5 midnight sun午夜阳光-第6部分

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ck　rock　and　balancing　there　on　the　balls　of　her　bare　feet。　Tanya　s　skin　was　silver　in　the　starlight；　and　her　long　blond　curls　shone　pale；　almost　pink　with　their　strawberry　tint。　Her　amber　eyes　glinted　as　she　spied　me；　halfburied　in　the　snow；　and　her　full　lips　stretched　slowly　into　a　smile。　Exquisite。　If　I　d　really　been　able　to　see　her。　I　sighed。　She　crouched　down　on　the　point　of　the　stone；　her　fingertips　touching　the　rock；　her　body　coiled。　Cannonball；　she　thought。　She　launched　herself　into　the　air；　her　shape　became　a　dark；　twisting　shadow　as　she　spun　gracefully　between　me　and　the　stars。　She　curled　herself　into　a　ball　just　as　she　struck　the　piled　snow　bank　beside　me。　A　blizzard　of　snow　flew　up　around　me。　in　the　feathery　ice　crystals。　The　stars　went　black　and　I　was　buried　deep　I　sighed　again；　but　didn　t　move　to　unearth　myself。　The　blackness　under　the　snow　neither　hurt　nor　improved　the　view。　I　still　saw　the　same　face。　Edward？　Then　snow　was　flying　again　as　Tanya　swiftly　disinterred　me。　powder　from　my　unmoving　face；　not　quite　meeting　my　eyes。　She　brushed　the

Sorry；　she　murmured。　I　know。　It　was　a　joke。　It　was　funny。　Her　mouth　twisted　down。　Irina　and　Kate　said　I　should　leave　you　alone。　They　think　I　m　annoying　you。　Not　at　all；　I　assured　her。　On　the　contrary；　I　m　the　one　who　s　being　rude　abominably　rude。　I　m　very　sorry。　You　re　going　home；　aren　t　you？　she　thought。　I　haven　t　entirely　decided　that　yet。　But　you　re　not　staying　here。　No。　Her　thought　was　wistful　now；　sad。　It　doesn　t　seem　to　be　helping。　That　s　my　fault；　isn　t　it？　She　grimaced。　Of　course　not；　I　lied　smoothly。　Don　t　be　a　gentleman。　I　smiled。　I　make　you　unfortable；　she　accused。　No。　She　raised　one　eyebrow；　her　expression　so　disbelieving　that　I　had　to　laugh。　short　laugh；　followed　by　another　sigh。　All　right；　I　admitted。　A　little　bit。　She　sighed；　too；　and　put　her　chin　in　her　hands。　Her　thoughts　were　chagrined。　One　You　re　a　thousand　times　lovelier　than　the　stars；　Tanya。　Of　course；　you　re　already　well　aware　of　that。　Don　t　let　my　stubbornness　undermine　your　confidence。　I　chuckled　at　the　unlikeliness　of　that。　I　m　not　used　to　rejection；　she　grumbled；　her　lower　lip　pushing　out　into　an　attractive　pout。　Certainly　not；　I　agreed；　trying　with　little　success　to　block　out　her　thoughts　as　she　fleetingly　sifted　through　memories　of　her　thousands　of　successful　conquests。　Mostly　Tanya　preferred　human　men　they　were　much　more　populous　for　one　thing；　with　the　added　advantage　of　being　soft　and　warm。　And　always　eager；　definitely。　Succubus；　I　teased；　hoping　to　interrupt　the　images　flickering　in　her　head。　She　grinned；　flashing　her　teeth。　The　original。　Unlike　Carlisle；　Tanya　and　her　sisters　had　discovered　their　consciences　slowly。　In　the　end；　it　was　their　fondness　for　human　men　that　turned　the　sisters　against　the　slaughter。　Now　the　men　they　loved　lived。　When　you　showed　up　here；　Tanya　said　slowly。　I　thought　that

