the essays of montaigne, v3-第10部分

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when　setting　about　the　act　（his　thoughts　being　then　disengaged　and　free；
and　his　body　in　its　true　and　natural　estate）　he　was　at　leisure　to　cause
the　part　to　be　handled　and　communicated　to　the　knowledge　of　the　other
party；　he　was　totally　freed　from　that　vexatious　infirmity。　　After　a　man
has　once　done　a　woman　right；　he　is　never　after　in　danger　of　misbehaving
himself　with　that　person；　unless　upon　the　account　of　some　excusable
weakness。　　Neither　is　this　disaster　to　be　feared；　but　in　adventures；
where　the　soul　is　overextended　with　desire　or　respect；　and；　especially；
where　the　opportunity　is　of　an　unforeseen　and　pressing　nature；　in　those
cases；　there　is　no　means　for　a　man　to　defend　himself　from　such　a
surprise；　as　shall　put　him　altogether　out　of　sorts。　　I　have　known　some；
who　have　secured　themselves　from　this　mischance；　by　coming　half　sated
elsewhere；　purposely　to　abate　the　ardour　of　the　fury；　and　others；　who；
being　grown　old；　find　themselves　less　impotent　by　being　less　able；　and
one；　who　found　an　advantage　in　being　assured　by　a　friend　of　his；　that　he
had　a　counter…charm　of　enchantments　that　would　secure　him　from　this
disgrace。　　The　story　itself　is　not；　much　amiss；　and　therefore　you　shall
have　it。

A　Count　of　a　very　great　family；　and　with　whom　I　was　very　intimate；　being
married　to　a　fair　lady；　who　had　formerly　been　courted　by　one　who　was　at
the　wedding；　all　his　friends　were　in　very　great　fear；　but　especially　an
old　lady　his　kinswoman；　who　had　the　ordering　of　the　solemnity；　and　in
whose　house　it　was　kept；　suspecting　his　rival　would　offer　foul　play　by
these　sorceries。　　Which　fear　she　communicated　to　me。　　I　bade　her　rely
upon　me：　I　had；　by　chance；　about　me　a　certain　flat　plate　of　gold；　whereon
were　graven　some　celestial　figures；　supposed　good　against　sunstroke　or
pains　in　the　head；　being　applied　to　the　suture：　where；　that　it　might　the
better　remain　firm；　it　was　sewed　to　a　ribbon　to　be　tied　under　the　chin；　a
foppery　cousin…german　to　this　of　which　I　am　speaking。　　Jaques　Pelletier；
who　lived　in　my　house；　had　presented　this　to　me　for　a　singular　rarity。
I　had　a　fancy　to　make　some　use　of　this　knack；　and　therefore　privately
told　the　Count；　that　he　might　possibly　run　the　same　fortune　other
bridegrooms　had　sometimes　done；　especially　some　one　being　in　the　house；
who；　no　doubt；　would　be　glad　to　do　him　such　a　courtesy：　but　let　him
boldly　go　to　bed。　　For　I　would　do　him　the　office　of　a　friend；　and；　if
need　were；　would　not　spare　a　miracle　it　was　in　my　power　to　do；　provided
he　would　engage　to　me；　upon　his　honour；　to　keep　it　to　himself；　and　only；
when　they　came　to　bring　him　his　caudle；＇A　custom　in　France　to　bring　the
bridegroom　a　caudle　in　the　middle　of　the　night　on　his　wedding…night＇
if　matters　had　not　gone　well　with　him；　to　give　me　such　a　sign；　and　leave
the　rest　to　me。　　Now　he　had　had　his　ears　so　battered；　and　his　mind　so
prepossessed　with　the　eternal　tattle　of　this　business；　that　when　he　came
to't；　he　did　really　find　himself　tied　with　the　trouble　of　his
imagination；　and；　accordingly；　at　the　time　appointed；　gave　me　the　sign。
Whereupon；　I　whispered　him　in　the　ear；　that　he　should　rise；　under
pretence　of　putting　us　out　of　the　room；　and　after　a　jesting　manner　pull
my　nightgown　from　my　shoulderswe　were　of　much　about　the　same　height
throw　it　over　his　own；　and　there　keep　it　till　he　had　performed　what　I　had
appointed　him　to　do；　which　was；　that　when　we　were　all　gone　out　of　the
chamber；　he　should　withdraw　to　make　water；　should　three　times　repeat　such
and　such　words；　and　as　often　do　such　and　such　actions；　that　at　every　of
the　three　times；　he　should　tie　the　ribbon　I　put　into　his　hand　about　his
middle；　and　be　sure　to　place　the　medal　that　was　fastened　to　it；　the
figures　in　such　a　posture；　exactly　upon　his　reins；　which　being　done；　and
having　the　last　of　the　three　times　so　well　girt　and　fast　tied　the　ribbon
that　it　could　neither　untie　nor　slip　from　its　place；　let　him　confidently
return　to　his　business；　and　withal　not　forget　to　spread　my　gown　upon　the
bed；　so　that　it　might　be　sure　to　cover　them　both。　　These　ape's　tricks　are
the　main　of　the　effect；　our　fancy　being　so　far　seduced　as　to　believe　that
such　strange　means　must；　of　necessity；　proceed　from　some　abstruse
science：　their　very　inanity　gives　them　weight　and　reverence。　　And；
certain　it　is；　that　my　figures　approved　themselves　more　venereal　than
solar；　more　active　than　prohibitive。　　'Twas　a　sudden　whimsey；　mixed　with
a　little　curiosity；　that　made　me　do　a　thing　so　contrary　to　my　nature；　for
I　am　an　enemy　to　all　subtle　and　counterfeit　actions；　and　abominate　all
manner　of　trickery；　though　it　be　for　sport；　and　to　an　advantage；　for
though　the　action　may　not　be　vicious　in　itself；　its　mode　is　vicious。

