beasts and superbeasts-第24部分

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them　within　strictly　decorous　limits。〃



〃Of　course　the　thing　would　have　to　be　done　furtively　

and　politely；〃　said　Clovis；　〃the　charm　of　it　would　be　

that　it　would　never　be　perfunctory　like　the　other　thing。　　

Now；　for　instance；　you　say　to　yourself：　'I　must　show　the　

Webleys　some　attention　at　Christmas；　they　were　kind　to　

dear　Bertie　at　Bournemouth；'　and　you　send　them　a　

calendar；　and　daily　for　six　days　after　Christmas　the　male　

Webley　asks　the　female　Webley　if　she　has　remembered　to　

thank　you　for　the　calendar　you　sent　them。　　Well；　

transplant　that　idea　to　the　other　and　more　human　side　of　

your　nature；　and　say　to　yourself：　'Next　Thursday　is　

Nemesis　Day；　what　on　earth　can　I　do　to　those　odious　

people　next　door　who　made　such　an　absurd　fuss　when　Ping　

Yang　bit　their　youngest　child？'　　Then　you'd　get　up　

awfully　early　on　the　allotted　day　and　climb　over　into　

their　garden　and　dig　for　truffles　on　their　tennis　court　

with　a　good　gardening　fork；　choosing；　of　course；　that　

part　of　the　court　that　was　screened　from　observation　by　

the　laurel　bushes。　　You　wouldn't　find　any　truffles　but　

you　would　find　a　great　peace；　such　as　no　amount　of　

present…giving　could　ever　bestow。〃



〃I　shouldn't；〃　said　Mrs。　Thackenbury；　though　her　air　

of　protest　sounded　a　bit　forced；　〃I　should　feel　rather　a　

worm　for　doing　such　a　thing。〃



〃You　exaggerate　the　power　of　upheaval　which　a　worm　

would　be　able　to　bring　into　play　in　the　limited　time　

available；〃　said　Clovis；　〃if　you　put　in　a　strenuous　ten　

minutes　with　a　really　useful　fork；　the　result　ought　to　

suggest　the　operations　of　an　unusually　masterful　mole　or　

a　badger　in　a　hurry。〃



〃They　might　guess　I　had　done　it；〃　said　Mrs。　

Thackenbury。



〃Of　course　they　would；〃　said　Clovis；　〃that　would　be　

half　the　satisfaction　of　the　thing；　just　as　you　like　

people　at　Christmas　to　know　what　presents　or　cards　you've　

sent　them。　　The　thing　would　be　much　easier　to　manage；　of　

course；　when　you　were　on　outwardly　friendly　terms　with　

the　object　of　your　dislike。　　That　greedy　little　Agnes　

Blaik；　for　instance；　who　thinks　of　nothing　but　her　food；　

it　would　be　quite　simple　to　ask　her　to　a　picnic　in　some　

wild　woodland　spot　and　lose　her　just　before　lunch　was　

served；　when　you　found　her　again　every　morsel　of　food　

could　have　been　eaten　up。〃



〃It　would　require　no　ordinary　human　strategy　to　lose　

Agnes　Blaik　when　luncheon　was　imminent：　in　fact；　I　don't　

believe　it　could　be　done。〃



〃Then　have　all　the　other　guests；　people　whom　you　

dislike；　and　lose　the　luncheon。　　It　could　have　been　sent　

by　accident　in　the　wrong　direction。〃



〃It　would　be　a　ghastly　picnic；〃　said　Mrs。　

Thackenbury。



〃For　them；　but　not　for　you；〃　said　Clovis；　〃you　would　

have　had　an　early　and　comforting　lunch　before　you　

started；　and　you　could　improve　the　occasion　by　mentioning　

in　detail　the　items　of　the　missing　banquet　…　the　lobster　

Newburg　and　the　egg　mayonnaise；　and　the　curry　that　was　to　

have　been　heated　in　a　chafing…dish。　　Agnes　Blaik　would　be　

delirious　long　before　you　got　to　the　list　of　wines；　and　

in　the　long　interval　of　waiting；　before　they　had　quite　

abandoned　hope　of　the　lunch　turning　up；　you　could　induce　

them　to　play　silly　games；　such　as　that　idiotic　one　of　

'the　Lord　Mayor's　dinner…party；'　in　which　every　one　has　

to　choose　the　name　of　a　dish　and　do　something　futile　when　

it　is　called　out。　　In　this　case　they　would　probably　burst　

into　tears　when　their　dish　is　mentioned。　　It　would　be　a　

heavenly　picnic。〃



Mrs。　Thackenbury　was　silent　for　a　moment；　she　was　

probably　making　a　mental　list　of　the　people　she　would　

like　to　invite　to　the　Duke　Humphrey　picnic。　　Presently　

she　asked：　〃And　that　odious　young　man；　Waldo　Plubley；　who　

is　always　coddling　himself　…　have　you　thought　of　anything　

that　one　could　do　to　him？〃　　Evidently　she　was　beginning　

to　see　the　possibilities　of　Nemesis　Day。



〃If　there　was　anything　like　a　general　observance　of　

the　festival；〃　said　Clovis；　〃Waldo　would　be　in　such　

demand　that　you　would　have　to　bespeak　him　weeks　

beforehand；　and　even　then；　if　there　were　an　east　wind　

blowing　or　a　cloud　or　two　in　the　sky　he　might　be　too　

careful　of　his　precious　self　to　come　out。　　It　would　be　

rather　jolly　if　you　could　lure　him　into　a　hammock　in　the　

orchard；　just　near　the　spot　where　there　is　a　wasps'　nest　

every　summer。　　A　comfortable　hammock　on　a　warm　afternoon　

