first epilogue-第8部分

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apparent　cheerfulness　（it　seemed　to　Countess　Mary　that　he　did　it　on

purpose　to　vex　her）；　〃I　have　been　on　my　feet　since　six　this　morning。

Tomorrow　I　shall　have　to　suffer；　so　today　I'll　go　and　rest。〃

　　And　without　a　word　to　his　wife　he　went　to　the　little　sitting　room

and　lay　down　on　the　sofa。

　　〃That's　always　the　way；〃　thought　Countess　Mary。　〃He　talks　to

everyone　except　me。　I　see。。。　I　see　that　I　am　repulsive　to　him；

especially　when　I　am　in　this　condition。〃　She　looked　down　at　her

expanded　figure　and　in　the　glass　at　her　pale；　sallow；　emaciated　face

in　which　her　eyes　now　looked　larger　than　ever。

　　And　everything　annoyed　her…　Denisov's　shouting　and　laughter；

Natasha's　talk；　and　especially　a　quick　glance　Sonya　gave　her。

　　Sonya　was　always　the　first　excuse　Countess　Mary　found　for　feeling

irritated。

　　Having　sat　awhile　with　her　visitors　without　understanding　anything

of　what　they　were　saying；　she　softly　left　the　room　and　went　to　the

nursery。

　　The　children　were　playing　at　〃going　to　Moscow〃　in　a　carriage　made　of

chairs　and　invited　her　to　go　with　them。　She　sat　down　and　played　with

them　a　little；　but　the　thought　of　her　husband　and　his　unreasonable

crossness　worried　her。　She　got　up　and；　walking　on　tiptoe　with

difficulty；　went　to　the　small　sitting　room。

　　〃Perhaps　he　is　not　asleep；　I'll　have　an　explanation　with　him；〃　she

said　to　herself。　Little　Andrew；　her　eldest　boy；　imitating　his

mother；　followed　her　on　tiptoe。　She　not　notice　him。

　　〃Mary；　dear；　I　think　he　is　asleep…　he　was　so　tired；〃　said　Sonya；

meeting　her　in　the　large　sitting　room　（it　seemed　to　Countess　Mary　that

she　crossed　her　path　everywhere）。　〃Andrew　may　wake　him。〃

　　Countess　Mary　looked　round；　saw　little　Andrew　following　her；　felt

that　Sonya　was　right；　and　for　that　very　reason　flushed　and　with

evident　difficulty　refrained　from　saying　something　harsh。　She　made

no　reply；　but　to　avoid　obeying　Sonya　beckoned　to　Andrew　to　follow

her　quietly　and　went　to　the　door。　Sonya　went　away　by　another　door。

From　the　room　in　which　Nicholas　was　sleeping　came　the　sound　of　his

even　breathing；　every　slightest　tone　of　which　was　familiar　to　his

wife。　As　she　listened　to　it　she　saw　before　her　his　smooth　handsome

forehead；　his　mustache；　and　his　whole　face；　as　she　had　so　often　seen

it　in　the　stillness　of　the　night　when　he　slept。　Nicholas　suddenly

moved　and　cleared　his　throat。　And　at　that　moment　little　Andrew　shouted

from　outside　the　door：　〃Papa！　Mamma's　standing　here！〃　Countess　Mary

turned　pale　with　fright　and　made　signs　to　the　boy。　He　grew　silent；　and

quiet　ensued　for　a　moment；　terrible　to　Countess　Mary。　She　knew　how

Nicholas　disliked　being　waked。　Then　through　the　door　she　heard

Nicholas　clearing　his　throat　again　and　stirring；　and　his　voice　said

crossly：

　　〃I　can't　get　a　moment's　peace。。。。　Mary；　is　that　you？　Why　did　you

bring　him　here？〃

　　〃I　only　came　in　to　look　and　did　not　notice。。。　forgive　me。。。〃

