the autobiography of a quack-第8部分

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d　least　of　all　in　such　a　manner　as　this。　I　advise　you　to　think　about　the　fate　which　is　inevitable。　You　must；　I　fear；　have　much　to　reflect　upon。''

‘‘But；''　said　File；　‘‘if　I　wanted　to　try　this　plan　of　mine；　couldn't　some　one　be　found　to　help　me；　say　if　he　was　to　make　twenty　thousand　or　so　by　it？　I　mean　a　really　good　doctor。''　Evidently　File　cruelly　mistrusted　my　skill；　and　meant　to　get　some　one　to　aid　me。

‘‘If　you　mean　me；''　answered　the　doctor；　‘‘some　one　cannot　be　found；　neither　for　twenty　nor　fifty　thousand　dollars。　Besides；　if　any　one　were　wicked　enough　to　venture　on　such　an　attempt；　he　would　only　be　deceiving　you　with　a　hope　which　would　be　utterly　vain。　You　must　be　off　your　head。''

I　understood　all　this　with　an　increasing　fear　in　my　mind。　I　had　meant　to　get　away　that　night　at　all　risks。　I　saw　now　that　I　must　go　at　once。

After　a　pause　he　said：　‘‘Well；　doctor；　you　know　a　poor　devil　in　my　fix　will　clutch　at　straws。　Hope　I　have　not　offended　you。''

‘‘Not　in　the　least；''　returned　the　doctor。　‘‘Shall　I　send　you　Mr。　Smith？''　This　was　my　present　name；　in　fact；　I　was　known　as　the　Rev。　Eliphalet　Smith。

‘‘I　would　like　it；''　answered　File；　‘‘but　as　you　go　out；　tell　the　warden　I　want　to　see　him　immediately　about　a　matter　of　great　importance。''

At　this　stage　I　began　to　apprehend　very　distinctly　that　the　time　had　arrived　when　it　would　be　wiser　for　me　to　delay　escape　no　longer。　Accordingly；　I　waited　until　I　heard　the　doctor　rise；　and　at　once　stepped　quietly　away　to　the　far　end　of　the　corridor。　I　had　scarcely　reached　it　when　the　door　which　closed　it　was　opened　by　a　turnkey　who　had　come　to　relieve　the　doctor　and　let　me　into　the　cell。　Of　course　my　peril　was　imminent。　If　the　turnkey　mentioned　my　near　presence　to　the　prisoner；　immediate　disclosure　would　follow。　If　some　lapse　of　time　were　secured　before　the　warden　obeyed　the　request　from　File　that　he　should　visit　him；　I　might　gain　thus　a　much…　needed　hour；　but　hardly　more。　I　therefore　said　to　the　officer：　‘‘Tell　the　warden　that　the　doctor　wishes　to　remain　an　hour　longer　with　the　prisoner；　and　that　I　shall　return　myself　at　the　end　of　that　time。''

‘‘Very　good；　sir；''　said　the　turnkey；　allowing　me　to　pass　out；　and；　as　he　followed　me；　relocking　the　door　of　the　corridor。　‘‘I'll　tell　him；''　he　said。　It　is　needless　to　repeat　that　I　never　had　the　least　idea　of　carrying　out　the　ridiculous　scheme　with　which　I　had　deluded　File　and　Stagers；　but　so　far　Stagers's　watchfulness　had　given　me　no　chance　to　escape。

In　a　few　moments　I　was　outside　of　the　jail　gate；　and　saw　my　fellow…clergyman；　Mr。　Stagers；　in　full　broadcloth　and　white　tie；　coming　down　the　street　toward　me。　As　usual；　he　was　on　his　guard；　but　this　time　he　had　to　deal　with　a　man　grown　perfectly　desperate；　with　everything　to　win　and　nothing　to　lose。　My　plans　were　made；　and；　wild　as　they　were；　I　thought　them　worth　the　trying。　I　must　evade　this　man's　terrible　watch。　How　keen　it　was；　you　cannot　imagine；　but　it　was　aided　by　three　of　the　infamous　gang　to　which　File　had　belonged；　for　without　these　spies　no　one　person　could　possibly　have　sustained　so　perfect　a　system。

