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〃Well；　Minoret；　what　do　you　say　to　the　conversion　of　your　uncle？〃

cried　the　tax…collector　of　Nemours；　named　Cremiere。



〃What　do　you　expect　me　to　say？〃　replied　the　post　master；　offering　him

a　pinch　of　snuff。



〃Well　answered；　Pere　Levrault。　You　can't　say　what　you　think；　if　it　is

true；　as　an　illustrious　author　says　it　is；　that　a　man　must　think　his

words　before　he　speaks　his　thoughts；〃　cried　a　young　man；　standing

near；　who　played　the　part　of　Mephistopheles　in　the　little　town。



This　ill…conditioned　youth；　named　Goupil；　was　head　clerk　to　Monsieur

Cremiere…Dionis；　the　Nemours　notary。　Notwithstanding　a　past　conduct

that　was　almost　debauched；　Dionis　had　taken　Goupil　into　his　office

when　a　career　in　Pariswhere　the　clerk　had　wasted　all　the　money　he

inherited　from　his　father；　a　well…to…do　farmer；　who　educated　him　for　a

notarywas　brought　to　a　close　by　his　absolute　pauperism。　The　mere

sight　of　Goupil　told　an　observer　that　he　had　made　haste　to　enjoy　life；

and　had　paid　dear　for　his　enjoyments。　Though　very　short；　his　chest　and

shoulders　were　developed　at　twenty…seven　years　of　age　like　those　of　a

man　of　forty。　Legs　small　and　weak；　and　a　broad　face；　with　a　cloudy

complexion　like　the　sky　before　a　storm；　surmounted　by　a　bald　forehead；

brought　out　still　further　the　oddity　of　his　conformation。　His　face

seemed　as　though　it　belonged　to　a　hunchback　whose　hunch　was　inside　of

him。　One　singularity　of　that　pale　and　sour　visage　confirmed　the

impression　of　an　invisible　gobbosity；　the　nose；　crooked　and　out　of

shape　like　those　of　many　deformed　persons；　turned　from　right　to　left

of　the　face　instead　of　dividing　it　down　the　middle。　The　mouth；

contracted　at　the　corners；　like　that　of　a　Sardinian；　was　always　on　the

qui　vive　of　irony。　His　hair；　thin　and　reddish；　fell　straight；　and

showed　the　skull　in　many　places。　His　hands；　coarse　and　ill…joined　at

the　wrists　to　arms　that　were　far　too　long；　were　quick…fingered　and

seldom　clean。　Goupil　wore　boots　only　fit　for　the　dust…heap；　and　raw

silk　stockings　now　of　a　russet　black；　his　coat　and　trousers；　all

black；　and　threadbare　and　greasy　with　dirt；　his　pitiful　waistcoat　with

half　the　button…moulds　gone；　an　old　silk　handkerchief　which　served　as

a　cravatin　short；　all　his　clothing　revealed　the　cynical　poverty　to

which　his　passions　had　reduced　him。　This　combination　of　disreputable

signs　was　guarded　by　a　pair　of　eyes　with　yellow　circles　round　the

pupils；　like　those　of　a　goat；　both　lascivious　and　cowardly。　No　one　in

Nemours　was　more　feared　nor；　in　a　way；　more　deferred　to　than　Goupil。

Strong　in　the　claims　made　for　him　by　his　very　ugliness；　he　had　the

odious　style　of　wit　peculiar　to　men　who　allow　themselves　all　license；

and　he　used　it　to　gratify　the　bitterness　of　his　life…long　envy。　He

wrote　the　satirical　couplets　sung　during　the　carnival；　organized

charivaris；　and　was　himself　a　〃little　journal〃　of　the　gossip　of　the

town。　Dionis；　who　was　clever　and　insincere；　and　for　that　reason　timid；

kept　Goupil　as　much　through　fear　as　for　his　keen　mind　and　thorough

knowledge　of　all　the　interests　of　the　town。　But　the　master　so

distrusted　his　clerk　that　he　himself　kept　the　accounts；　refused　to　let

him　live　in　his　house；　held　him　at　arm's　length；　and　never　confided

any　secret　or　delicate　affair　to　his　keeping。　In　return　the　clerk

fawned　upon　the　notary；　hiding　his　resentment　at　this　conduct；　and

watching　Madame　Dionis　in　the　hope　that　he　might　get　his　revenge

there。　Gifted　with　a　ready　mind　and　quick　comprehension　he　found　work

easy。



〃You！〃　exclaimed　the　post　master　to　the　clerk；　who　stood　rubbing　his

hands；　〃making　game　of　our　misfortunes　already？〃



As　Goupil　was　known　to　have　pandered　to　Dionis'　passions　for　the　last

five　years；　the　post　master　treated　him　cavalierly；　without　suspecting

the　hoard　of　ill…feeling　he　was　piling　up　in　Goupil's　heart　with　every

fresh　insult。　The　clerk；　convinced　that　money　was　more　necessary　to

him　than　it　was　to　others；　and　knowing　himself　superior　in　mind　to　the

whole　bourgeoisie　of　Nemours；　was　now　counting　on　his　intimacy　with

Minoret's　son　Desire　to　obtain　the　means　of　buying　one　or　the　other　of

three　town　offices；that　of　clerk　of　the　court；　or　the　legal　practice

of　one　of　the　sheriffs；　or　that　of　Dionis　himself。　For　this　reason　he

put　up　with　the　affronts　of　the　post　master　and　the　contempt　of　Madame

Minoret…Levrault；　and　played　a　contemptible　part　towards　Desire；

consoling　the　fair　victims　whom　that　youth　left　behind　him　after　each

