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a face illumined-第54部分

小说: a face illumined 字数: 每页4000字

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for the least ray of comfort。  She now saw that she was ignorant

and exceedingly faulty。  She was ready to admit the fact that she

had acted very foolishly and unwisely; and that circumstances were

against her。  Ill…omened circumstances have brought to condemnation

and death innocent men。  Ida would not now claim that she was

innocent of blame; but events had seemed so unfortunate of late;

that she was half ready to think that some vindictive hand was

shaping them。



But she did not feel that she was now worse than she had been。

On the contrary; she had longings for a better life and a broader

culture such as she had never experienced before。  The artist's

eyes; in searching for her woman's soul; revealed to her that she

had been a fool; but now she would gladly become a woman if some

one would only point out the way。



〃Mother and Ik might learn that I am not wholly bad if they would

only take the trouble to find out;〃 she murmured。  〃Ik used to be

kind…hearted; and I thought he cared a little for me; in spite of

our sparing。  Why is he so hard on me of late?  Why can't he believe

that I am just as capable of detesting Sibley as he is?  Perhaps

he does mean to say a kind word; and give me a chance to explain。〃



These thoughts passed through her mind as she lighted the gas and

bathed her face; that she might; to some extent; remove the evidences

of grief。



Stanton misunderstood her wholly。  The new Ida; that deep feeling

and recent events were developing; was unknown to him; and he had

been too preoccupied to see the changes; even had they been more

apparent。  He did feel a sort f commiseration for her evident

suffering; for he was too kind…hearted not to sympathize even

when he believed pain to be well…deserved。  But he thought he must

still deal with her as a wayward; passionate child; as he had in

the past; when she cried till she obtained what she wished; right

or wrong。  He now believed that she was as fully bent on carrying

out her own unreasonable will; but remembered that she was no

longer a child; and might be guilty of folly that society would

not forgive as childish。  Therefore he wished to see her face; and

was disposed to be wary and observant。



He gave her a quick; keen glance as he entered and then said:



〃What's the matter; Ida?  Why do you sit here in the shadows?  It's

as dark as a pocket;〃 and he turned the gas higher。



She did not answer; but sat down with her face averted from him and

the light。  〃He has come here as a spy; and not as a comforter;〃

she thought。



He looked at her a moment; mistook her silence as an expression of

the settled obstinacy of her purpose。



〃Well; Ida;〃 he said; a little irritably; 〃I know you of old。  I

suppose you will have your own way as usual。  If we must submit;

why then we must; but you can't expect us to do so with any grace。

If you won't give up this Sibley; for heaven's sake let your mother

arrange the matter after the fashion of the day!  Out of regard

for your family; go through all the regular formalities。〃



She started violently and then leaned back in her chair as if she

were faint; and half stunned by a blow。  He regarded her manner as

evidence of guilt; or; at least; of proposed criminal imprudence

on her part; and went on still more plainly:



〃If you can't exist without Sibleywhy; marry him; but see to it

that there is a plenty of priest; altar; and service; for you know;

or you ought to; that he's a man who can't be trusted a hair's

breadth。〃



She averted her face still farther; and said in a low constrained

tone:



〃My family; then; consent that I should marry Mr。 Sibley?〃



〃No; we submit to the marriage as an odious necessity; on condition

that you put the whole matter into your mother's hands and allow

her to arrange everything according to society's requirements。〃



〃Please let me understand you;〃 she said in a lower voice。  〃My

family offer to submit to the marriage as a dire necessity lest my

relations with Mr。 Sibley cover them with a deeper shame?〃



〃Well; in plain English; yes。〃



〃It is indeed extraordinarily plain Englishbrutally plain。  And

doesdoes Mr。 Van Berg share in your estimate of me?〃



Her manner and words began to puzzle Stanton; and he remembered

the artist's question〃Are you absolutely sure that Sibley is the

cause of her trouble?〃  He thought that perhaps it might be good

policy to contrast the two men。



〃To be frank;〃 he replied; 〃I think Mr。 Van Berg has both wished

and tried to think well of you。  He admired your beauty immensely;

and sought to find something in your character that corresponded with

it。  Even after your studied rudeness to him; your open preference

of Sibley's society to his; and your remark explaining your course;