　　Nicholas　coughed　and　said　no　more。　Countess　Mary　moved　away　from　the

door　and　took　the　boy　back　to　the　nursery。　Five　minutes　later　little

black…eyed　three…year…old　Natasha；　her　father's　pet；　having　learned

from　her　brother　that　Papa　was　asleep　and　Mamma　was　in　the　sitting

room；　ran　to　her　father　unobserved　by　her　mother。　The　dark…eyed　little

girl　boldly　opened　the　creaking　door；　went　up　to　the　sofa　with

energetic　steps　of　her　sturdy　little　legs；　and　having　examined　the

position　of　her　father；　who　was　asleep　with　his　back　to　her；　rose　on

tiptoe　and　kissed　the　hand　which　lay　under　his　head。　Nicholas　turned

with　a　tender　smile　on　his　face。

　　〃Natasha；　Natasha！〃　came　Countess　Mary's　frightened　whisper　from　the

door。　〃Papa　wants　to　sleep。〃

　　〃No；　Mamma；　he　doesn't　want　to　sleep；〃　said　little　Natasha　with

conviction。　〃He's　laughing。〃

　　Nicholas　lowered　his　legs；　rose；　and　took　his　daughter　in　his　arms。

　　〃Come　in；　Mary；〃　he　said　to　his　wife。

　　She　went　in　and　sat　down　by　her　husband。

　　〃I　did　not　notice　him　following　me；〃　she　said　timidly。　〃I　just

looked　in。〃

　　Holding　his　little　girl　with　one　arm；　Nicholas　glanced　at　his　wife

and；　seeing　her　guilty　expression；　put　his　other　arm　around　her　and

kissed　her　hair。

　　〃May　I　kiss　Mamma？〃　he　asked　Natasha。

　　Natasha　smiled　bashfully。

　　〃Again！〃　she　commanded；　pointing　with　a　peremptory　gesture　to　the

spot　where　Nicholas　had　placed　the　kiss。

　　〃I　don't　know　why　you　think　I　am　cross；〃　said　Nicholas；　replying

to　the　question　he　knew　was　in　his　wife's　mind。

　　〃You　have　no　idea　how　unhappy；　how　lonely；　I　feel　when　you　are

like　that。　It　always　seems　to　me。。。　〃

　　〃Mary；　don't　talk　nonsense。　You　ought　to　be　ashamed　of　yourself！〃　he

said　gaily。

　　〃It　seems　to　be　that　you　can't　love　me；　that　I　am　so　plain。。。

always。。。　and　now。。。　in　this　cond。。。〃

　　〃Oh；　how　absurd　you　are！　It　is　not　beauty　that　endears；　it's　love

that　makes　us　see　beauty。　It　is　only　Malvinas　and　women　of　that　kind

who　are　loved　for　their　beauty。　But　do　I　love　my　wife？　I　don't　love

her；　but。。。　I　don't　know　how　to　put　it。　Without　you；　or　when　something

comes　between　us　like　this；　I　seem　lost　and　can't　do　anything。　Now

do　I　love　my　finger？　I　don't　love　it；　but　just　try　to　cut　it　off！

　　〃I'm　not　like　that　myself；　but　I　understand。　So　you're　not　angry

with　me？〃

　　〃Awfully　angry！〃　he　said；　smiling　and　getting　up。　And　smoothing

his　hair　he　began　to　pace　the　room。

　　〃Do　you　know；　Mary；　what　I've　been　thinking？〃　he　began；

immediately　thinking　aloud　in　his　wife's　presence　now　that　they　had

made　it　up。

　　He　did　not　ask　if　she　was　ready　to　listen　to　him。　He　did　not　care。　A

thought　had　occurred　to　him　and　so　it　belonged　to　her　also。　And　he

told　her　of　his　intention　to　persuade　Pierre　to　stay　with　them　till

spring。

　　Countess　Mary　listened　till　he　had　finished；　made　some　remark；　and

in　her　turn　began　thinking　aloud。　Her　thoughts　were　about　the

children。

　　〃You　can　see　the　woman　in　her　already；〃　she　said　in　French；　pointing

to　little　Natasha。　〃You　reproach　us　women　with　being　illogical。　Here

