interlude(玛丽罗茨莱因哈特惊人的幕间表演)-第40部分
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mercy； and； God knows； wherever I am I shall have need of you。〃
He had the letter in the pocket of his tunic； and at last the moment
came when the boat must leave。 Suddenly Henri knew that he could not
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allow her to cross to England alone。 The last few days had brought many
stories of submarine attacks。 Here； so far north； the Germans were
particularly active。 They had for a long time lurked in waiting for this
British Admiralty boat； with its valuable cargo； its officers and the
government oflicials who used it。
〃Good…by； Henri；〃 said Sara Lee。 〃I … of course it is no use to try to tell
you …〃
〃I am going across with you。〃
But …〃
〃I allowed you to come over alone。 I shiver when I think of it。 I shall
take you back myself。〃
〃Is it very dangerous？〃
〃Probably not。 But can you think of me standing safe on that quay and
letting you go into danger alone？〃
〃I am not afraid。〃
〃I know that。 I have never seen you afraid。 But if you wish to see a
coward； look at me。 I am a coward for you。〃
He put his hand into his pocket。 It occurred to him to give her the letter
now so that if anything happened she would at least have had it。 He
wanted no mistake about that appointment beyond the stars。 But the great
world of eternity was very large； and they must have a definite
understanding about that meeting at the little house of mercy Over There。
Perhaps he had a little fever that day。 He was alternately flushed and
pale； and certainly he was not quite rational。 His hand shook as he brought
out her letter … and with it the other letter； from the Front。
〃Have you the time to come with me？〃 Sara Lee asked doubtfully。 〃I
want you to come； of course； but if your work will suffer …〃
He held out his letter to her。
〃I shall go away；〃 he said； 〃while you read it。 And perhaps you will not
destroy it； because … I should like to feel that you have it always。〃
He went away at once； saluting as he passed other officers； who
gravely saluted him。 On the deck of the hospital ship the invalid touched
his cap。 Word was going about； in the stealthy manner of such things； that
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Henri whose family name we may not know； was a brave man and doing
brave things。
The steamer had not yet cast off。 As usual； it was to take a flying start
from the harbor； for it was just outside the harbor that the wolves of the
sea lay in wait。 Henri； alone at last； opened his letter； and stood staring at it。
There was again movement behind the German line； a matter to be looked
into； as only he could do it。 Probably nothing； as before； but who could
say？
Henri looked along the shore to where but a few miles away lay the
ragged remnant of his country。 And he looked forward to where Sara Lee；
his letter in her hand； was staring blindly at nothing。 Then he looked out
toward the sea； where lay who knew what dangers of death and suffering。
After that first moment of indecision he never hesitated。 He stood on
the deck and watched； rather frozen and rigid； and with a mind that had
ceased working； while the steamer warped out from the quay。 If in his
subconsciousness there was any thought it was doubtless that he had done
his best for a long time； and that he had earned the right to protect for a
few hours the girl he loved。 That； too； there had been activity along the
German…Belgian line before； without result。
Perhaps subconsciously those things were there。 He himself was
conscious of no thought； of only a dogged determination to get Sara Lee
across the channel safely。 He put everything else behind him。 He counted
no cost。
The little admiralty boat sped on。 In the bow； on the bridge； and at
different stations lookouts kept watch。 The lifeboats were hung overboard；
ready to lower instantly。 On the horizon a British destroyer steamed
leisurely。 Henri stood for a long time on the deck。 The land fell away
quickly。 From a clear silhouette of the town against the sky … the dunes；
thespire of the cathedral； the roof of the mairie … it became vague；
shadowy … the height of a hand … a line … nothing。
Henri roused himself。 He was very thirsty； and the wound in his arm
ached。 When he raised his hand to salute the movement was painful。
It was a very grave Sara Lee he found in the officer's cabin when he
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went inside later on。 She was sitting on the long seat below the open port；
her hat slightly askew and her hands folded in her lap。 Her bag was beside
her； and there was in her eyes a perplexity Henri was too wretched to
notice。
For the first time Sara Lee was realizing the full value of the thing she
was throwing away。 She had persistently discounted it until now。 She had
been grateful for it。 She had felt unworthy of it。 But now； on the edge of
leaving it； she felt that something infinitely precious and very beautiful
was going out of her life。 She had already a sense of loss。
For the first time； too； she was allowing herself to think of certain
contingencies that were now forever impossible。 For instance； suppose she
had stayed with Mrs。 Cameron？ Suppose she had broken her promise to
Harvey and remained at the little house？ Suppose she had done as Henri
had so wildly urged her； and had broken entirely with Harvey？ Would she
have married Henri？
There was a certain element of caution in the girl。 It made the chances
she had taken rather more courageous； indeed； because she had always
counted the cost。 But marriage was not a matter for taking chances。 One
should know not only the man； but his setting； though she would not have
thought of it in that way。 Not only the man； but the things that made up his
life … his people； his home。
And Henri was to her still a figure； not so much now of mystery as of
detachment。 Except Jean he had no intimates。 He had no family on the
only side of the line she knew。 He had not even a country。
She had reached that point when Henri came below and saluted her
stiffly from the doorway。
〃Henri！〃 she said。 〃I believe you are ill！〃
I am not ill；〃 he said； and threw himself into the corner of the seat。
〃You have read it？〃
She nodded。 Even thinking of it brought a lump into her throat。 He
bent forward； but he did not touch her。
〃I meant it； Saralie；〃 he said。 〃Sometimes men are infatuated； and
write what they do not mean。 They are sincere at the time； and then later
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on … But I meant it。 I shall always mean it。〃
Not then； nor during the three days in London； did he so much as take
her hand。 He was not well。 He ate nothing； and at night he lay awake and
drank a great deal of water。 Once or twice he found her looking at him
anxiously； but he disclaimed all illness。
He had known from the beginning what he was doing。 But he did not
touch her； because in his heart he knew that where once he had been
worthy he was no longer worthy。 He had left his work for a woman。
It is true that he had expected to go back at once。 But the Philadelphia；
which had been listed to sail the next day； was held up by a strike in
Liverpool； and he waited on； taking such hours as she could give him；
feverishly anxious to make her happy； buying her little gifts mostly
flowers； which she wore tucked in her belt and smiled over； because she
had never before received flowers from a man。
He was alternately gay and silent。 They walked across the Thames by
the Parliament buildings； and midway across he stopped and looked long
at the stream。 And they went to the Zoological Gardens； where he gravely
named one of the sea lions for Colonel Lilias because of its mustache； and
insisted on saluting it each time before he flung it a fish。 Once he soberly
gathered up a very new baby camel； all legs； in his arms； and presented it
to her。
〃Please accept it； mademoiselle；〃 he said。 〃With my compliments。〃
They dined
