the idle thoughts of an idle fellow[1].(一个浪子的随想)-第6部分
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dimmed eyes looking back through Time's dark avenue upon a fading
past？
I am glad when I see Regret walked with as a friendglad because I
know the saltness has been washed from out the tears； and that the sting
must have been plucked from the beautiful face of Sorrow ere we dare
press her pale lips to ours。 Time has laid his healing hand upon the wound
when we can look back upon the pain we once fainted under and no
bitterness or despair rises in our hearts。 The burden is no longer heavy
when we have for our past troubles only the same sweet mingling of
pleasure and pity that we feel when old knight…hearted Colonel Newcome
answers 〃_adsum_〃 to the great roll…call； or when Tom and Maggie
Tulliver； clasping hands through the mists that have divided them； go
down； locked in each other's arms； beneath the swollen waters of the
Floss。
Talking of poor Tom and Maggie Tulliver brings to my mind a saying
of George Eliot's in connection with this subject of melancholy。 She
speaks somewhere of the 〃sadness of a summer's evening。〃 How
wonderfully truelike everything that came from that wonderful penthe
observation is！ Who has not felt the sorrowful enchantment of those
lingering sunsets？ The world belongs to Melancholy then； a thoughtful
deep…eyed maiden who loves not the glare of day。 It is not till 〃light
thickens and the crow wings to the rocky wood〃 that she steals forth from
her groves。 Her palace is in twilight land。 It is there she meets us。 At her
shadowy gate she takes our hand in hers and walks beside us through her
mystic realm。 We see no form； but seem to hear the rustling of her wings。
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
Even in the toiling hum…drum city her spirit comes to us。 There is a
somber presence in each long； dull street； and the dark river creeps
ghostlike under the black arches； as if bearing some hidden secret beneath
its muddy waves。
In the silent country； when the trees and hedges loom dim and blurred
against the rising night； and the bat's wing flutters in our face； and the
land…rail's cry sounds drearily across the fields； the spell sinks deeper still
into our hearts。 We seem in that hour to be standing by some unseen death…
bed； and in the swaying of the elms we hear the sigh of the dying day。
A solemn sadness reigns。 A great peace is around us。 In its light our
cares of the working day grow small and trivial； and bread and cheeseay；
and even kissesdo not seem the only things worth striving for。 Thoughts
we cannot speak but only listen to flood in upon us； and standing in the
stillness under earth's darkening dome； we feel that we are greater than our
petty lives。 Hung round with those dusky curtains； the world is no longer a
mere dingy workshop； but a stately temple wherein man may worship； and
where at times in the dimness his groping hands touch God's。
ON BEING HARD UP。
It is a most remarkable thing。 I sat down with the full intention of
writing something clever and original； but for the life of me I can't think of
anything clever and originalat least； not at this moment。 The only thing I
can think about now is being hard up。 I suppose having my hands in my
pockets has made me think about this。 I always do sit with my hands in my
pockets except when I am in the company of my sisters； my cousins； or
my aunts； and they kick up such a shindyI should say expostulate so
eloquently upon the subjectthat I have to give in and take them outmy
hands I mean。 The chorus to their objections is that it is not gentlemanly。 I
am hanged if I can see why。 I could understand its not being considered
gentlemanly to put your hands in other people's pockets （especially by the
other people）； but how； 0 ye sticklers for what looks this and what looks
that； can putting his hands in his own pockets make a man less gentle？
Perhaps you are right； though。 Now I come to think of it； I have heard
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
some people grumble most savagely when doing it。 But they were mostly
old gentlemen。 We young fellows； as a rule； are never quite at ease unless
we have our hands in our pockets。 We are awkward and shifty。 We are like
what a music…hall Lion Comique would be without his opera…hat； if such a
thing can be imagined。 But let us put our hands in our trousers pockets；
and let there be some small change in the right…hand one and a bunch of
keys in the left； and we will face a female post…office clerk。
It is a little difficult to know what to do with your bands； even in your
pockets； when there is nothing else there。 Years ago； when my whole
capital would occasionally come down to 〃what in town the people call a
bob；〃 I would recklessly spend a penny of it； merely for the sake of having
the change； all in coppers； to jingle。 You don't feel nearly so hard up with
eleven pence in your pocket as you do with a shilling。 Had I been 〃La…di…
da；〃 that impecunious youth about whom we superior folk are so sarcastic；
I would have changed my penny for two ha'pennies。
I can speak with authority on the subject of being hard up。 I have been
a provincial actor。 If further evidence be required； which I do not think
likely； I can add that I have been a 〃gentleman connected with the press。〃 I
have lived on 15 shilling a week。 I have lived a week on 10； owing the
other 5； and I have lived for a fortnight on a great…coat。
It is wonderful what an insight into domestic economy being really
hard up gives one。 If you want to find out the value of money； live on 15
shillings a week and see how much you can put by for clothes and
recreation。 You will find out that it is worth while to wait for the farthing
change； that it is worth while to walk a mile to save a penny； that a glass of
beer is a luxury to be indulged in only at rare intervals； and that a collar
can be worn for four days。
Try it just before you get married。 It will be excellent practice。 Let
your son and heir try it before sending him to college。 He won't grumble at
a hundred a year pocket…money then。 There are some people to whom it
would do a world of good。 There is that delicate blossom who can't drink
any claret under ninety…four； and who would as soon think of dining off
cat's meat as off plain roast mutton。 You do come across these poor
wretches now and then； though； to the credit of humanity； they are
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
principally confined to that fearful and wonderful society known only to
lady novelists。 I never hear of one of these creatures discussing a _menu_
card but I feel a mad desire to drag him off to the bar of some common
east…end public…house and cram a sixpenny dinner down his throat
beefsteak pudding； fourpence； potatoes； a penny； half a pint of porter； a
penny。 The recollection of it （and the mingled fragrance of beer； tobacco；
and roast pork generally leaves a vivid impression） might induce him to
turn up his nose a little less frequently in the future at everything that is
put before him。 Then there is that generous party； the cadger's delight； who
is so free with his small change； but who never thinks of paying his debts。
It might teach even him a little common sense。 〃I always give the waiter a
shilling。 One can't give the fellow less； you know；〃 explained a young
government clerk with whom I was lunching the other day in Regent
Street。 I agreed with him as to the utter impossibility of making it
elevenpence ha'penny； but at the same time I resolved to one day decoy
him to an eating…house I remembered near Covent Garden； where the
waiter； for the better discharge of his duties； goes about in his shirt…
sleevesand very dirty sleeves they are； too； when it gets near the end of
the month。 I know that waiter。 If my friend gi
