winesburg,ohio-第33部分

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He　it　was　who　had　put　the　expression　regarding　being　〃laundered〃　into　the　mouth　of　his　former　employer。　　When　excited　or　surprised　by　any…　thing　he　smiled　vaguely　and　muttered：　〃I'll　be　washed　and　ironed。　　Well；　well；　I'll　be　washed　and　ironed　and　starched。〃

When　the　half…witted　old　man　left　his　husking　of　corn　and　came　into　the　wood　to　meet　Elmer　Cowley；　he　was　neither　surprised　nor　especially　interested　in　the　sudden　appearance　of　the　young　man。　　His　feet　also　were　cold　and　he　sat　on　the　log　by　the　fire；　grateful　for　the　warmth　and　apparently　indifferent　to　what　Elmer　had　to　say。

Elmer　talked　earnestly　and　with　great　freedom；　walking　up　and　down　and　waving　his　arms　about。　〃You　don't　understand　what's　the　matter　with　me　so　of　course　you　don't　care；〃　he　declared。　　〃With　me　it's　different。　　Look　how　it　has　always　been　with　me。　Father　is　queer　and　mother　was　queer；　too。　　Even　the　clothes　mother　used　to　wear　were　not　like　other　people's　clothes；　and　look　at　that　coat　in　which　fa…　ther　goes　about　there　in　town；　thinking　he's　dressed　up；　too。　　Why　don't　he　get　a　new　one？　It　wouldn't　cost　much。　　I'll　tell　you　why。　　Father　doesn't　know　and　when　mother　was　alive　she　didn't　know　either。　Mabel　is　different。　　She　knows　but　she　won't　say　anything。　　I　will；　though。　　I'm　not　going　to　be　stared　at　any　longer。　　Why　look　here；　Mook；　father　doesn't　know　that　his　store　there　in　town　is　just　a　queer　jumble；　that　he'll　never　sell　the　stuff　he　buys。　　He　knows　nothing　about　it。　　Sometimes　he's　a　little　wor…　ried　that　trade　doesn't　come　and　then　he　goes　and　buys　something　else。　　In　the　evenings　he　sits　by　the　fire　upstairs　and　says　trade　will　come　after　a　while。　He　isn't　worried。　　He's　queer。　　He　doesn't　know　enough　to　be　worried。〃

The　excited　young　man　became　more　excited。　　〃He　don't　know　but　I　know；〃　he　shouted；　stopping　to　gaze　down　into　the　dumb；　unresponsive　face　of　the　half…wit。　　〃I　know　too　well。　　I　can't　stand　it。　　When　we　lived　out　here　it　was　different。　　I　worked　and　at　night　I　went　to　bed　and　slept。　　I　wasn't　always　seeing　people　and　thinking　as　I　am　now。　　In　the　evening；　there　in　town；　I　go　to　the　post　office　or　to　the　depot　to　see　the　train　come　in；　and　no　one　says　anything　to　me。　　Everyone　stands　around　and　laughs　and　they　talk　but　they　say　nothing　to　me。　　Then　I　feel　so　queer　that　I　can't　talk　either。　　I　go　away。　　I　don't　say　any…　thing。　　I　can't。〃

The　fury　of　the　young　man　became　uncontrollable。　〃I　won't　stand　it；〃　he　yelled；　looking　up　at　the　bare　branches　of　the　trees。　　〃I'm　not　made　to　stand　it。〃

Maddened　by　the　dull　face　of　the　man　on　the　log　by　the　fire；　Elmer　turned　and　glared　at　him　as　he　had　glared　back　along　the　road　at　the　town　of　Winesburg。　　〃Go　on　back　to　work；〃　he　screamed。　〃What　good　does　it　do　me　to　talk　to　you？〃　A　thought　came　to　him　and　his　voice　dropped。　　〃I'm　a　coward　too；　eh？〃　he　muttered。　　〃Do　you　know　why　I　came　clear　out　here　afoot？　I　had　to　tell　someone　and　you　were　the　only　one　I　could　tell。　　I　hunted　out　another　queer　one；　you　see。　　I　ran　away；　that's　what　I　did。　　I　couldn't　stand　up　to　someone　like　that　George　Willard。　　I　had　to　come　to　you。　　I　ought　to　tell　him　and　I　will。〃