is　our　logic。　I　say：　'Papa　wants　to　sleep！'　but　she　says；　'No；　he's

laughing。'　And　she　was　right；〃　said　Countess　Mary　with　a　happy　smile。

　　〃Yes；　yes。〃　And　Nicholas；　taking　his　little　daughter　in　his　strong

hand；　lifted　her　high；　placed　her　on　his　shoulder；　held　her　by　the

legs；　and　paced　the　room　with　her。　There　was　an　expression　of　carefree

happiness　on　the　faces　of　both　father　and　daughter。

　　〃But　you　know　you　may　be　unfair。　You　are　too　fond　of　this　one；〃

his　wife　whispered　in　French。

　　〃Yes；　but　what　am　I　to　do？。。。　I　try　not　to　show。。。〃

　　At　that　moment　they　heard　the　sound　of　the　door　pulley　and　footsteps

in　the　hall　and　anteroom；　as　if　someone　had　arrived。

　　〃Somebody　has　come。〃

　　〃I　am　sure　it　is　Pierre。　I　will　go　and　see；〃　said　Countess　Mary

and　left　the　room。

　　In　her　absence　Nicholas　allowed　himself　to　give　his　little

daughter　a　gallop　round　the　room。　Out　of　breath；　he　took　the

laughing　child　quickly　from　his　shoulder　and　pressed　her　to　his　heart。

His　capers　reminded　him　of　dancing；　and　looking　at　the　child's　round

happy　little　face　he　thought　of　what　she　would　be　like　when　he　was

an　old　man；　taking　her　into　society　and　dancing　the　mazurka　with　her

as　his　old　father　had　danced　Daniel　Cooper　with　his　daughter。

　　〃It　is　he；　it　is　he；　Nicholas！〃　said　Countess　Mary；　re…entering

the　room　a　few　minutes　later。　〃Now　our　Natasha　has　come　to　life。　You

should　have　seen　her　ecstasy；　and　how　he　caught　it　for　having　stayed

away　so　long。　Well；　come　along　now；　quick；　quick！　It's　time　you　two

were　parted；〃　she　added；　looking　smilingly　at　the　little　girl　who

clung　to　her　father。

　　Nicholas　went　out　holding　the　child　by　the　hand。

　　Countess　Mary　remained　in　the　sitting　room。

　　〃I　should　never；　never　have　believed　that　one　could　be　so　happy；〃

she　whispered　to　herself。　A　smile　lit　up　her　face　but　at　the　same　time

she　sighed；　and　her　deep　eyes　expressed　a　quiet　sadness　as　though

she　felt；　through　her　happiness；　that　there　is　another　sort　of

happiness　unattainable　in　this　life　and　of　which　she　involuntarily

thought　at　that　instant。

EP1｜CH10

　　CHAPTER　X



　　Natasha　had　married　in　the　early　spring　of　1813；　and　in　1820　already

had　three　daughters　besides　a　son　for　whom　she　had　longed　and　whom　she

was　now　nursing。　She　had　grown　stouter　and　broader；　so　that　it　was

difficult　to　recognize　in　this　robust；　motherly　woman　the　slim；　lively

Natasha　of　former　days。　Her　features　were　more　defined　and　had　a　calm；

soft；　and　serene　expression。　In　her　face　there　was　none　of　the

ever…glowing　animation　that　had　formerly　burned　there　and

constituted　its　charm。　Now　her　face　and　body　were　of　all　that　one　saw；

and　her　soul　was　not　visible　at　all。　All　that　struck　the　eye　was　a

strong；　handsome；　and　fertile　woman。　The　old　fire　very　rarely

kindled　in　her　face　now。　That　happened　only　when；　as　was　the　case　that

day；　her　husband　returned　home；　or　a　sick　child　was　convalescent；　or

when　she　and　Countess　Mary　spoke　of　Prince　Andrew　（she　never　mentio