'congenial society or none at all'〃 (Ida fairly groaned as he

recalled her folly); 〃he tried to treat you politely。  That you

should refuse the society of a gentleman like my friend for the

sake of such a low fellow as Sibley; is to us all a disgusting and

fathomless mystery。  The belief that you could throw yourself and

your rare beauty into this abominable slough; was so revolting to

Van Berg; that he never would wholly accept of it until to…day。〃



She rose to her feet and turned upon him。  Her eyes were fairly

blazing with indignation; and her face was white and terrible

from her anger。  In tones such as he had never heard any woman use

before; she said:



〃But to…day you have succeeded in satisfying him that this is not

only possible; but the most natural thing for me to do。  You have

told him that my family will submit to my marriage with a loathsome

wretch; who got drunk in the presence of ladies; insulted an orphan

girl; and attempted murderand all in one Sunday afternoon。  I

suppose you thought me captivated; and carried away by such a burst

and blaze of villainy; and so my high…toned family explain to the

faultless and aristocratic Mr。 Van Berg that they will submit to

an odious marriage lest I clandestinely follow the scoundrel who

was very properly driven away; like the base cur he is。  This is

why you received me to…night as if I were a pestilence。  This is

why I was treated at the table as if I were a death's head。  This

is why your perfect friend looked towards me as if my chair

were vacant。  He refused even to recognize the existence of such

a loathsome thing as my family explain to him that I am。  Great

heaven! may I never live to receive a deeper humiliation than this!〃



〃But; Ida;〃 cried Stanton; deeply alarmed and agitated by her manner;

〃how else could we explain your action and your reckless words to

your mother?〃



〃Oh; I admit that circumstances are against me; but there is no

excuse for this outrage!  I don't know what I did say to mother。

I've been too wretched and discouraged to remember。  She IS my

mother; and I'll say nothing against her; though; heaven knows;

she has been a strange mother to me。  Would to God I had a father

that I could go to; or a brother!  But it seems I have not a friend

in the great; scornful world。  Don't interrupt me。  Words count

for nothing now; and mine least of all。  If you were all ready to

believe me capable of what you have plainly intimated; you need

something stronger than words to convince you to the contrary。  Of

one thing I shall make sureyou and your faithless friend shall

never have the chance to insult me again。  I wish you to leave my

room。〃



〃Oh come; Ida; listen to reason;〃 Stanton began coaxingly。



〃I admitted you;〃 she interrupted with a repellant gesture; 〃in

the hope of receiving a little kindness; for which I was famishing;

but I would rather you had stabbed me than have said what you have。

Hush; not a word more。  The brutal wrong has been done。  Will you

not go?  This is my private apartment。  I command you to leave

it; and if you will not obey I will summon Mr。 Burleigh;〃 and she

placed her hand on the bell。



Her manner was at once so commanding and threatening that Stanton;

with a gesture of deprecation and protest; silently obeyed。



He was so surprised and unnerved by the interview in which the

maiden had turned upon him with a fiery indignation that was almost

volcanic; that he wished to think the affair all over and regain

his composure before meeting any one。  Clearly they had failed to

understand Ida of late; and had misjudged her utterly。  And yet;

guided by appearances; he felt that they could scarcely have come

to any other conclusion。



Now that he had been jostled out of his preoccupation; he began to

realize that Ida had not appeared of late like the frivolous girl

that had accompanied him to the country。  Changes were taking

place in her as well as in himself; 〃but not from the same cause;〃

he thought。  〃After her words and manner to…night; I cannot doubt

that Sibley has disgusted her as well as the rest of us; although

she had 

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