5 midnight sun午夜阳光-第32部分
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the amount that I d missed her。 I tried to picture her in the sun on the beach。 The picture was inplete； though； because I d never been to First Beach myself。 I only knew how it looked in pictures I felt a tiny qualm of unease as I thought about the reason why I d never once been to the pretty beach located just a few minutes run from my home。 Bella had spent the day at La Push a place where I was forbidden； by treaty； to go。 A place where a few old men still remembered the stories about the Cullens； remembered and believed them。 A place where our secret was known I shook my head。 I had nothing to worry about there。 The Quileutes were bound by treaty； too。 Even had Bella run into one of those aging sages； they could reveal nothing。 And why would the subject ever be broached？ Why would Bella think to voice her curiosity there？ No the Quileutes were perhaps the one thing I did not have to worry about。 I was angry with the sun when it began to rise。 It reminded me that I could not satisfy my curiosity for days to e。 Why did it choose to shine now？ With a sigh； I ducked out her window before it was light enough for anyone to see me here。 I meant to stay in the thick forest by her house and see her off to school； but when I got into the trees； I was surprised to find the trace of her scent lingering on the trail there。 I followed it quickly； curiously； being more and more worried as it led deeper into the darkness。 What had Bella been doing out here？ The trail stopped abruptly； in the middle of nowhere in particular。 She d gone just a few steps off the trail； into the ferns； where she d touched the trunk of a fallen tree。 Perhaps sat there I sat where she had； and looked around。 All she would have been able to see was ferns and forest。 It had probably been raining the scent was washed out； having never set deeply into the tree。
Why would Bella have e to sit here alone and she had been alone； no doubt about that in the middle of the wet； murky forest？ It made no sense； and； unlike those other points of curiosity； I could hardly bring this up in casual conversation。 So； Bella； I was following your scent through the woods after I left your room where I d been watching you sleep Yes； that would be quite the ice breaker。 I would never know what she d been thinking and doing here； and that had my teeth grinding together in frustration。 Worse； this was far too much like the scenario I d imagined for Emmett Bella wandering alone in the woods； where her scent would call to anyone who had the senses to track it I groaned。 Not only did she have bad luck； but she courted it。 Well； for this moment she had a protector。 I would watch over her； keep her from harm； for as long as I could justify it。 I suddenly found myself wishing that Peter and Charlotte would make an extended stay。
8。 Ghost I did not see much of Jasper s guests for the two sunny days that they were in Forks。 I only went home at all so that Esme wouldn t worry。 Otherwise； my existence seemed more like that of a specter than a vampire。 I hovered； invisible in the shadows； where I could follow the object of my love and obsession where I could see her and hear her in the minds of the lucky humans who could walk through the sunlight beside her； sometimes accidentally brushing the back of her hand with their own。 She never reacted to such contact； their hands were just as warm as hers。 The enforced absence from school had never been a trial like this before。 But the sun seemed to make her happy； so I could not resent it too much。 Anything that pleased her was in my good graces。 Monday morning； I eavesdropped on a conversation that had the potential to destroy my confidence and make the time spent away from her a torture。 As it ended up； though； it rather made my day。 I had to feel some little respect for Mike Newton； he had not simply given up and slunk away to nurse his wounds。 He had more bravery than I d given him credit for。 He was going to try again。 Bella got to school quite early and； seeming intent on enjoying the sun while it lasted； sat at one of the seldom used piic benches while she waited for the first bell to ring。 Her hair caught the sun in unexpected ways； giving off a reddish shine that I had not anticipated。 Mike found her there； doodling again； and was thrilled at his good luck。 It was agonizing to only be able to watch； powerless； bound to the forest s shadows by the bright sunlight。 She greeted him with enough enthusiasm to make him ecstatic； and me the opposite。 See； she likes me。 She wouldn t smile like that if she didn t。 I bet she wanted to go to the dance with me。 