简爱(英文版)-第15部分

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acpaniment　of　secret　tears；　forced　from　me　by　the　exigency　of　hunger。
Sundays　were　dreary　days　in　that　wintry　season。　We　had　to　walk　two　miles　to　Brocklebridge　Church；　where　our　patron　officiated。　We　set　out　cold；　we　arrived　at　church　colder：　during　the　morning　service　we　became　almost　paralysed。　It　was　too　far　to　return　to　dinner；　and　an　allowance　of　cold　meat　and　bread；　in　the　same　penurious　proportion　observed　in　our　ordinary　meals；　was　served　round　between　the　services。
At　the　close　of　the　afternoon　service　we　returned　by　an　exposed　and　hilly　road；　where　the　bitter　winter　wind；　blowing　over　a　range　of　snowy　summits　to　the　north；　almost　flayed　the　skin　from　our　faces。
I　can　remember　Miss　Temple　walking　lightly　and　rapidly　along　our　drooping　line；　her　plaid　cloak；　which　the　frosty　wind　fluttered；　gathered　close　about　her；　and　encouraging　us；　by　precept　and　example；　to　keep　up　our　spirits；　and　march　forward；　as　she　said；　“like　stalwart　soldiers。”　The　other　teachers；　poor　things；　were　generally　themselves　too　much　dejected　to　attempt　the　task　of　cheering　others。
How　we　longed　for　the　light　and　heat　of　a　blazing　fire　when　we　got　back！　But；　to　the　little　ones　at　least；　this　was　denied：　each　hearth　in　the　schoolroom　was　immediately　surrounded　by　a　double　row　of　great　girls；　and　behind　them　the　younger　children　crouched　in　groups；　wrapping　their　starved　arms　in　their　pinafores。
A　little　solace　came　at　tea…time；　in　the　shape　of　a　double　ration　of　bread—a　whole；　instead　of　a　half；　slice—with　the　delicious　addition　of　a　thin　scrape　of　butter：　it　was　the　hebdomadal　treat　to　which　we　all　looked　forward　from　Sabbath　to　Sabbath。　I　generally　contrived　to　reserve　a　moiety　of　this　bounteous　repast　for　myself；　but　the　remainder　I　was　invariably　obliged　to　part　with。
The　Sunday　evening　was　spent　in　repeating；　by　heart；　the　Church　Catechism；　and　the　fifth；　sixth；　and　seventh　chapters　of　St。　Matthew；　and　in　listening　to　a　long　sermon；　read　by　Miss　Miller；　whose　irrepressible　yawns　attested　her　weariness。　A　frequent　interlude　of　these　performances　was　the　enactment　of　the　part　of　Eutychus　by　some　half…dozen　of　little　girls；　who；　overpowered　with　sleep；　would　fall　down；　if　not　out　of　the　third　loft；　yet　off　the　fourth　form；　and　be　taken　up　half　dead。　The　remedy　was；　to　thrust　them　forward　into　the　centre　of　the　schoolroom；　and　oblige　them　to　stand　there　till　the　sermon　was　finished。　Sometimes　their　feet　failed　them；　and　they　sank　together　in　a　heap；　they　were　then　propped　up　with　the　monitors’　high　stools。
I　have　not　yet　alluded　to　the　visits　of　Mr。　Brocklehurst；　and　indeed　that　gentleman　was　from　home　during　the　greater　part　of　the　first　month　after　my　arrival；　perhaps　prolonging　his　stay　with　his　friend　the　archdeacon：　his　absence　was　a　relief　to　me。　I　need　not　say　that　I　had　my　own　reasons　for　dreading　his　ing：　but　e　he　did　at　last。
