简爱(英文版)-第19部分

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er　the　wood；　and　sent　a　raving　sound　through　the　air；　often　thickened　with　wild　rain　or　whirling　sleet；　and　for　the　forest　on　its　banks；　that　showed　only　ranks　of　skeletons。
April　advanced　to　May：　a　bright　serene　May　it　was；　days　of　blue　sky；　placid　sunshine；　and　soft　western　or　southern　gales　filled　up　its　duration。　And　now　vegetation　matured　with　vigour；　Lowood　shook　loose　its　tresses；　it　became　all　green；　all　flowery；　its　great　elm；　ash；　and　oak　skeletons　were　restored　to　majestic　life；　woodland　plants　sprang　up　profusely　in　its　recesses；　unnumbered　varieties　of　moss　filled　its　hollows；　and　it　made　a　strange　ground…sunshine　out　of　the　wealth　of　its　wild　primrose　plants：　I　have　seen　their　pale　gold　gleam　in　overshadowed　spots　like　scatterings　of　the　sweetest　lustre。　All　this　I　enjoyed　often　and　fully；　free；　unwatched；　and　almost　alone：　for　this　unwonted　liberty　and　pleasure　there　was　a　cause；　to　which　it　now　bees　my　task　to　advert。
Have　I　not　described　a　pleasant　site　for　a　dwelling；　when　I　speak　of　it　as　bosomed　in　hill　and　wood；　and　rising　from　the　verge　of　a　stream？　Assuredly；　pleasant　enough：　but　whether　healthy　or　not　is　another　question。
That　forest…dell；　where　Lowood　lay；　was　the　cradle　of　fog　and　fog…　bred　pestilence；　which；　quickening　with　the　quickening　spring；　crept　into　the　Orphan　Asylum；　breathed　typhus　through　its　crowded　schoolroom　and　dormitory；　and；　ere　May　arrived；　transformed　the　seminary　into　an　hospital。
Semi…starvation　and　neglected　colds　had　predisposed　most　of　the　pupils　to　receive　infection：　forty…five　out　of　the　eighty　girls　lay　ill　at　one　time。　Classes　were　broken　up；　rules　relaxed。　The　few　who　continued　well　were　allowed　almost　unlimited　license；　because　the　medical　attendant　insisted　on　the　necessity　of　frequent　exercise　to　keep　them　in　health：　and　had　it　been　otherwise；　no　one　had　leisure　to　watch　or　restrain　them。　Miss　Temple’s　whole　attention　was　absorbed　by　the　patients：　she　lived　in　the　sick…room；　never　quitting　it　except　to　snatch　a　few　hours’　rest　at　night。　The　teachers　were　fully　occupied　with　packing　up　and　making　other　necessary　preparations　for　the　departure　of　those　girls　who　were　fortunate　enough　to　have　friends　and　relations　able　and　willing　to　remove　them　from　the　seat　of　contagion。　Many；　already　smitten；　went　home　only　to　die：　some　died　at　the　school；　and　were　buried　quietly　and　quickly；　the　nature　of　the　malady　forbidding　delay。
While　disease　had　thus　bee　an　inhabitant　of　Lowood；　and　death　its　frequent　visitor；　while　there　was　gloom　and　fear　within　its　walls；　while　its　rooms　and　passages　steamed　with　hospital　smells；　the　drug　and　the　pastille　striving　vainly　to　overe　the　effluvia　of　mortality；　that　bright　May　shone　unclouded　over　the　bold　hills　and　beautiful　woodland　out　of　doors。　Its　garden；　too；　glowed　with　flowers：　hollyhocks　had　sprung　up　tall　as　trees；　lilies　had　opened；　tulips　and　roses　were　in　bloom；　the　borders　of　the　little　beds　were　gay　with　pink　thrift　and　crimson　double　daisies；　the　sweetbriars　gave　out；　morning　and　evening；　their　scent　of　spice　and　apples；　and　these　fragrant　treasures　were　all　useless　for　most　of　the　inmates　of　Lowood；　except　to　furnish　now　and　then　a　handful　of　herbs　and　blossoms　to　put　in　a　coffin。