Amasis；　King　of　Egypt；　having　married　Laodice；　a　very　beautiful　Greek
virgin；　though　noted　for　his　abilities　elsewhere；　found　himself　quite
another　man　with　his　wife；　and　could　by　no　means　enjoy　her；　at　which　he
was　so　enraged；　that　he　threatened　to　kill　her；　suspecting　her　to　be　a
witch。　　As　'tis　usual　in　things　that　consist　in　fancy；　she　put　him　upon
devotion；　and　having　accordingly　made　his　vows　to　Venus；　he　found　himself
divinely　restored　the　very　first　night　after　his　oblations　and
sacrifices。　　Now　women　are　to　blame　to　entertain　us　with　that　disdainful；
coy；　and　angry　countenance；　which　extinguishes　our　vigour；　as　it　kindles
our　desire；　which　made　the　daughter…in…law　of　Pythagoras＇Theano；　the
lady　in　question　was　the　wife；　not　the　daughter…in…law　of　Pythagoras。＇
say；　〃That　the　woman　who　goes　to　bed　to　a　man；　must　put　off　her　modesty
with　her　petticoat；　and　put　it　on　again　with　the　same。〃　　The　soul　of　the
assailant；　being　disturbed　with　many　several　alarms；　readily　loses　the
power　of　performance；　and　whoever　the　imagination　has　once　put　this　trick
upon；　and　confounded　with　the　shame　of　it　（and　she　never　does　it　but　at
the　first　acquaintance；　by　reason　men　are　then　more　ardent　and　eager；　and
also；　at　this　first　account　a　man　gives　of　himself；　he　is　much　more
timorous　of　miscarrying）；　having　made　an　ill　beginning；　he　enters　into
such　fever　and　despite　at　the　accident；　as　are　apt　to　remain　and　continue
with　him　upon　following　occasions。

Married　people；　having　all　their　time　before　them；　ought　never　to　compel
or　so　much　as　to　offer　at　the　feat；　if　they　do　not　find　themselves　quite
ready：　and　it　is　less　unseemly　to　fail　of　handselling　the　nuptial　sheets；
when　a　man　perceives　himself　full　of　agitation　and　trembling；　and　to
await　another　opportunity　at　more　private　and　more　composed　leisure；　than
to　make　himself　perpetually　miserable；　for　having　misbehaved　himself　and
been　baffled　at　the　first　assault。　　Till　possession　be　taken；　a　man　that
knows　himself　subject　to　this　infirmity；　should　leisurely　and　by　degrees
make　several　little　trials　and　light　offers；　without　obstinately
attempting　at　once；　to　Force　an　absolute　conquest　over　his　own　mutinous
and　indisposed　faculties。　　Such　as　know　their　members　to　be　naturally
obedient；　need　take　no　other　care　but　only　to　counterplot　their
fantasies。

The　indocile　liberty　of　this　member　is　very　remarkable；　so　importunately
unruly　in　its　tumidity　and　impatience；　when　we　do　not　require　it；　and　so
unseasonably　disobedient；　when　we　stand　most　in　need　of　it：　so
imperiously　contesting　in　authority　with　the　will；　and　with　so　much
haughty　obstinacy　denying　all　solicitation；　both　of　hand　and　mind。　　And
yet；　though　his　rebellion　is　so　universally　complained　of；　and　that　proof
is　thence　deduced　to　condemn　him；　if　he　had；　nevertheless；　feed　me　to
plead　his　cause；　I　should　peradventure；　bring　the　rest　of　his　fellow…
members　into　suspicion　of　complotting　this　mischief　against　him；　out　of
pure　envy　at　the　importance　and　pleasure　especial　to　his　employment；　and
to　have；　by　confederacy；　armed　the　whole　world　against　him；　by
malevolently　charging　him　alone；　with　their　common　offence。　　For　let　any
one　consider；　whether　there　is　any　one　part　of　our　bodies　that　does　not
often　refuse　to　perform　its　office　at　the　precept　of　the　will；　and　that
does　not　often　exercise　its　function　in　defiance　of　her　command。　　They
have　every　one　of　them　passions　of　their　own；　that　rouse　and　awaken；
stupefy　and　benumb　them；　without　our　leave　or　consent。　　How　often　do　the
involuntary　motions　of　the　countenance　discover　our　inward　thoughts；　and
betray　our　most　private　secrets　to　the　bystanders。　　The　same　cause　that
animates　this　member；　does　also；　without　our　knowledge；　animate　the
lungs；　pulse；　and　heart；　the　sight　of　a　pleasing　object　imperceptibly
diffusing　a　flame　through　all　our　parts；　with　a　feverish　motion。　　Is
there　nothing　but　these　veins　and　muscles　that　swell　and　flag　without　the
consent；　not　only　of　the　will；　but　even　of　our　knowledge　also？　　We　do　not
command　our　hairs　to　stand　on　end；　nor　our　skin　to　shiver　either　with
fear　or　desire；　the　hands　often　convey　themselves　to　parts　to　which　we　do
not　direct　them；　the　tongue　will　be　interdict；　and　the　voice　congealed；
when　we　know　not　how　to　help　it。　　When　we　have　nothing　to　eat；　and　would
willingly　forbid　it；　the　appetite　does　not；　for　all　that；　forbear　to　stir
up　the　parts　that　are　subject　to　it；　no　more　nor　less　than　the　other
appetite　we　were　speaking