sense and sensibility(理智与情感)-第70部分
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and exultation to listen to again and again。—I have known myself
to be divided from Edward for ever； without hearing one
circumstance that could make me less desire the connection。—
Nothing has proved him unworthy； nor has anything declared him
indifferent to me。—I have had to contend against the unkindness
of his sister； and the insolence of his mother； and have suffered the
punishment of an attachment； without enjoying its advantages。—
And all this has been going on at a time； when； as you know too
well； it has not been my only unhappiness。—If you can think me
capable of ever feeling—surely you may suppose that I have
suffered now。 The composure of mind with which I have brought
myself at present to consider the matter； the consolation that I
have been willing to admit； have been the effect of constant and
painful exertion；—they did not spring up of themselves；—they did
not occur to relieve my spirits at first。—No； Marianne。—Then； if I
had not been bound to silence； perhaps nothing could have kept
me entirely—not even what I owed to my dearest friends—from
openly shewing that I was very unhappy。”—
Marianne was quite subdued。—
“Oh！ Elinor；” she cried； “you have made me hate myself for
ever。—How barbarous have I been to you！—you； who have been
my only comfort； who have borne with me in all my misery； who
have seemed to be only suffering for me！—Is this my gratitude？—
Is this the only return I can make you？—Because your merit cries
out upon myself； I have been trying to do it away。”
The tenderest caresses followed this confession。 In such a
frame of mind as she was now in； Elinor had no difficulty in
obtaining from her whatever promise she required； and at her
request； Marianne engaged never to speak of the affair to any one
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with the least appearance of bitterness；—to meet Lucy without
betraying the smallest increase of dislike to her；—and even to see
Edward himself； if chance should bring them together； without
any diminution of her usual cordiality。—These were great
concessions；—but where Marianne felt that she had injured； no
reparation could be too much for her to make。
She performed her promise of being discreet； to admiration。—
She attended to all that Mrs。 Jennings had to say upon the subject；
with an unchanging complexion； dissented from her in nothing；
and was heard three times to say； “Yes； ma’am。”—She listened to
her praise of Lucy with only moving from one chair to another；
and when Mrs。 Jennings talked of Edward’s affection； it cost her
only a spasm in her throat。—Such advances towards heroism in
her sister； made Elinor feel equal to any thing herself。
The next morning brought a farther trial of it； in a visit from
their brother； who came with a most serious aspect to talk over the
dreadful affair； and bring them news of his wife。
“You have heard； I suppose；” said he with great solemnity； as
soon as he was seated； “of the very shocking discovery that took
place under our roof yesterday。”
They all looked their assent； it seemed too awful a moment for
speech。
“Your sister；” he continued； “has suffered dreadfully。 Mrs。
Ferrars too—in short it has been a scene of such complicated
distress—but I will hope that the storm may be weathered without
our being any of us quite overcome。 Poor Fanny！ she was in
hysterics all yesterday。 But I would not alarm you too much。
Donavan says there is nothing materially to be apprehended； her
constitution is a good one； and her resolution equal to any thing。
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She has borne it all； with the fortitude of an angel！ She says she
never shall think well of anybody again； and one cannot wonder at
it； after being so deceived！—meeting with such ingratitude； where
so much kindness had been shewn； so much confidence had been
placed！ It was quite out of the benevolence of her heart； that she
had asked these young women to her house； merely because she
thought they deserved some attention； were harmless； well…
behaved girls； and would be pleasant companions； for otherwise
we both wished very much to have invited you and Marianne to be
with us； while your kind friend there； was attending her daughter。
And now to be so rewarded！ ‘I wish； with all my heart；’ says poor
Fanny in her affectionate way； ‘that we had asked your sisters
instead of them。’”
Here he stopped to be thanked； which being done； he went on。
“What poor Mrs。 Ferrars suffered； when first Fanny broke it to
her； is not to be described。 While she with the truest affection had
been planning a most eligible connection for him； was it to be
supposed that he could be all the time secretly engaged to another
person！—such a suspicion could never have entered her head！ If
she suspected any prepossession elsewhere； it could not be in that
quarter。 ‘There； to be sure；’ said she； ‘I might have thought myself
safe。’ She was quite in an agony。 We consulted together； however；
as to what should be done； and at last she determined to send for
Edward。 He came。 But I am sorry to relate what ensued。 All that
Mrs。 Ferrars could say to make him put an end to the engagement；
assisted too as you may well suppose by my arguments； and
Fanny’s entreaties； was of no avail。 Duty； affection； every thing
was disregarded。 I never thought Edward so stubborn； so
unfeeling before。 His mother explained to him her liberal designs；
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in case of his marrying Miss Morton； told him she would settle on
him the Norfolk estate； which； clear of land…tax； brings in a good
thousand a…year； offered even； when matters grew desperate； to
make it twelve hundred； and in opposition to this； if he still
persisted in this low connection； represented to him the certain
penury that must attend the match。 His own two thousand pounds
she protested should be his all； she would never see him again；
and so far would she be from affording him the smallest
assistance； that if he were to enter into any profession with a view
of better support； she would do all in her power to prevent him
advancing in it。”
Here Marianne； in an ecstasy of indignation； clapped her hands
together； and cried； “Gracious God！ can this be possible！”
“Well may you wonder； Marianne；” replied her brother； “at the
obstinacy which could resist such arguments as these。 Your
exclamation is very natural。”
Marianne was going to retort； but she remembered her
promises； and forbore。
“All this； however；” he continued； “was urged in vain。 Edward
said very little； but what he did say； was in the most determined
manner。 Nothing should prevail on him to give up his
engagement。 He would stand to it； cost him what it might。”
“Then；” cried Mrs。 Jennings with blunt sincerity； no longer able
to be silent； “he has acted like an honest man！ I beg your pardon；
Mr。 Dashwood； but if he had done otherwise； I should have
thought him a rascal。 I have some little concern in the business； as
well as yourself； for Lucy Steele is my cousin； and I believe there is
not a better kind of girl in the world； nor one who more deserves a
good husband。”
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Jane Austen： Sense and Sensibility 2
