thais(塞斯)-第14部分
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between her lips with his mouth。
Moeroe came to Lollius； and cried and shrieked that Thais should be
restored to her。
〃She is my daughter；〃 she said； 〃my daughter； who has been torn from
me。 My perfumed flowermy own bowels！〃
Lollius gave her a large sum of money； and sent her away。 But； as she
came back to demand some more gold staters； the young man had her put
in prison； and the magistrates having discovered that she was guilty of
many crimes； she was condemned to death； and thrown to the wild beasts。
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THAIS
Thais loved Lollius with all the passion of her mind； and the
bewilderment of innocence。 She told him； and told him truly from the
bottom of her heart
〃I have never loved any one but you。〃
Lollius replied
〃You are not like any other woman。〃
The spell lasted six months； but it broke at last。 Thais suddenly felt
that her heart was empty and lonely。 Lollius no longer seemed the same to
her。 She thought
〃What can have thus changed me in an instant？ How is it that he is
now like any other man； and no longer like himself？〃
She left him； not without a secret desire to find Lollius again in
another； as she no longer found him in himself。 She thought it would be
less dull to live with someone she had never loved； than with one she had
ceased to love。 She appeared； in the company of rich debauchees； at those
sacred feasts at which naked virgins danced in the temples； and troops of
courtesans swam across the Orontes。 She took part in all the pleasures of
the fashionable and depraved city； and she assiduously frequented the
theatres； at which clever mimes from all countries performed amidst the
applause of a crowd greedy for excitement。
She carefully observed the mimes； dancers； comedians； and especially
the women； who in tragedies represented goddesses in love with young
men； or mortals loved by the gods。 Having discovered the secrets by
which they pleased the audience； she thought to herself that she was more
beautiful and could act better。 She went to the manager； and asked to be
admitted into the troupe。 Thanks to her beauty； and to the lessons she had
received from old Moeroe； she was received； and appeared on the stage in
the part of Dirce。
She met with but indifferent success； for she was inexperienced； and
the admiration of the spectators had not been aroused by hearing her
praises sung。 But after she had played small parts for a few months； the
power of her beauty burst forth with such effect that all the city was
moved。 All Antioch crowded to the theatre。 The imperial magistrates and
the chief citizens were compelled； by the force of public opinion； to show
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THAIS
themselves there。 The porters； sweepers； and dock labourers went without
bread and garlic； that they might pay for their places。 Poets composed
epigrams in her honour。 Bearded philosophers inveighed against her in the
baths and gymnasia； when her litter passed； Christian priests turned away
their heads。 The threshold of her door was wreathed with flowers； and
sprinkled with blood。 She received so much money from her lovers that it
was no longer counted； but measured by the medimnus； and all the
treasure hoarded by miserly old men was poured out at her feet。 But she
was placid and unmoved。 She rejoiced； with quiet pride； in the admiration
of the public and the favour of the gods； and was so much loved that she
loved herself。
After she had several years enjoyed the admiration and affection of the
Antiochians； she was taken with a desire to revisit Alexandria； and show
her glory in that city in which； as a child； she had wandered in want and
shame； hungry and lean as a grasshopper in the middle of a dusty road。
The golden city joyfully welcomed her； and loaded her with fresh riches；
when she appeared in the games it was a triumph。 Countless admirers and
lovers came to her。 She received them with indifference； for she at last
despaired of meeting another Lollius。
Amongst many others； she met the philosopher Nicias； who desired to
possess her； although he professed to have no desires。 In spite of his riches；
he was intelligent and modest。 But his delicate wit and beautiful
sentiments failed to charm her。 She did not love him and sometimes his
refined irony even irritated her。 His perpetual doubts hurt her； for he
believed in nothing； and she believed in everything。 She believed in divine
providence； in the omnipotence of evil spirits； in spells； exorcisms； and
eternal justice； she believed in Jesus Christ； and in the goddess of good of
the Syrians； she believed also that bitches barked when black Hecate
passed through the streets； and that a woman could inspire love by pouring
a philtre into a cup wrapped in the bleeding skin of a sheep。 She thirsted
for the unknown； she called on nameless gods； and lived in perpetual
expectation。 The future frightened her； and yet she wished to know it。 She
surrounded herself with priests of Isis； Chaldean magi； pharmacopolists；
and professors of the black arts； who invariably deceived her； though she
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never tired of being deceived。 She feared death； and she saw it everywhere。
When she yielded to pleasure； it seemed to her that an icy finger would
suddenly touch her on the bare shoulder； and she turned pale； and cried
with terror； in the arms which embraced her。
Nicias said to her
〃What does it matter； O my Thais； whether we descend to eternal night
with white locks and hollow cheeks； or； whether this very day； now
laughing to the vast sky； shall be our last？ Let us enjoy life； we shall have
greatly lived if we have greatly loved。 There is no knowledge except that
of the senses； to love is to understand。 That which we do not know does
not exist。 What good is it to worry ourselves about nothing？〃
She replied angrily
〃I despise men like you； who hope for nothing and fear nothing。 I wish
to know！ I wish to know！〃
In order to understand the secret of life； she set to work to read the
books of the philosophers； but she did not understand them。 The further
the years of her childhood receded from her； the more anxious she was to
recall them。 She loved to traverse at night； in disguise； the alleys； squares；
and places where she had grown up so miserably。 She was sorry she had
lost her parents； and especially that she had not been able to love them。
When she met any Christian priest； she thought of her baptism； and felt
troubled。 One night； when enveloped in a long cloak； and her fair hair
hidden under a black hood； she was wandering； according to custom；
about the suburbs of the city； she found herselfwithout knowing how she
came therebefore the poor little church of St。 John the Baptist。 They
were singing inside the church； and a bright light glimmered through the
chinks of the door。 There was nothing strange in that； as； for the past
twenty years； the Christians； protected by the conqueror of Maxentius； had
publicly solemnised their festivals。 But these hymns seemed more like an
ardent appeal to the soul。 As if she had been invited to the mysteries； she
pushed the door open with her arm； and entered the building。 She found a
numerous assembly of women； children； and old men； on their knees
before a tomb； which stood against the wall。 The tomb was nothing but a
stone coffer； roughly sculptured with vine tendrils and bunches of grapes；
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yet it had received great honours； and was covered with green palms and
wreaths of red roses。 All round； innumerable lights gleamed out of the
heavy shadow； in which the smoke of Arabian gums seemed like the folds
of angels' robes； and the paintings on the walls visions of Paradise。