Again　his　voice　arose　to　a　shout　and　his　arms　flew　about。　　〃I　will　tell　him。　　I　won't　be　queer。　　I　don't　care　what　they　think。　　I　won't　stand　it。〃

Elmer　Cowley　ran　out　of　the　woods　leaving　the　half…wit　sitting　on　the　log　before　the　fire。　　Presently　the　old　man　arose　and　climbing　over　the　fence　went　back　to　his　work　in　the　corn。　　〃I'll　be　washed　and　ironed　and　starched；〃　he　declared。　　〃Well；　well；　I'll　be　washed　and　ironed。〃　Mook　was　interested。　　He　went　along　a　lane　to　a　field　where　two　cows　stood　nibbling　at　a　straw　stack。　　〃Elmer　was　here；〃　he　said　to　the　cows。　　〃Elmer　is　crazy。　　You　better　get　behind　the　stack　where　he　don't　see　you。　　He'll　hurt　some…　one　yet；　Elmer　will。〃

At　eight　o'clock　that　evening　Elmer　Cowley　put　his　head　in　at　the　front　door　of　the　office　of　the　Winesburg　Eagle　where　George　Willard　sat　writing。　His　cap　was　pulled　down　over　his　eyes　and　a　sullen　determined　look　was　on　his　face。　　〃You　come　on　out…　side　with　me；〃　he　said；　stepping　in　and　closing　the　door。　　He　kept　his　hand　on　the　knob　as　though　pre…　pared　to　resist　anyone　else　coming　in。　　〃You　just　come　along　outside。　　I　want　to　see　you。〃

George　Willard　and　Elmer　Cowley　walked　through　the　main　street　of　Winesburg。　　The　night　was　cold　and　George　Willard　had　on　a　new　overcoat　and　looked　very　spruce　and　dressed　up。　　He　thrust　his　hands　into　the　overcoat　pockets　and　looked　inquir…　ingly　at　his　companion。　　He　had　long　been　wanting　to　make　friends　with　the　young　merchant　and　find　out　what　was　in　his　mind。　　Now　he　thought　he　saw　a　chance　and　was　delighted。　　〃I　wonder　what　he's　up　to？　Perhaps　he　thinks　he　has　a　piece　of　news　for　the　paper。　　It　can't　be　a　fire　because　I　haven't　heard　the　fire　bell　and　there　isn't　anyone　running；〃　he　thought。

In　the　main　street　of　Winesburg；　on　the　cold　No…　vember　evening；　but　few　citizens　appeared　and　these　hurried　along　bent　on　getting　to　the　stove　at　the　back　of　some　store。　　The　windows　of　the　stores　were　frosted　and　the　wind　rattled　the　tin　sign　that　hung　over　the　entrance　to　the　stairway　leading　to　Doctor　Welling's　office。　　Before　Hern's　Grocery　a　bas…　ket　of　apples　and　a　rack　filled　with　new　brooms　stood　on　the　sidewalk。　　Elmer　Cowley　stopped　and　stood　facing　George　Willard。　　He　tried　to　talk　and　his　arms　began　to　pump　up　and　down。　　His　face　worked　spasmodically。　　He　seemed　about　to　shout。　　〃Oh；　you　go　on　back；〃　he　cried。　　〃Don't　stay　out　here　with　me。　I　ain't　got　anything　to　tell　you。　　I　don't　want　to　see　you　at　all。〃

For　three　hours　the　distracted　young　merchant　wandered　through　the　resident　streets　of　Winesburg　blind　with　anger；　brought　on　by　his　failure　to　declare　his　determination　not　to　be　queer。　　Bitterly　the　sense　of　defeat　settled　upon　him　and　he　wanted　to　weep。　After　the　hours　of　futile　sputtering　at　nothingness　that　had　occupied　the　afternoon　and　his　failure　in　the　presence　of　the　young　reporter；　he　thought　he　could　see　no　hope　of　a　future　for　himself。