would　appeal　to　his　indolent　tastes；　and　then；　when　he　

was　getting　drowsy；　a　lighted　fusee　thrown　into　the　nest　

would　bring　the　wasps　out　in　an　indignant　mass；　and　they　

would　soon　find　a　'home　away　from　home'　on　Waldo's　fat　

body。　　It　takes　some　doing　to　get　out　of　a　hammock　in　a　

hurry。〃



〃They　might　sting　him　to　death；〃　protested　Mrs。　

Thackenbury。



〃Waldo　is　one　of　those　people　who　would　be　

enormously　improved　by　death；〃　said　Clovis；　〃but　if　you　

didn't　want　to　go　as　far　as　that；　you　could　have　some　wet　

straw　ready　to　hand；　and　set　it　alight　under　the　hammock　

at　the　same　time　that　the　fusee　was　thrown　into　the　nest；　

the　smoke　would　keep　all　but　the　most　militant　of　the　

wasps　just　outside　the　stinging　line；　and　as　long　as　

Waldo　remained　within　its　protection　he　would　escape　

serious　damage；　and　could　be　eventually　restored　to　his　

mother；　kippered　all　over　and　swollen　in　places；　but　

still　perfectly　recognisable。〃



〃His　mother　would　be　my　enemy　for　life；〃　said　Mrs。　

Thackenbury。



〃That　would　be　one　greeting　less　to　exchange　at　

Christmas；〃　said　Clovis。





THE　DREAMER





IT　was　the　season　of　sales。　　The　august　

establishment　of　Walpurgis　and　Nettlepink　had　lowered　its　

prices　for　an　entire　week　as　a　concession　to　trade　

observances；　much　as　an　Arch…duchess　might　protestingly　

contract　an　attack　of　influenza　for　the　unsatisfactory　

reason　that　influenza　was　locally　prevalent。　　Adela　

Chemping；　who　considered　herself　in　some　measure　superior　

to　the　allurements　of　an　ordinary　bargain　sale；　made　a　

point　of　attending　the　reduction　week　at　Walpurgis　and　

Nettlepink's。



〃I'm　not　a　bargain　hunter；〃　she　said；　〃but　I　like　to　

go　where　bargains　are。〃



Which　showed　that　beneath　her　surface　strength　of　

character　there　flowed　a　gracious　undercurrent　of　human　

weakness。



With　a　view　to　providing　herself　with　a　male　escort　

Mrs。　Chemping　had　invited　her　youngest　nephew　to　

accompany　her　on　the　first　day　of　the　shopping　

expedition；　throwing　in　the　additional　allurement　of　a　

cinematograph　theatre　and　the　prospect　of　light　

refreshment。　　As　Cyprian　was　not　yet　eighteen　she　hoped　

he　might　not　have　reached　that　stage　in　masculine　

development　when　parcel…carrying　is　looked　on　as　a　thing　

abhorrent。



〃Meet　me　just　outside　the　floral　department；〃　she　

wrote　to　him；　〃and　don't　be　a　moment　later　than　eleven。〃



Cyprian　was　a　boy　who　carried　with　him　through　early　

life　the　wondering　look　of　a　dreamer；　the　eyes　of　one　who　

sees　things　that　are　not　visible　to　ordinary　mortals；　and　

invests　the　commonplace　things　of　this　world　with　

qualities　unsuspected　by　plainer　folk　…　the　eyes　of　a　

poet　or　a　house　agent。　　He　was　quietly　dressed　…　that　

sartorial　quietude　which　frequently　accompanies　early　

adolescence；　and　is　usually　attributed　by　novel…writers　

to　the　influence　of　a　widowed　mother。　　His　hair　was　

brushed　back　in　a　smoothness　as　of　ribbon　seaweed　and　

seamed　with　a　narrow　furrow　that　scarcely　aimed　at　being　

a　parting。　　His　aunt　particularly　noted　this　item　of　his　

toilet　when　they　met　at　the　appointed　rendezvous；　because　

he　was　standing　waiting　for　her　bare…headed。



〃Where　is　your　hat？〃　she　asked。



〃I　didn't　bring　one　with　me；〃　he　replied。



Adela　Chemping　was　slightly　scandalised。



〃You　are　not　going　to　be　what　they　call　a　Nut；　are　

you？〃　she　inquired　with　some　anxiety；　partly　with　the　

idea　that　a　Nut　would　be　an　extravagance　which　her　

sister's　small　household　would　scarcely　be　justified　in　

incurring；　partly；　perhaps；　with　the　instinctive　

apprehension　that　a　Nut；　even　in　its　embryo　stage；　would　

refuse　to　carry　parcels。



Cyprian　looked　at　her　with　his　wondering；　dreamy　

eyes。



〃I　didn't　bring　a　hat；〃　he　said；　〃because　it　is　such　

a　nuisance　when　one　is　shopping；　I　mean　it　is　so　awkward　

if　one　meets　anyone　one　knows　and　has　to　take　one's　hat　

off　when　one's　hands　are　full　of　parcels。　　If　one　hasn't　

got　a　hat　on　one　can't　take　it　off。〃



Mrs。　Chemping　sighed　with　great　relief；　her　worst　

fear　had　been　laid　at　rest。



〃It　is　more　orthodox　to　wear　a　hat；〃　she　observed；　

and　then　turned　her　attention　briskly　to　the　business　in　

hand。



〃We　will　go　first　to　the　table…linen　counter；〃　she　

said；　leading　the　way　in　that　direction；　〃I　should　like　

to　look　at　some　napkins。〃



The　wondering　look　deepened　in　Cyprian's　eyes　as　he　

followed　his　aunt；　he　belonged　to　a　generation　that　is　

supposed　to　be　over…fond　of　the　role　of　me