a death in the desert-第3部分
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defiantly remained； though they were all in a lower keyolder；
sadder； softer。
She sat down upon the divan and began nervously to arrange the
pillows。 〃I know I'm not an inspiring object to look upon； but you
must be quite frank and sensible about that and get used to it at
once； for we've no time to lose。 And if I'm a trifle irritable you
won't mind？for I'm more than usually nervous。〃
〃Don't bother with me this morning； if you are tired；〃 urged
Everett。 〃I can come quite as well tomorrow。〃
〃Gracious； no！〃 she protested； with a flash of that quick；
keen humor that he remembered as a part of her。 〃It's solitude
that I'm tired to death ofsolitude and the wrong kind of people。
You see； the minister； not content with reading the prayers for the
sick； called on me this morning。 He happened to be riding
by on his bicycle and felt it his duty to stop。 Of course； he
disapproves of my profession； and I think he takes it for granted
that I have a dark past。 The funniest feature of his conversation
is that he is always excusing my own vocation to mecondoning it；
you knowand trying to patch up my peace with my conscience by
suggesting possible noble uses for what he kindly calls my talent。〃
Everett laughed。 〃Oh！ I'm afraid I'm not the person to call
after such a serious gentlemanI can't sustain the situation。
At my best I don't reach higher than low comedy。 Have you
decided to which one of the noble uses you will devote yourself？〃
Katharine lifted her hands in a gesture of renunciation and
exclaimed： 〃I'm not equal to any of them； not even the least
noble。 I didn't study that method。〃
She laughed and went on nervously： 〃The parson's not so bad。
His English never offends me； and he has read Gibbon's Decline
and Fall； all five volumes； and that's something。 Then； he has
been to New York； and that's a great deal。 But how we are losing
time！ Do tell me about New York； Charley says you're just on from
there。 How does it look and taste and smell just now？ I think a
whiff of the Jersey ferry would be as flagons of cod…liver oil to
me。 Who conspicuously walks the Rialto now； and what does he or
she wear？ Are the trees still green in Madison Square； or have
they grown brown and dusty？ Does the chaste Diana on the Garden
Theatre still keep her vestal vows through all the exasperating
changes of weather？ Who has your brother's old studio now； and
what misguided aspirants practice their scales in the rookeries
about Carnegie Hall？ What do people go to see at the theaters；
and what do they eat and drink there in the world nowadays？ You
see； I'm homesick for it all； from the Battery to Riverside。 Oh；
let me die in Harlem！〃 She was interrupted by a violent attack
of coughing； and Everett； embarrassed by her discomfort； plunged
into gossip about the professional people he had met in town
during the summer and the musical outlook for the winter。 He was
diagraming with his pencil； on the back of an old envelope he
found in his pocket； some new mechanical device to be
used at the Metropolitan in the production of the Rheingold；
when he became conscious that she was looking at him intently； and
that he was talking to the four walls。
Katharine was lying back among the pillows； watching him
through half…closed eyes； as a painter looks at a picture。 He
finished his explanation vaguely enough and put the envelope back
in his pocket。 As he did so she said； quietly： 〃How wonderfully
like Adriance you are！〃 and he felt as though a crisis of some
sort had been met and tided over。
He laughed； looking up at her with a touch of pride in his
eyes that made them seem quite boyish。 〃Yes； isn't it absurd？
It's almost as awkward as looking like Napoleonbut； after all；
there are some advantages。 It has made some of his friends like
me； and I hope it will make you。〃
Katharine smiled and gave him a quick； meaning glance from
under her lashes。 〃Oh； it did that long ago。 What a haughty；
reserved youth you were then； and how you used to stare at people
and then blush and look cross if they paid you back in your own
coin。 Do you remember that night when you took me home from a
rehearsal and scarcely spoke a word to me？〃
〃It was the silence of admiration；〃 protested Everett； 〃very
crude and boyish； but very sincere and not a little painful。
Perhaps you suspected something of the sort？ I remember you saw
fit to be very grown…up and worldly。
〃I believe I suspected a pose； the one that college boys
usually affect with singers'an earthen vessel in love with a
star；' you know。 But it rather surprised me in you； for you must
have seen a good deal of your brother's pupils。 Or had you an
omnivorous capacity； and elasticity that always met the
occasion？〃
〃Don't ask a man to confess the follies of his youth；〃 said
Everett； smiling a little sadly； 〃I am sensitive about some of
them even now。 But I was not so sophisticated as you imagined。
I saw my brother's pupils come and go； but that was about all。
Sometimes I was called on to play accompaniments； or to fill out
a vacancy at a rehearsal； or to order a carriage for an
infuriated soprano who had thrown up her part。 But they never
spent any time on me； unless it was to notice the resemblance you
speak of。〃
〃Yes〃； observed Katharine； thoughtfully； 〃I noticed it then；
too； but it has grown as you have grown older。 That is rather
strange； when you have lived such different lives。 It's not
merely an ordinary family likeness of feature； you know； but a
sort of interchangeable individuality； the suggestion of the
other man's personality in your face like an air transposed to
another key。 But I'm not attempting to define it； it's beyond
me； something altogether unusual and a triflewell； uncanny；〃
she finished； laughing。
〃I remember；〃 Everett said seriously； twirling the pencil
between his fingers and looking； as he sat with his head thrown
back； out under the red window blind which was raised just a
little； and as it swung back and forth in the wind revealed the
glaring panorama of the deserta blinding stretch of yellow；
flat as the sea in dead calm； splotched here and there with deep
purple shadows； and； beyond； the ragged…blue outline of the
mountains and the peaks of snow； white as the white clouds〃I
remember； when I was a little fellow I used to be very sensitive
about it。 I don't think it exactly displeased me； or that I would
have had it otherwise if I could； but it seemed to me like a
birthmark； or something not to be lightly spoken of。 People were
naturally always fonder of Ad than of me； and I used to feel the
chill of reflected light pretty often。 It came into even my
relations with my mother。 Ad went abroad to study when he was
absurdly young； you know； and mother was all broken up over it。
She did her whole duty by each of us； but it was sort of
generally understood among us that she'd have made burnt
offerings of us all for Ad any day。 I was a little fellow then；
and when she sat alone on the porch in the summer dusk she used
sometimes to call me to her and turn my face up in the light that
streamed out through the shutters and kiss me； and then I always
knew she was thinking of Adriance。〃
〃Poor little chap；〃 said Katharine； and her tone was a
trifle huskier than usual。 〃How fond people have always been of
Adriance！ Now tell me the latest news of him。 I haven't heard；
except through the press； for a year or more。 He was in Algeria
then； in the valley of the Chelif； riding horseback night and day
in an Arabian costume； and in his usual enthusiastic fashion he
had quite made up his mind to adopt the Mohammedan faith
and become as nearly an Arab as possible。 How many countries and
faiths has be adopted； I wonder？ Probably he was playing Arab to
himself all the time。 I remember he was a sixteenth…century duke
in Florence once for weeks together。〃
〃Oh； that's Adriance；〃 chuckled Everett。 〃He is himself
barely long enough to write checks and be measured for his
clothes。 I didn't hear from him while he was an Arab； I missed
that。〃
〃He was writing an Algerian suite for the piano then； it
must be in the publisher's hands by this time。 I have been too
ill to answer his letter； and have lost touch with him。〃