I　took　Stagers's　arm。　‘‘What　time；''　said　I；　‘‘does　the　first　train　start　for　Dayton？''

‘‘At　twelve。　What　do　you　want？''

‘‘How　far　is　it？''

‘‘About　fifteen　miles；''　he　replied。

‘‘Good。　I　can　get　back　by　eight　o'clock　to…night。''

‘‘Easily；''　said　Stagers；　‘‘if　you　go。　What　do　you　want？''

‘‘I　want　a　smaller　tube　to　put　in　the　wind…　pipemust　have　it；　in　fact。''

‘‘Well；　I　don't　like　it；''　said　he；　‘‘but　the　thing's　got　to　go　through　somehow。　If　you　　must　go；　I　will　go　along　myself。　Can't　lose　sight　of　you；　doc；　just　at　present。　You're　monstrous　precious。　Did　you　tell　File？''

‘‘Yes；''　said　I；　‘‘he's　all　right。　Come。　We've　no　time　to　lose。''

Nor　had　we。　Within　twenty　minutes　we　were　seated　in　the　last　car　of　a　long　train；　and　running　at　the　rate　of　twenty　miles　an　hour　toward　Dayton。　In　about　ten　minutes　I　asked　Stagers　for　a　cigar。

‘‘Can't　smoke　here；''　said　he。

‘‘No；''　I　answered；　‘‘of　course　not。　I'll　go　forward　into　the　smoking…car。''

‘‘Come　along；''　said　he；　and　we　went　through　the　train。

I　was　not　sorry　he　had　gone　with　me　when　I　found　in　the　smoking…car　one　of　the　spies　who　had　been　watching　me　so　constantly。　Stagers　nodded　to　him　and　grinned　at　me；　and　we　sat　down　together。

‘‘Chut！''　said　I；　‘‘left　my　cigar　on　the　window…ledge　in　the　hindmost　car。　Be　back　in　a　moment。''

This　time；　for　a　wonder；　Stagers　allowed　me　to　leave　unaccompanied。　I　hastened　through　to　the　nearer　end　of　the　hindmost　car；　and　stood　on　the　platform。　I　instantly　cut　the　signal…cord。　Then　I　knelt　down；　and；　　waiting　until　the　two　cars　ran　together；　I　tugged　at　the　connecting…pin。　As　the　cars　came　together；　I　could　lift　it　a　little；　then　as　the　strain　came　on　the　coupling　the　pin　held　fast。　At　last　I　made　a　great　effort；　and　out　it　came。　The　car　I　was　on　instantly　lost　speed；　and　there　on　the　other　platform；　a　hundred　feet　away；　was　Stagers　shaking　his　fist　at　me。　He　was　beaten；　and　he　knew　it。　In　the　end　few　people　have　been　able　to　get　ahead　of　me。

The　retreating　train　was　half　a　mile　away　around　the　curve　as　I　screwed　up　the　brake　on　my　car　hard　enough　to　bring　it　nearly　to　a　stand。　I　did　not　wait　for　it　to　stop　entirely　before　I　slipped　off　the　steps；　leaving　the　other　passengers　to　dispose　of　themselves　as　they　might　until　their　absence　should　be　discovered　and　the　rest　of　the　train　return。

As　I　wish　rather　to　illustrate　my　very　remarkable　professional　career　than　to　amuse　by　describing　its　lesser　incidents；　I　shall　not　linger　to　tell　how　I　succeeded；　at　last；　in　reaching　St。　Louis。　Fortunately；　I　had　never　ceased　to　anticipate　the　moment　when　escape　from　File　and　his　friends　would　be　possible；　so　that　I　always　carried　about　with　me　the　very　small　funds　with　which　I　had　hastily　　provided　myself　upon　leaving。　The　whole　amount　did　not　exceed　sixty…five　dollars；　but　with　this；　and　a　gold　watch　worth　twice　as　much；　I　hoped　to　be　able　to　subsist　until　my　own　ingenuity　enabled　me　to　provide　more　liberally　for　the　future。　Naturally　enough；　I　scanned　the　papers　closely　to　discover　some　account　of　File's　death　and　of　the　disclosures　concerning　myself　which　he　was　only　too　likely　to　have　made。