But　I；　and　the　rest　who　continued　well；　enjoyed　fully　the　beauties　of　the　scene　and　season；　they　let　us　ramble　in　the　wood；　like　gipsies；　from　morning　till　night；　we　did　what　we　liked；　went　where　we　liked：　we　lived　better　too。　Mr。　Brocklehurst　and　his　family　never　came　near　Lowood　now：　household　matters　were　not　scrutinised　into；　the　cross　housekeeper　was　gone；　driven　away　by　the　fear　of　infection；　her　successor；　who　had　been　matron　at　the　Lowton　Dispensary；　unused　to　the　ways　of　her　new　abode；　provided　with　parative　liberality。　Besides；　there　were　fewer　to　feed；　the　sick　could　eat　little；　our　breakfast…basins　were　better　filled；　when　there　was　no　time　to　prepare　a　regular　dinner；　which　often　happened；　she　would　give　us　a　large　piece　of　cold　pie；　or　a　thick　slice　of　bread　and　cheese；　and　this　we　carried　away　with　us　to　the　wood；　where　we　each　chose　the　spot　we　liked　best；　and　dined　sumptuously。
My　favourite　seat　was　a　smooth　and　broad　stone；　rising　white　and　dry　from　the　very　middle　of　the　beck；　and　only　to　be　got　at　by　wading　through　the　water；　a　feat　I　acplished　barefoot。　The　stone　was　just　broad　enough　to　acmodate；　fortably；　another　girl　and　me；　at　that　time　my　chosen　rade—one　Mary　Ann　Wilson；　a　shrewd；　observant　personage；　whose　society　I　took　pleasure　in；　partly　because　she　was　witty　and　original；　and　partly　because　she　had　a　manner　which　set　me　at　my　ease。　Some　years　older　than　I；　she　knew　more　of　the　world；　and　could　tell　me　many　things　I　liked　to　hear：　with　her　my　curiosity　found　gratification：　to　my　faults　also　she　gave　ample　indulgence；　never　imposing　curb　or　rein　on　anything　I　said。　She　had　a　turn　for　narrative；　I　for　analysis；　she　liked　to　inform；　I　to　question；　so　we　got　on　swimmingly　together；　deriving　much　entertainment；　if　not　much　improvement；　from　our　mutual　intercourse。
And　where；　meantime；　was　Helen　Burns？　Why　did　I　not　spend　these　sweet　days　of　liberty　with　her？　Had　I　forgotten　her？　or　was　I　so　worthless　as　to　have　grown　tired　of　her　pare　society？　Surely　the　Mary　Arm　Wilson　I　have　mentioned　was　inferior　to　my　first　acquaintance：　she　could　only　tell　me　amusing　stories；　and　reciprocate　any　racy　and　pungent　gossip　I　chose　to　indulge　in；　while；　if　I　have　spoken　truth　of　Helen；　she　was　qualified　to　give　those　who　enjoyed　the　privilege　of　her　converse　a　taste　of　far　higher　things。
True；　reader；　and　I　knew　and　felt　this：　and　though　I　am　a　defective　being；　with　many　faults　and　few　redeeming　points；　yet　I　never　tired　of　Helen　Burns；　nor　ever　ceased　to　cherish　for　her　a　sentiment　of　attachment；　as　strong；　tender；　and　respectful　as　any　that　ever　animated　my　heart。　How　could　it　be　otherwise；　when　Helen；　at　all　times　and　under　all　circumstances；　evinced　for　me　a　quiet　and　faithful　friendship；　which　ill…humour　never　soured；　nor　irritation　never　troubled？　But　Helen　was　ill　at　present：　for　some　weeks　she　had　been　removed　from　my　sight　to　I　knew　not　what　room　upstairs。　She　was　not；　I　was　told；　in　the　hospital　portion　of　the　house　with　the　fever　patients；　for　her　plaint　was　consumption；　not　typhus：　and　by　consumption　I；　in　my　ignorance；　understood　something　mild；　which　time　and　care　would　be　sure　to　alleviate。