I　d　known　what　she　d　thought。　And　I　should　have　guessed　that　she　would　have　felt　that　way。　But　I　hadn　t　been　at　my　best　for　analytical　thinking　in　that　moment。　You　thought　that　I　d　changed　my　mind。　Yes。　She　scowled。　I　didn　t　mean　to　I　I　feel　horrible　for　toying　with　your　expectations；　Tanya。　wasn　t　thinking。　It　s　just　that　I　left　in　quite　a　hurry。　I　don　t　suppose　you　d　tell　me　why　？　I　sat　up　and　wrapped　my　arms　around　my　legs；　curling　defensively。　to　talk　about　it。　I　don　t　want　Tanya；　Irina　and　Kate　were　very　good　at　this　life　they　d　mitted　to。　Better；　in　some　ways；　than　even　Carlisle。　Despite　the　insanely　close　proximity　they　allowed　themselves　with　those　who　should　be　and　once　were　their　prey；　they　did　not　make　mistakes。　I　was　too　ashamed　to　admit　my　weakness　to　Tanya。　Woman　troubles？　she　guessed；　ignoring　my　reluctance。　I　laughed　a　bleak　laugh。　Not　the　way　you　mean　it。　She　was　quiet　then。　I　listened　to　her　thoughts　as　she　ran　through　different　guesses；　tried　to　decipher　the　meaning　of　my　words。　You　re　not　even　close；　I　told　her。　One　hint？　she　asked。　Please　let　it　go；　Tanya。　She　was　quiet　again；　still　speculating。　appreciate　the　stars。　I　ignored　her；　trying　in　vain　to　She　gave　up　after　a　silent　moment；　and　her　thoughts　pursued　a　new　direction。　Where　will　you　go；　Edward；　if　you　leave？　I　don　t　think　so；　I　whispered。　Where　would　I　go？　I　could　not　think　of　one　place　on　the　entire　pla　that　held　any　interest　for　me。　There　was　nothing　I　wanted　to　see　or　do。　Because；　no　matter　where　I　went；　I　would　not　be　going　to　anywhere　I　would　only　be　running　from。　I　hated　that。　When　had　I　bee　such　a　coward？　Back　to　Carlisle？　Tanya　threw　her　slender　arm　around　my　shoulders。　I　stiffened；　but　did　not　flinch　out　from　under　her　touch。　She　meant　it　as　nothing　more　than　friendly　fort。　Mostly。　I　think　that　you　will　go　back；　she　said；　her　voice　taking　on　just　a　hint　of　her　long　lost　Russian　accent。　No　matter　what　it　is　or　who　it　is。。。that　is　haunting　you。　You　ll　face　it　head　on。　You　re　the　type。　Her　thoughts　were　as　certain　as　her　words。　I　tried　to　embrace　the　vision　of　myself　that　she　carried　in　her　head。　The　one　who　faced　things　head　on。　It　was

