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overshadowing　the　land。



A　familiar　phrase　rang　in　his　ears：　〃It　is　to　laugh。〃　At　the

height　of　the　wrangle；　he　giggled；　once；　aloud；　and　earned　a

sullen　frown　from　Judge　Witberg。　Worse；　a　myriad　times；　he

decided；　were　these　bullying　lawyers　and　this　bullying　judge

then　the　bucko　mates　in　first　quality　hell…ships；　who　not　only

did　their　own　bullying　but　protected　themselves　as　well。　These

petty　rapscallions；　on　the　other　hand；　sought　protection　behind

the　majesty　of　the　law。　They　struck；　but　no　one　was　permitted

to　strike　back；　for　behind　them　were　the　prison　cells　and　the

clubs　of　the　stupid　policemenpaid　and　professional　fighters

and　beaters…up　of　men。　Yet　he　was　not　bitter。　The　grossness　and

the　sliminess　of　it　was　forgotten　in　the　simple　grotesqueness

of　it；　and　he　had　the　saving　sense　of　humor。



Nevertheless；　hectored　and　heckled　though　he　was；　he　managed　in

the　end　to　give　a　simple；　straightforward　version　of　the

affair；　and；　despite　a　belligerent　cross…examination；　his　story

was　not　shaken　in　any　particular。　Quite　different　it　was　from

the　perjuries　that　had　shouted　aloud　from　the　perjuries　of

Patsy　and　his　two　witnesses。



Both　Patsy's　attorney　and　the　Prosecuting　Attorney　rested　their

cases；　letting　everything　go　before　the　Court　without　argument。

Watson　protested　against　this；　but　was　silenced　when　the

Prosecuting　Attorney　told　him　that　Public　Prosecutor　and　knew

his　business。



〃Patrick　Horan　has　testified　that　he　was　in　danger　of　his　life

and　that　he　was　compelled　to　defend　himself；〃　Judge　Witberg's

verdict　began。　〃Mr。　Watson　has　testified　to　the　same　thing。

Each　has　sworn　that　the　other　struck　the　first　blow；　each　has

sworn　that　the　other　made　an　unprovoked　assault　on　him。　It　is

an　axiom　of　the　law　that　the　defendant　should　be　given　the

benefit　of　the　doubt。　A　very　reasonable　doubt　exists。

Therefore；　in　the　case　of　the　People　Versus　Carter　Watson　the

benefit　of　the　doubt　is　given　to　said　Carter　Watson　and　he　is

herewith　ordered　discharged　from　custody。　The　same　reasoning

applies　to　the　case　of　the　People　Versus　Patrick　Horan。　He　is

given　the　benefit　of　the　doubt　and　discharged　from　custody。　My

recommendation　is　that　both　defendants　shake　hands　and　make

up。〃



In　the　afternoon　papers　the　first　headline　that　caught　Watson's

eye　was：　〃CARTER　WATSON　ACQUITTED。〃　In　the　second　paper　it　was：

〃CARTER　WATSON　ESCAPES　A　FINE。〃　But　what　capped　everything　was

the　one　beginning：　〃CARTER　WATSON　A　GOOD　FELLOW。〃　In　the　text

he　read　how　Judge　Witberg　had　advised　both　fighters　to　shake

hands；　which　they　promptly　did。　Further；　he　read：　



〃'Let's　have　a　nip　on　it；'　said　Patsy　Horan。



〃'Sure；'　said　Carter　Watson。



〃And；　arm　in　arm；　they　ambled　for　the　nearest　saloon。〃



IV



Now；　from　the　whole　adventure；　Watson　carried　away　no

bitterness。　It　was　a　social　experience　of　a　new　order；　and　it

led　to　the　writing　of　another　book；　which　he　entitled；　〃POLICE

COURT　PROCEDURE：　A　Tentative　Analysis。〃



One　summer　morning　a　year　later；　on　his　ranch；　he　left　his

horse　and　himself　clambered　on　through　a　miniature　canyon　to

inspect　some　rock　ferns　he　had　planted　the　previous　winter。

Emerging　from　the　upper　end　of　the　canyon；　he　came　out　on　one

of　his　flower…spangled　meadows；　a　delightful　isolated　spot；

screened　from　the　world　by　low　hills　and　clumps　of　trees。　And

here　he　found　a　man；　evidently　on　a　stroll　from　the　summer

hotel　down　at　the　little　town　a　mile　away。　They　met　face　to

face　and　the　recognition　was　mutual。　It　was　Judge　Witberg。

Also；　it　was　a　clear　case　of　trespass；　for　Watson　had　trespass

signs　upon　his　boundaries；　though　he　never　enforced　them。



Judge　Witberg　held　out　his　hand；　which　Watson　refused　to　see。



〃Politics　is　a　dirty　trade；　isn't　it；　Judge？〃　he　remarked。　〃Oh；

yes；　I　see　your　hand；　but　I　don't　care　to　take　it。　The　papers

said　I　shook　hands　with　Patsy　Horan　after　the　trial。　You　know　I

did　not；　but　let　me　tell　you　that　I'd　a　thousand　times　rather

shake　hands　with　him　and　his　vile　following　of　curs；　than　with

you。〃



Judge　Witberg　was　painfully　flustered；　and　as　he　hemmed　and

hawed　and　essayed　to　speak；　Watson；　looking　at　him；　was　struck

by　a　sudden　whim；　and　he　determined　on　a　grim　and　facetious

antic。



〃I　should　scarcely　expect　any　animus　from　a　man　of　your

acquirements　and　knowledge　of　the　world；〃　the　Judge　was　saying。



〃Animus？〃　Watson　replied。　〃Certainly　not。　I　haven't　such　a