vacation；devouring　the　crumbs　of　the　loaves　he　had　kneaded。



〃If　I　were　the　nephew　of　a　rich　old　fellow；　he　never　would　have　given

God　to　ME　for　a　co…heir；〃　retorted　Goupil；　with　a　hideous　grin　which

exhibited　his　teethfew；　black；　and　menacing。



Just　then　Massin…Levrault；　junior；　the　clerk　of　the　court；　joined　his

wife；　bringing　with　him　Madame　Cremiere；　the　wife　of　the　tax…collector

of　Nemours。　This　man；　one　of　the　hardest　natures　of　the　little　town；

had　the　physical　characteristics　of　a　Tartar：　eyes　small　and　round　as

sloes　beneath　a　retreating　brow；　crimped　hair；　an　oily　skin；　huge　ears

without　any　rim；　a　mouth　almost　without　lips；　and　a　scanty　beard。　He

spoke　like　a　man　who　was　losing　his　voice。　To　exhibit　him　thoroughly

it　is　enough　to　say　that　he　employed　his　wife　and　eldest　daughter　to

serve　his　legal　notices。



Madame　Cremiere　was　a　stout　woman；　with　a　fair　complexion　injured　by

red　blotches；　always　too　tightly　laced；　intimate　with　Madame　Dionis；

and　supposed　to　be　educated　because　she　read　novels。　Full　of

pretensions　to　wit　and　elegance；　she　was　awaiting　her　uncle's　money　to

〃take　a　certain　stand；〃　decorate　her　salon；　and　receive　the

bourgeoisie。　At　present　her　husband　denied　her　Carcel　lamps；

lithographs；　and　all　the　other　trifles　the　notary's　wife　possessed。

She　was　excessively　afraid　of　Goupil；　who　caught　up　and　retailed　her

〃slapsus…linquies〃　as　she　called　them。　One　day　Madame　Dionis　chanced

to　ask　what　〃Eau〃　she　thought　best　for　the　teeth。



〃Try　opium；〃　she　replied。



Nearly　all　the　collateral　heirs　of　old　Doctor　Minoret　were　now

assembled　in　the　square；　the　importance　of　the　event　which　brought

them　was　so　generally　felt　that　even　groups　of　peasants；　armed　with

their　scarlet　umbrellas　and　dressed　in　those　brilliant　colors　which

make　them　so　picturesque　on　Sundays　and　fete…days；　stood　by；　with

their　eyes　fixed　on　the　frightened　heirs。　In　all　little　towns　which

are　midway　between　large　villages　and　cities　those　who　do　not　go　to

mass　stand　about　in　the　square　or　market…place。　Business　is　talked

over。　In　Nemours　the　hour　of　church　service　was　a　weekly　exchange；　to

which　the　owners　of　property　scattered　over　a　radius　of　some　miles

resorted。



〃Well；　how　would　you　have　prevented　it？〃　said　the　post　master　to

Goupil　in　reply　to　his　remark。



〃I　should　have　made　myself　as　important　to　him　as　the　air　he　breathes。

But　from　the　very　first　you　failed　to　get　hold　of　him。　The　inheritance

of　a　rich　uncle　should　be　watched　as　carefully　as　a　pretty　womanfor

want　of　proper　care　they'll　both　escape　you。　If　Madame　Dionis　were

here　she　could　tell　you　how　true　that　comparison　is。〃



〃But　Monsieur　Bongrand　has　just　told　me　there　is　nothing　to　worry

about；〃　said　Massin。



〃Oh！　there　are　plenty　of　ways　of　saying　that！〃　cried　Goupil；

laughing。　〃I　would　like　to　have　heard　your　sly　justice　of　the　peace

say　it。　If　there　is　nothing　to　be　done；　if　he；　being　intimate　with

your　uncle；　knows　that　all　is　lost；　the　proper　thing　for　him　to　say　to

you　is；　'Don't　be　worried。'〃



As　Goupil　spoke；　a　satirical　smile　overspread　his　face；　and　gave　such

meaning　to　his　words　that　the　other　heirs　began　to　feel　that　Massin

had　let　Bongrand　deceive　him。　The　tax…collector；　a　fat　little　man；　as

insignificant　as　a　tax…collector　should　be；　and　as　much　of　a　cipher　as

a　clever　woman　could　wish；　hereupon　annihilated　his　co…heir；　Massin；

with　the　words：〃Didn't　I　tell　you　so？〃



Tricky　people　always　attribute　trickiness　to　others。　Massin　therefore

looked　askance　at　Monsieur　Bongrand；　the　justice　of　the　peace；　who　was

at　that　moment　talking　near　the　door　of　the　church　with　the　Marquis　du

Rouvre；　a　former　client。



〃If　I　were　sure　of　it！〃　he　said。



〃You　could　neutralize　the　protection　he　is　now　giving　to　the　Marquis

du　Rouvre；　who　is　threatened　with　arrest。　Don't　you　see　how　Bongrand

is　sprinkling　him　with　advice？〃　said　Goupil；　slipping　an　idea　of

retaliation　into　Massin's　mind。　〃But　you　had　better　go　easy　with　your

chief；　he's　a　clever　old　fellow；　he　might　use　his　influence　with　your

uncle　and　persuade　him　not　to　leave　everything　to　the　church。〃



〃Pooh！　we　sha'n't　die　of　it；〃　said　Minoret…Levrault；　opening　his

enormous　snuff…box。



〃You　won't　live　of　it；　either；〃　said　Goupil；　making　the　two　women

tremble。　More　quick…witted　than　their　husbands；　they　saw　the

privations　this　loss　of　inheritance　（so　long　counted　on　for　many

comforts）　would　be　to　them。　〃However；〃　added　Goupil；　〃we'll　dr