pleasant　to　think　of　myself　that　way　again。　I　d　never　doubted　my　courage；　my　ability　to　face　difficulty；　before　that　horrible　hour　in　a　high　school　biology　class　such　a　short　time　ago。　I　kissed　her　cheek；　pulling　back　swiftly　when　she　twisted　her　face　toward　mine；　her　lips　already　puckered。　She　smiled　ruefully　at　my　quickness。　Thank　you；　Tanya。　I　needed　to　hear　that。　Her　thoughts　turned　petulant。　You　re　wele；　I　guess。　I　wish　you　would　be　more　reasonable　about　things；　Edward。　I　m　sorry；　Tanya。　You　know　you　re　too　good　for　me。　I　just　haven　t　found　what　I　m　looking　for　yet。　Well；　if　you　leave　before　I　see　you　again　goodbye；　Edward。　Goodbye；　Tanya。　As　I　said　the　words；　I　could　see　it。　I　could　see　myself　leaving。　Being　strong　enough　to　go　back　to　the　one　place　where　I　wanted　to　be。　Thanks　again。　She　was　on　her　feet　in　one　nimble　move；　and　then　she　was　running　away；　ghosting　across　the　snow　so　quickly　that　her　feet　had　no　time　to　sink　into　the　snow；　she　left　no　prints　behind　her。　She　didn　t　look　back。　My　rejection　bothered　her　more　than　she　d　let　on　before；　even　in　her　thoughts。　She　wouldn　t　want　to　see　me　again　before　I　left。　My　mouth　twisted　with　chagrin。　I　didn　t　like　hurting　Tanya；　though　her　feelings　were　not　deep；　hardly　pure；　and；　in　any　case；　not　something　I　could　return。　It　still　made　me　feel　less　than　a　gentleman。　I　put　my　chin　on　my　knees　and　stared　up　at　the　stars　again；　though　I　was　suddenly　anxious　to　be　on　my　way。　I　knew　that　Alice　would　see　me　ing　home；　that　she　would　tell　the　others。　This　would　make　them　happy　Carlisle　and　Esme　especially。　But　I　gazed　at　the　stars　for　one　more　moment；　trying　to　see　past　the　face　in　my　head。　Between　me　and　the　brilliant　lights　in　the　sky；　a　pair　of　bewildered　chocolatebrown　eyes　stared　back　at　me；　seeming　to　ask　what　this　decision　would　mean　for　her。　Of　course；　I　couldn　t　be　sure　if　that　was　really　the　information　her　curious　eyes　sought。　Even　in　my　imagination；　I　couldn　t　hear　her　thoughts。　Bella　Swan　s　eyes　continued　to　question；　and　an　unobstructed　view　of　the　stars　continued　to　elude　me。　With　a　heavy　sigh；　I　gave　up；　and　got　to　my　feet。　If　I　ran；　I　would　be　back　to　Carlisle　s　car　in　less　than　an　hour　In　a　hurry　to　see　my　family　and　wanting　very　much　to　be　the　Edward　that　faced　things　head　on　I　raced　across　the　starlit　snowfield；　leaving　no　footprints。　It　s　going　to　be　okay；　Alice　breathed。　Her　eyes　were　unfocused；　and　Jasper　had　one　hand　lightly　under　her　elbow；　guiding　her　forward　as　we　walked　into　the　rundown　cafeteria　in　a　close　group。　Rosalie　and　Emmett　led　the　way；　Emmett　looking　ridiculously　like　a　bodyguard　in　the　middle　of　hostile　territory。　Rose　looked　wary；　too；　but　much　more　irritated　than　protective。　Of　course　it　is；　I　grumbled。　Their　behavior　was　ludicrous。　If　I　wasn　t　positive　that　I　could　handle　this　moment；　I　would　have　stayed　home。　The　sudden　shift　from　our　normal；　even　playful　morning　it　had　snowed　in　the　night；　and　Emmett　and　Jasper　were　not　above　taking　advantage　of　my　distraction　to　bombard　me　with　slushballs；　when　they　got　bored　with　my　lack　of　response；　they　d　turned　on　each　other　to　this　overdone　vigilance　would　have　been　ical　if　it　weren　t　so

irritating。　She　s　not　here　yet；　but　the　way　she　s　going　to　e　in　she　won　t　be　downwind　if　we　sit　in　our　regular　spot。　Of　course　we　ll　sit　in　our　regular　spot。　nerves。　I　ll　be　absolutely　fine。　Stop　it；　Alice。　You　re　getting　on　my　She　blinked　once　as　Jasper　helped　her　into　her　seat；　and　her　eyes　finally　focused　on　my　face。　Hmm；　she　said；　sounding　surprised。　Of　course　I　am；　I　muttered。　I　hated　being　the　focus　of　their　concern。　I　felt　a　sudden　sympathy　for　Jasper；　remembering　all　the　times　we　d　hovered　protectively　over　him。　He　met　my　glance　briefly；　and　grinned。　Annoying；　isn　t　it？　I　grimaced　at　him。　Was　it　just　last　week　that　this　long；　drab　room　had　seemed　so　killingly　dull　to　me？　That　it　had　seemed　almost　like　sleep；　like　a　a；　to　be　here？　Today　my　nerves　were　stretched　tight　piano　wires；　tensed　to　sing　at　the　lightest　pressure。　My　senses　were　hyperalert；　I　scanned　every　sound；　every　sight；　every　movement　of　the　air　that　touched　my　skin；　every　thought。　Especially　the　thoughts。　There　was　only　one　sense　that　I　kept　locked　down；　refused　to　use。　Smell；　of　course。　I　didn　t　breath