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a face illumined-第91部分

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I'm very much obliged to you for the remark you made to Cousin Ik

on that occasion。〃



〃Yes; I remember;〃 Van Berg groaned。  〃I waked you up as if I were

trying to put your shoulder out of joint。  Well; I'm waking up

also。〃



〃You have no idea what a perfect sham of a life I led;〃 and she

told him frankly of her wasted school days and of her trip abroad;

for which she had no preparation of mind or character。  〃A butterfly

might have flown over the same ground and come back just as wise;〃

she said。  〃But I have suddenly entered a new world of truth

and duty; and I am bewildered; I am anxious to fit myself for the

society of sensible; cultivated people; and I am discouraged by

the task before me。  I went to father's library yesterday and was

perfectly appalled by the number of books and subjects that I know

nothing about。  The fact that I stumbled into that encyclopaedia;

which gave you the laugh against me; shows how helpless I am。

Indeed; I'm like a little child trying to find its way through a

wilderness of knowledge。  I blundered on as far as Amsterdam; and

there I stopped in despair。  I didn't know what was before me; and

I was getting everything I had been over confused and mixed up in

my mind。  And now; Mr。 Van Berg; with your thorough education and

wide experience you can tell me what to read and how to read。〃



Van Berg's face was fairly alive with interest; and he said eagerly:

〃The favor you ask suggests a far greater one on my part。  Let me

go with you through this wilderness of knowledge。  We can take up

courses of reading together。〃



At this moment Mr。 Mayhew entered; and the artist hesitated to go

on with his far…reaching offers; and; indeed; he suddenly began to

realize; with some embarrassment; how much they did  involve。



But Ida maintained her presence of mind; and said; simply:  〃That

would be impossible; though no doubt exceedingly helpful to me。

Here; as in the instance of the pictures; your good…nature and

kindness carry you far beyond what I ever dreamed of asking。  I

merely thought that in some of your moments of leisure you could

jot down some books and subjects that would be the same as if you

had pointed out smooth and shady paths。  You see; in my ignorance;

I've tried to push my way through the wilderness straight across

everything。  Last evening I pestered my father with so many questions

about politics and the topics of the day; that he thought I had

lost my wits。〃



Mr。 Mayhew leaned back in his chair and laughed heartily; as he

mentally ejaculated:  〃Well done; little girl!〃



〃I will brush up my literary ideas; and do the best I can; very

gladly;〃 said Van Berg。  〃But you greatly underrate yourself and

overrate my ability。  I am still but on the edge of this wilderness

of knowledge myself; and in crossing a wilderness one likes company。〃



〃Oh; I could never keep up with your manly strides;〃 said Ida; with

a sudden trill of laughter。  〃Having secured my wish; I shall now

reward you with some very poor music; which will suggest my need

of lessons in that direction also。〃



Van Berg was not long in discovering that she would never become a

great musician; no matter how many lessons she had。  But she played

with taste and a graceful rhythm; which proved that music in its

simplest forms might become a language by which she could express

her thought and feeling。



〃Ida;〃 said Mr。 Mayhew; a little abruptly; 〃I wish to see a friend

at the club。  I'll be back before the evening is over。〃



〃Please don't stay long;〃 Ida answered; looking wistfully after

him。



Then they found some ballad…music that they could sing together;

and Van Berg expressed great pleasure in finding how well their

voices blended。



〃You have modestly kept quite all summer; and I am just finding

out that you play and sing;〃 he said。



〃I would not have the confidence to do either at a hotel。  I shall

never be able to do any more than furnish a little simple home

music to friends; not critics。〃



〃I'm content with that arrangement; for I have finally dropped my

character of critic。〃



〃But true friends never flatter;〃 she said。  〃If you won't help me

overcome my faults I shall have to find another friend。〃



〃As you recommended an ancient woman as nurse; so I will recommend

the venerable friend you have already found; and ask you to let

him do all the fault…finding。〃



She turned to him and said earnestly:  〃Mr。 Van Berg; are you not

a sufficiently sincere friend to tell me my faults?〃



〃Yes; Miss Ida; if you ask me to。〃



〃Only as you do so can you keep my respect。〃



〃You are very much in earnest。  I never saw greater fidelity to

conscience before; and I should be very sorry if; for any cause;