And　then　a　new　idea　dawned　for　him。　　In　the　dark…　ness　that　surrounded　him　he　began　to　see　a　light。　Going　to　the　now　darkened　store；　where　Cowley　&　Son　had　for　over　a　year　waited　vainly　for　trade　to　come；　he　crept　stealthily　in　and　felt　about　in　a　barrel　that　stood　by　the　stove　at　the　rear。　　In　the　barrel　beneath　shavings　lay　a　tin　box　containing　Cowley　&　Son's　cash。　　Every　evening　Ebenezer　Cowley　put　the　box　in　the　barrel　when　he　closed　the　store　and　went　upstairs　to　bed。　　〃They　wouldn't　never　think　of　a　careless　place　like　that；〃　he　told　himself；　thinking　of　robbers。

Elmer　took　twenty　dollars；　two　ten…dollar　bills；　from　the　little　roll　containing　perhaps　four　hundred　dollars；　the　cash　left　from　the　sale　of　the　farm。　　Then　replacing　the　box　beneath　the　shavings　he　went　qui…　etly　out　at　the　front　door　and　walked　again　in　the　streets。

The　idea　that　he　thought　might　put　an　end　to　all　of　his　unhappiness　was　very　simple。　　〃I　will　get　out　of　here；　run　away　from　home；〃　he　told　himself。　　He　knew　that　a　local　freight　train　passed　through　Winesburg　at　midnight　and　went　on　to　Cleveland；　where　it　arrived　at　dawn。　　He　would　steal　a　ride　on　the　local　and　when　he　got　to　Cleveland　would　lose　himself　in　the　crowds　there。　　He　would　get　work　in　some　shop　and　become　friends　with　the　other　workmen　and　would　be　indistinguishable。　　Then　he　could　talk　and　laugh。　　He　would　no　longer　be　queer　and　would　make　friends。　　Life　would　begin　to　have　warmth　and　meaning　for　him　as　it　had　for　others。

The　tall　awkward　young　man；　striding　through　the　streets；　laughed　at　himself　because　he　had　been　angry　and　had　been　half　afraid　of　George　Willard。　He　decided　he　would　have　his　talk　with　the　young　reporter　before　he　left　town；　that　he　would　tell　him　about　things；　perhaps　challenge　him；　challenge　all　of　Winesburg　through　him。

Aglow　with　new　confidence　Elmer　went　to　the　office　of　the　New　Willard　House　and　pounded　on　the　door。　　A　sleep…eyed　boy　slept　on　a　cot　in　the　office。　　He　received　no　salary　but　was　fed　at　the　hotel　table　and　bore　with　pride　the　title　of　〃night　clerk。〃　Before　the　boy　Elmer　was　bold；　insistent。　　〃You　'wake　him　up；〃　he　commanded。　　〃You　tell　him　to　come　down　by　the　depot。　　I　got　to　see　him　and　I'm　going　away　on　the　local。　　Tell　him　to　dress　and　come　on　down。　　I　ain't　got　much　time。〃

The　midnight　local　had　finished　its　work　in　Wines…　burg　and　the　trainsmen　were　coupling　cars；　swing…　ing　lanterns　and　preparing　to　resume　their　flight　east。　　George　Willard；　rubbing　his　eyes　and　again　wearing　the　new　overcoat；　ran　down　to　the　station　platform　afire　with　curiosity。　　〃Well；　here　I　am。　　What　do　you　want？　You've　got　something　to　tell　me；　eh？〃　he　said。

Elmer　tried　to　explain。　　He　wet　his　lips　with　his　tongue　and　looked　at　the　train　that　had　begun　to　groan　and　get　under　way。　　〃Well；　you　see；〃　he　began；　and　then　lost　control　of　his　tongue。　　〃I'll　be　washed　and　ironed。　　I'll　be　washed　and　ironed　and　starched；〃　he　muttered　half　incoherently。

Elmer　Cowley　danced　with　fury　beside　the　groan…　ing　train　in　the　darkness　on　the　station　platform。　Lights　leaped　into　the　air　and　bobbed　up　and　down　before　his　eyes。　　Taking　the　two　ten…dollar　bills　from　his　pocket　he　thrust　them　in