thing　in　my　nature。　And　to　prove　it；　let　me　show　you　something

curious；　something　you　have　never　seen　before。〃　Casting　about

him；　Watson　picked　up　a　rough　stone　the　size　of　his　fist。　〃See

this。　Watch　me。〃



So　saying；　Carter　Watson　tapped　himself　a　sharp　blow　on　the

cheek。　The　stone　laid　the　flesh　open　to　the　bone　and　the　blood

spurted　forth。



〃The　stone　was　too　sharp；〃　he　announced　to　the　astounded　police

judge；　who　thought　he　had　gone　mad。



〃I　must　bruise　it　a　trifle。　There　is　nothing　like　being

realistic　in　such　matters。〃



Whereupon　Carter　Watson　found　a　smooth　stone　and　with　it

pounded　his　cheek　nicely　several　times。



〃Ah；〃　he　cooed。　〃That　will　turn　beautifully　green　and　black　in

a　few　hours。　It　will　be　most　convincing。〃



〃You　are　insane；〃　Judge　Witberg　quavered。



〃Don't　use　such　vile　language　to　me；〃　said　Watson。　〃You　see　my

bruised　and　bleeding　face？　You　did　that；　with　that　right　hand

of　yours。　You　hit　me　twicebiff；　biff。　It　is　a　brutal　and

unprovoked　assault。　I　am　in　danger　of　my　life。　I　must　protect

myself。〃



Judge　Witberg　backed　away　in　alarm　before　the　menacing　fists　of

the　other。



〃If　you　strike　me　I'll　have　you　arrested；〃　Judge　Witberg

threatened。



〃That　is　what　I　told　Patsy；〃　was　the　answer。　〃And　do　you　know

what　he　did　when　I　told　him　that？〃



〃No。〃



〃That！〃



And　at　the　same　moment　Watson's　right　fist　landed　flush　on

Judge　Witberg's　nose；　putting　that　legal　gentleman　over　on　his

back　on　the　grass。



〃Get　up！〃　commanded　Watson。　〃If　you　are　a　gentleman；　get

upthat's　what　Patsy　told　me；　you　know。〃



Judge　Witberg　declined　to　rise；　and　was　dragged　to　his　feet　by

the　coat…collar；　only　to　have　one　eye　blacked　and　be　put　on　his

back　again。　After　that　it　was　a　red　Indian　massacre。　Judge

Witberg　was　humanely　and　scientifically　beaten　up。　His　checks

were　boxed；　his　cars　cuffed；　and　his　face　was　rubbed　in　the

turf。　And　all　the　time　Watson　exposited　the　way　Patsy　Horan　had

done　it。　Occasionally；　and　very　carefully；　the　facetious

sociologist　administered　a　real　bruising　blow。　Once；　dragging

the　poor　Judge　to　his　feet；　he　deliberately　bumped　his　own　nose

on　the　gentleman's　head。　The　nose　promptly　bled。



〃See　that！〃　cried　Watson；　stepping　back　and　deftly　shedding　his

blood　all　down　his　own　shirt　front。　〃You　did　it。　With　your　fist

you　did　it。　It　is　awful。　I　am　fair　murdered。　I　must　again

defend　myself。〃



And　once　more　Judge　Witberg　impacted　his　features　on　a　fist　and

was　sent　to　grass。



〃I　will　have　you　arrested；〃　he　sobbed　as　he　lay。



〃That's　what　Patsy　said。〃



〃A　brutal…sniff；　sniff；and　unprovokedsniff；　sniff

assault。〃



〃That's　what　Patsy　said。〃



〃I　will　surely　have　you　arrested。〃



〃Speaking　slangily；　not　if　I　can　beat　you　to　it。〃



And　with　that；　Carter　Watson　departed　down　the　canyon；　mounted

his　horse；　and　rode　to　town。



An　hour　later；　as　Judge　Witberg　limped　up　the　grounds　to　his

hotel；　he　was　arrested　by　a　village　constable　on　a　charge　of

assault　and　battery　preferred　by　Carter　Watson。



V



〃Your　Honor；〃　Watson　said　next　day　to　the　village　Justice；　a

well　to　do　farmer　and　graduate；　thirty　years　before；　from　a　cow

college；　〃since　this　Sol　Witberg　has　seen　fit　to　charge　me　with

battery；　following　upon　my　charge　of　battery　against　him；　I

would　suggest　that　both　cases　be　lumped　together。　The　testimony

and　the　facts　are　the　same　in　both　cases。〃



To　this　the　Justice　agreed；　and　the　double　case　proceeded。

Watson；　as　prosecuting　witness；　first　took　the　stand　and　told

his　story。



〃I　was　picking　flowers；〃　he　testified。　〃Picking　flowers　on　my

own　land；　never　dreaming　of　danger。　Suddenly　this　man　rushed

upon　me　from　behind　the　trees。　'I　am　the　Dodo；'　he　says；　'and　I

can　do　you　to　a　frazzle。　Put　up　your　hands。'　I　smiled；　but　with

that；　biff；　biff；　he　struck　me；　knocking　me　down　and　spilling

my　flowers。　The　language　he　used　was　frightful。　It　was　an

unprovoked　and　brutal　assault。　Look　at　my　cheek。　Look　at　my

noseI　could　not　understand　it。　He　must　have　been　drunk。

Before　I　recovered　from　my　surprise　he　had　administered　this

beating。　I　was　in　danger　of　my　life　and　was　compelled　to　defend

himself。　That　is　all；　Your　Honor；　though　I　must　say；　in

conclusion；　that　I　cannot　get　over　my　perplexity。　Why　did　he

say　he　was　the　Dodo？　Why　did　he　so　wantonly　attack　me？〃



And　thus　was　Sol　Witberg　given　a　liberal　education　in　the　art

of　perjury。　Often；　from　his　high　seat；　he　had　listen