your conscience were arrayed against me。〃



She suddenly buried her face in her hands and trembled。  Then

turning from him to her piano again she faltered:  〃I disregarded

conscience once and I suffered deeply;〃 and in the depths of her

soul she added; 〃and I fear I shall again。〃



〃Miss Ida;〃 he said impetuously; 〃I cannot tell you what

a fascination your new; beautiful life has for me as seen against

the dark background of memories which neither you nor I can ever

wholly banish。  But I am causing you pain now;〃 for she became very

pale; as was ever the case when there was the faintest allusion

to the awful crime which she had contemplated。  〃Forgive me;〃 he

added earnestly; 〃and sing; please; that little meadow brook song;

of which I caught a few bars last evening。  That; I think; must

contain an antidote against all morbid thoughts。〃



〃You are mistaken;〃 she said。  〃It's very silly and sentimental;

you won't like it。〃



〃Nevertheless please sing it; for if not to my taste; you will

prevent it from running in my head any longer; as it has ever since

I heard it。〃



〃You will never ask for it again;〃 she said; and she sang the

following words to a low…gliding melody designed to suggest the

murmur of a small stream:





'Twas down in a meadow; close by a brook;

A violet bloomed in a shadowy nook。

She gazed at the rill with a wistful eye…

〃He cares not for me; he's hastening by;〃

                                 She sighed。

In sunshine and shade the brook sped along;

Nor ceased for a moment his gurgling song。

〃'Twould sing all the same were I withered and dead〃…

And the blue…eyed violet bowed her head

                                 And died。



But the rill and the song went on the same

Till the pitiless frost of winter came;

When the song was hushed in an icy chill;

And the gay little brook at last stood still

                                 And thought…

〃Oh; could I now see the violet blue

that looked at me once with eyes of dew;

I'd spring to her feet and lingering stay

Till sure I was bearing her love away;

                                 Well sought。〃





The song seemed to disturb the artist somewhat。  〃The stupid brook!〃

he exclaimed。  〃It was so stupid as to be almost human。〃



〃I knew you wouldn't like it;〃 she said; looking up at him in

surprise。



〃I like your singing and the music; but that brook provokes me;

the little idiot!  Why didn't it stop before?〃



〃I take the brook's part;〃 said Ida。  〃Because the violet gazed at

it in a lackadaisical way was no reason for its stopping unless it

wanted to。  Indeed; if I were the violet I should want the brook

to go on; unless it couldn't help stopping。〃



〃It did stop when it couldn't help itself; and then it was too

late;〃 said Van Berg; with a frown。



Ida trilled out one of her sudden laughs; as she said; 〃Don't take

the matter so to heart; Mr。 Van Berg。  When spring came the brook

went on as merrily as ever; and was well contented to have other

violets look at it。〃



〃Miss Ida; you are a witch;〃 said the artist; and with an odd;

involuntary gesture he passed his hand across his brow as if to

brush away a mist or film from his mind。



〃Oh!〃 thought Ida; with passionate longing; 〃may my spells hold;

or else I may feel like following the example of the silly little

violet。〃 But she pirouetted up to her father; who was just entering;

and said: 〃It's time you came; father。  Mr。 Van berg has begun

calling me names。〃



〃I shall follow his example by calling you my good fairy。  Mr。 Van

Berg; I have been in paradise all the week。〃



〃I shall not join this mutual admiration society; and I insist that

you two gentlemen talk in a sensible way。〃



But Van Berg seemed to find it difficult to come down to

a matter…of…fact conversation with Mr。 Mayhew; and soon after took

his leave。  Before going he tried to induce Ida to come to the

studio again; but she declined; saying:



〃Mother has entrusted to me several commissions; and I must attend

to them to…morrow morning。  As it is; my conscience troubles me

very much that I have left her alone all the week; and I sha

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