One　afternoon　（I　had　then　been　three　weeks　at　Lowood）；　as　I　was　sitting　with　a　slate　in　my　hand；　puzzling　over　a　sum　in　long　division；　my　eyes；　raised　in　abstraction　to　the　window；　caught　sight　of　a　figure　just　passing：　I　recognised　almost　instinctively　that　gaunt　outline；　and　when；　two　minutes　after；　all　the　school；　teachers　included；　rose　en　masse；　it　was　not　necessary　for　me　to　look　up　in　order　to　ascertain　whose　entrance　they　thus　greeted。　A　long　stride　measured　the　schoolroom；　and　presently　beside　Miss　Temple；　who　herself　had　risen；　stood　the　same　black　column　which　had　frowned　on　me　so　ominously　from　the　hearthrug　of　Gateshead。　I　now　glanced　sideways　at　this　piece　of　architecture。　Yes；　I　was　right：　it　was　Mr。　Brocklehurst；　buttoned　up　in　a　surtout；　and　looking　longer；　narrower；　and　more　rigid　than　ever。
I　had　my　own　reasons　for　being　dismayed　at　this　apparition；　too　well　I　remembered　the　perfidious　hints　given　by　Mrs。　Reed　about　my　disposition；　&c。；　the　promise　pledged　by　Mr。　Brocklehurst　to　apprise　Miss　Temple　and　the　teachers　of　my　vicious　nature。　All　along　I　had　been　dreading　the　fulfilment　of　this　promise；—I　had　been　looking　out　daily　for　the　“ing　Man；”　whose　information　respecting　my　past　life　and　conversation　was　to　brand　me　as　a　bad　child　for　ever：　now　there　he　was。
He　stood　at　Miss　Temple’s　side；　he　was　speaking　low　in　her　ear：　I　did　not　doubt　he　was　making　disclosures　of　my　villainy；　and　I　watched　her　eye　with　painful　anxiety；　expecting　every　moment　to　see　its　dark　orb　turn　on　me　a　glance　of　repugnance　and　contempt。　I　listened　too；　and　as　I　happened　to　be　seated　quite　at　the　top　of　the　room；　I　caught　most　of　what　he　said：　its　import　relieved　me　from　immediate　apprehension。
“I　suppose；　Miss　Temple；　the　thread　I　bought　at　Lowton　will　do；　it　struck　me　that　it　would　be　just　of　the　quality　for　the　calico　chemises；　and　I　sorted　the　needles　to　match。　You　may　tell　Miss　Smith　that　I　forgot　to　make　a　memorandum　of　the　darning　needles；　but　she　shall　have　some　papers　sent　in　next　week；　and　she　is　not；　on　any　account；　to　give　out　more　than　one　at　a　time　to　each　pupil：　if　they　have　more；　they　are　apt　to　be　careless　and　lose　them。　And；　O　ma’am！　I　wish　the　woollen　stockings　were　better　looked　to！—when　I　was　here　last；　I　went　into　the　kitchen…garden　and　examined　the　clothes　drying　on　the　line；　there　was　a　quantity　of　black　hose　in　a　very　bad　state　of　repair：　from　the　size　of　the　holes　in　them　I　was　sure　they　had　not　been　well　mended　from　time　to　time。”
He　paused。
“Your　directions　shall　be　attended　to；　sir；”　said　Miss　Temple。
“And；　ma’am；”　he　continued；　“the　laundress　tells　me　some　of　the　girls　have　two　clean　tuckers　in　the　week：　it　is　too　much；　the　rules　limit　them　to　one。”
“I　think　I　can　explain　that　circumstance；　sir。　Agnes　and　Catherine　Johnstone　were　invited　to　take　tea　with　some　friends　at　Lowton　last　Thursday；　and　I　gave　them　leave　to　put　on　clean　tuckers　for　the　occasion。”
Mr。　Brocklehurst　nodded。
“Well；　for　once　it　may　pass；　but　please　not　to　let　the　circumstance　occur　too　often。　And　there　is　another　thing　which　surprised　me；　I　find；　in　settling　accounts　with　the　housekeeper；　that　a　lunch；　consisting　of　bread　and　cheese；　has　twice　been　served　out　to　the　girls　during　the　past　fortnight。　How　is　this？　I　looked　over　the　regulations；　and　I　find　no　such　meal　as　lunch　mentioned。　Who　introduced　this　innovation？　and　by　what　authority？”