I　came　at　last　on　an　account　of　how　he　had　poisoned　himself；　and　so　escaped　the　hangman。　I　never　learned　what　he　had　said　about　me；　but　I　was　quite　sure　he　had　not　let　me　off　easy。　I　felt　that　this　failure　to　announce　his　confessions　was　probably　due　to　a　desire　on　the　part　of　the　police　to　avoid　alarming　me。　Be　this　as　it　may；　I　remained　long　ignorant　as　to　whether　or　not　the　villain　betrayed　my　part　in　that　unusual　coroner's　inquest。

Before　many　days　I　had　resolved　to　make　another　and　a　bold　venture。　Accordingly　appeared　in　the　St。　Louis　papers　an　advertisement　to　the　effect　that　Dr。　von　Ingenhoff；　the　well…known　German　physician；　who　had　spent　two　years　on　the　Plains　acquiring　a　knowledge　of　Indian　medicine；　was　prepared　to　treat　all　diseases　by　vegetable　remedies　alone。　　Dr。　von　Ingenhoff　would　remain　in　St。　Louis　for　two　weeks；　and　was　to　be　found　at　the　Grayson　House　every　day　from　ten　until　two　o'clock。

To　my　delight；　I　got　two　patients　the　first　day。　The　next　I　had　twice　as　many；　when　at　once　I　hired　two　connecting　rooms；　and　made　a　very　useful　arrangement；　which　I　may　describe　dramatically　in　the　following　way：

There　being　two　or　three　patients　waiting　while　I　finished　my　cigar　and　morning　julep；　enters　a　respectable…looking　old　gentleman　who　inquires　briskly　of　the　patients　if　this　is　really　Dr。　von　Ingenhoff's。　He　is　told　it　is。　My　friend　was　apt　to　overact　his　part。　I　had　often　occasion　to　ask　him　to　be　less　positive。

‘‘Ah；''　says　he；　‘‘I　shall　be　delighted　to　see　the　doctor。　Five　years　ago　I　was　scalped　on　the　Plains；　and　now''exhibiting　a　well…covered　head‘‘you　see　what　the　doctor　did　for　me。　'T　isn't　any　wonder　I've　come　fifty　miles　to　see　him。　Any　of　you　been　scalped；　gentlemen？''

To　none　of　them　had　this　misfortune　arrived　as　yet；　but；　like　most　folks　in　the　lower　ranks　of　life　and　some　in　the　upper　ones；　it　was　pleasant　to　find　a　genial　person　who　would　listen　to　their　account　of　their　own　symptoms。

Presently；　after　hearing　enough；　the　old　gentleman　pulls　out　a　large　watch。　‘‘Bless　me！　it's　late。　I　must　call　again。　May　I　trouble　you；　sir；　to　say　to　the　doctor　that　his　old　friend　called　to　see　him　and　will　drop　in　again　to…morrow？　Don't　forget：　Governor　Brown　of　Arkansas。''　A　moment　later　the　governor　visited　me　by　a　side　door；　with　his　account　of　the　symptoms　of　my　patients。

Enter　a　tall　Hoosier；　the　governor　having　retired。　‘‘Now；　doc；''　says　the　Hoosier；　‘‘I've　been　handled　awful　these　two　years　back。''　‘‘Stop！''　I　exclaimed。　‘‘Open　your　eyes。　There；　now；　let　me　see；''　taking　his　pulse　as　I　speak。　‘‘Ah；　you've　a　pain　there；　and　there；　and　you　can't　sleep；　cocktails　don't　agree　any　longer。　Weren't　you　bit　by　a　dog　two　years　ago？''　‘‘I　was；''　says　the　Hoosier；　in　amazement。　‘‘Sir；''　I　reply；　‘‘you　have　chronic　hydrophobia。　It's　the　water　in　the　cocktails　that　disagrees　with　you。　My　bitters　will　cure　you　in　a　week；　sir。　No　more　whiskydrink　milk。''

The　astonishment　of　my　patient　at　these　accurate　revelations　may　be　imagined。　He　is　al