Wonder what s so important in Seattle He perceived the change in her hair。 it。 I never noticed before your hair has red in I accidentally uprooted the young spruce tree my hand was resting on when he pinched a strand of her hair between his fingers。 Only in the sun； she said。 To my deep satisfaction； she cringed away from him slightly when he tucked the strand behind her ear。 It took Mike a minute to build up his courage； wasting some time on small talk。 She reminded him of the essay we all had due on Wednesday。 From the faintly smug expression on her face； hers was already done。 He d forgotten altogether； and that severely diminished his free time。 Dang stupid essay。 Finally he got to the point my teeth were clenched so hard they could have pulverized granite and even then； he couldn t make himself ask the question
outright。 I was going to ask if you wanted to go out。 Oh； she said。 There was a brief silence。 Oh？ What does that mean？ Is she going to yes？ Wait I guess I didn t really ask。 He swallowed hard。 Well； we could go to dinner or something and I could work on it later。 Stupid that wasn t a question either。 Mike The agony and fury of my jealousy was every whit as powerful as it had been last week。 I broke another tree trying to hold myself here。 I wanted so badly to race across the campus； too fast for human eyes； and snatch her up to steal her away from the boy that I hated so much in this moment I could have kill him and enjoyed it。 Would she say yes to him？ I don t think that would be the best idea。 I breathed again。 My rigid body relaxed。 Shouldn t have asked。 What was I Seattle was just an excuse； after all。 thinking？ Bet it s that freak； Cullen Why？ he asked sullenly。 I think she hesitated。 And if you ever repeat what I m saying right now I will cheerfully beat you to death I laughed out loud at the sound of a death threat ing through her lips。 shrieked； startled； and launched itself away from me。 But I think that would hurt Jessica s feelings。 Jessica？ What？ But Oh。 Okay。 I guess So Huh。 A jay His thoughts were no longer coherent。 Really； Mike； are you blind？ I echoed her sentiment。 She shouldn t expect everyone to be as perceptive as she was； but really this instance was beyond obvious。 With as much trouble as Mike had had working himself up to ask Bella out； did he imagine it wasn t just as difficult for Jessica？ It must be selfishness that made him blind to others。 she saw everything。 And Bella was so unselfish；
Jessica。 Huh。 Wow。 Huh。 Oh； he managed to say。 Bella used his confusion to make her exit。 It s time for class； and I can t be late again。 Mike became an unreliable viewpoint from then on。 He found； as he turned the idea of Jessica around and around in his head； that he rather liked the thought of her finding him attractive。 It was second place； not as good as if Bella had felt that way。 She s cute； though； I guess。 Decent body。 A bird in the hand He was off then； on to new fantasies that were just as vulgar as the ones about Bella； but now they only irritated rather than infuriated。 How little he deserved either girl； they were almost interchangeable to him。 I stayed clear of his head after that。 When she was out of sight； I curled up against the cool trunk of an enormous madrone tree and I danced from mind to mind； keeping her in sight； always glad when Angela Weber was available to look through。 I wished there was someway to thank the Weber girl for simply being a nice person。 It made me feel better to think that Bella had one friend worth having。 I watched Bella s face from whichever angle I was given； and I could see that she was sad again。 This surprised me I thought the sun would be enough to keep her smiling。 At lunch； I saw her glance time and time again toward the empty Cullen table； and that thrilled me。 It gave me hope。 Perhaps she missed me； too。 She had plans to go out with the other girls I automatically planned my own surveillance but these plans were postponed when Mike invited Jessica out on the date he d planned for Bella。 So I went straight to her home instead； doing a quick sweep of the woods to make sure no one dangerous had wandered too close。 I knew Jasper had warned his oime brother to avoid the town citing my insanity as both explanation and warning but I wasn t taking any chances。 Peter and Charlotte had no intention of causing animosity with my family； but intentions were changeable things All right； I was overdoing it。 I knew that。 As if she knew I was watching； as if she took pity on the agony I felt when I couldn t see her； Bella came out to the backyard after a long hour indoors。 She had a book in her hand and a blanket under her arm。 Silent