I　was　confirmed　in　this　idea　by　the　fact　of　her　once　or　twice　ing　downstairs　on　very　warm　sunny　afternoons；　and　being　taken　by　Miss　Temple　into　the　garden；　but；　on　these　occasions；　I　was　not　allowed　to　go　and　speak　to　her；　I　only　saw　her　from　the　schoolroom　window；　and　then　not　distinctly；　for　she　was　much　wrapped　up；　and　sat　at　a　distance　under　the　verandah。
One　evening；　in　the　beginning　of　June；　I　had　stayed　out　very　late　with　Mary　Ann　in　the　wood；　we　had；　as　usual；　separated　ourselves　from　the　others；　and　had　wandered　far；　so　far　that　we　lost　our　way；　and　had　to　ask　it　at　a　lonely　cottage；　where　a　man　and　woman　lived；　who　looked　after　a　herd　of　half…wild　swine　that　fed　on　the　mast　in　the　wood。　When　we　got　back；　it　was　after　moonrise：　a　pony；　which　we　knew　to　be　the　surgeon’s；　was　standing　at　the　garden　door。　Mary　Ann　remarked　that　she　supposed　some　one　must　be　very　ill；　as　Mr。　Bates　had　been　sent　for　at　that　time　of　the　evening。　She　went　into　the　house；　I　stayed　behind　a　few　minutes　to　plant　in　my　garden　a　handful　of　roots　I　had　dug　up　in　the　forest；　and　which　I　feared　would　wither　if　I　left　them　till　the　morning。　This　done；　I　lingered　yet　a　little　longer：　the　flowers　smelt　so　sweet　as　the　dew　fell；　it　was　such　a　pleasant　evening；　so　serene；　so　warm；　the　still　glowing　west　promised　so　fairly　another　fine　day　on　the　morrow；　the　moon　rose　with　such　majesty　in　the　grave　east。　I　was　noting　these　things　and　enjoying　them　as　a　child　might；　when　it　entered　my　mind　as　it　had　never　done　before：—
“How　sad　to　be　lying　now　on　a　sick　bed；　and　to　be　in　danger　of　dying！　This　world　is　pleasant—it　would　be　dreary　to　be　called　from　it；　and　to　have　to　go　who　knows　where？”
And　then　my　mind　made　its　first　earnest　effort　to　prehend　what　had　been　infused　into　it　concerning　heaven　and　hell；　and　for　the　first　time　it　recoiled；　baffled；　and　for　the　first　time　glancing　behind；　on　each　side；　and　before　it；　it　saw　all　round　an　unfathomed　gulf：　it　felt　the　one　point　where　it　stood—the　present；　all　the　rest　was　formless　cloud　and　vacant　depth；　and　it　shuddered　at　the　thought　of　tottering；　and　plunging　amid　that　chaos。　While　pondering　this　new　idea；　I　heard　the　front　door　open；　Mr。　Bates　came　out；　and　with　him　was　a　nurse。　After　she　had　seen　him　mount　his　horse　and　depart；　she　was　about　to　close　the　door；　but　I　ran　up　to　her。
“How　is　Helen　Burns？”
“Very　poorly；”　was　the　answer。
“Is　it　her　Mr。　Bates　has　been　to　see？”
“Yes。”
“And　what　does　he　say　about　her？”
“He　says　she’ll　not　be　here　long。”
This　phrase；　uttered　in　my　hearing　yesterday；　would　have　only　conveyed　the　notion　that　she　was　about　to　be　removed　to　Northumberland；　to　her　own　home。　I　should　not　have　suspected　that　it　meant　she　was　dying；　but　I　knew　instantly　now！　It　opened　clear　on　my　prehension　that　Helen　Burns　was　numbering　her　last　days　in　this　world；　and　that　she　was　going　to　be　take