 If I hadn t been eavesdropping on all the others that first day； then I would have addressed her initially by her full name； just like everyone else。 She d noticed the difference。 I felt a pang of unease。 It was very quick of her to pick up on my slip。 Quite astute； especially for someone who was supposed to be terrified by my nearness。 But I had bigger problems than whatever suspicions about me she might be keeping locked inside her head。 I was out of air。 If I were going to speak to her again； I would have to inhale。 It would be hard to avoid speaking。 Unfortunately for her； sharing this table made her my lab partner； and we would have to work together today。 It would seem odd and inprehensibly rude for me to ignore her while we did the lab。 It would make her more suspicious； more afraid I leaned as far away from her as I could without moving my seat； twisting my head out into the aisle。 I braced myself； locking my muscles in place； and then sucked in one quick chestfull of air； breathing through my mouth alone。
Ahh！ It was genuinely painful。 Even without smelling her； I could taste her on my tongue。 My throat was suddenly in flames again； the craving every bit as strong as that first moment I d caught her scent last week。 I gritted my teeth together and tried to pose myself。 Get started； Mr。 Banner manded。 It felt like it took every single ounce of selfcontrol that I d achieved in seventy years of hard work to turn back to the girl； who was staring down at the table； and smile。 Ladies first； partner？ I offered。 She looked up at my expression and her face went blank； her eyes wide。 Was there something off in my expression？ Was she frightened again？ She didn t speak。 Or； I could start； if you wish； I said quietly。 No； she said； and her face went from white to red again。 I ll go first。 I stared at the equipment on the table； the battered microscope； the box of slides； rather than watch the blood swirl under her clear skin。 I took another quick breath； through my teeth； and winced as the taste made my throat ache。 Prophase； she said after a quick examination。 though she d barely examined it。 She started to remove the slide； Do you mind if I look？ Instinctively stupidly； as if