“I　must　be　responsible　for　the　circumstance；　sir；”　replied　Miss　Temple：　“the　breakfast　was　so　ill　prepared　that　the　pupils　could　not　possibly　eat　it；　and　I　dared　not　allow　them　to　remain　fasting　till　dinner…time。”
“Madam；　allow　me　an　instant。　You　are　aware　that　my　plan　in　bringing　up　these　girls　is；　not　to　accustom　them　to　habits　of　luxury　and　indulgence；　but　to　render　them　hardy；　patient；　self…denying。　Should　any　little　accidental　disappointment　of　the　appetite　occur；　such　as　the　spoiling　of　a　meal；　the　under　or　the　over　dressing　of　a　dish；　the　incident　ought　not　to　be　neutralised　by　replacing　with　something　more　delicate　the　fort　lost；　thus　pampering　the　body　and　obviating　the　aim　of　this　institution；　it　ought　to　be　improved　to　the　spiritual　edification　of　the　pupils；　by　encouraging　them　to　evince　fortitude　under　temporary　privation。　A　brief　address　on　those　occasions　would　not　be　mistimed；　wherein　a　judicious　instructor　would　take　the　opportunity　of　referring　to　the　sufferings　of　the　primitive　Christians；　to　the　torments　of　martyrs；　to　the　exhortations　of　our　blessed　Lord　Himself；　calling　upon　His　disciples　to　take　up　their　cross　and　follow　Him；　to　His　warnings　that　man　shall　not　live　by　bread　alone；　but　by　every　word　that　proceedeth　out　of　the　mouth　of　God；　to　His　divine　consolations；　“If　ye　suffer　hunger　or　thirst　for　My　sake；　happy　are　ye。”　Oh；　madam；　when　you　put　bread　and　cheese；　instead　of　burnt　porridge；　into　these　children’s　mouths；　you　may　indeed　feed　their　vile　bodies；　but　you　little　think　how　you　starve　their　immortal　souls！”
Mr。　Brocklehurst　again　paused—perhaps　overe　by　his　feelings。　Miss　Temple　had　looked　down　when　he　first　began　to　speak　to　her；　but　she　now　gazed　straight　before　her；　and　her　face；　naturally　pale　as　marble；　appeared　to　be　assuming　also　the　coldness　and　fixity　of　that　material；　especially　her　mouth；　closed　as　if　it　would　have　required　a　sculptor’s　chisel　to　open　it；　and　her　brow　settled　gradually　into　petrified　severity。
Meantime；　Mr。　Brocklehurst；　standing　on　the　hearth　with　his　hands　behind　his　back；　majestically　surveyed　the　whole　school。　Suddenly　his　eye　gave　a　blink；　as　if　it　had　met　something　that　either　dazzled　or　shocked　its　pupil；　turning；　he　said　in　more　rapid　accents　than　he　had　hitherto　used—
“Miss　Temple；　Miss　Temple；　what—what　is　that　girl　with　curled　hair？　Red　hair；　ma’am；　curled—curled　all　over？”　And　extending　his　cane　he　pointed　to　the　awful　object；　his　hand　shaking　as　he　did　so。
“It　is　Julia　Severn；”　replied　Miss　Temple；　very　quietly。
“Julia　Severn；　ma’am！　And　why　has　she；　or　any　other；　curled　hair？　Why；　in　defiance　of　every　precept　and　principle　of　this　house；　does　she　conform　to　the　world　so　openly—here　in　an　evangelical；　charitable　establishment—as　to　wear　her　hair　one　mass　of　curls？”
“Julia’s　hair　curls　naturally；”　returned　Miss　Temple；　still　more　quietly。
“Naturally！　Yes；　but　we　are　not　to　conform　to　nature；　I　wish　these　girls　to　be　the　children　of　Grace：　and　why　tha