the hand of ethelberta-第20部分

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notice　where　the　grass　terminated　near　the　edge　of　the　cliff；　though
this　could　be　easily　felt　by　a　careful　walker：　　to　make　my　own
feeling　more　distinct　on　this　point　I　hastily　bared　my　feet。'

The　listeners　moistened　their　lips；　Ethelberta　took　breath；　and　then
went　on　to　describe　the　scene　that　ensued；　'A　dreadful　variation　on
the　game　of　Blindman's　buff；'　being　the　words　by　which　she
characterized　it。

Ethelberta's　manner　had　become　so　impassioned　at　this　point　that　the
lips　of　her　audience　parted；　the　children　clung　to　their　elders；　and
Christopher　could　control　himself　no　longer。　　He　thrust　aside　the
boughs；　and　broke　in　upon　the　group。

'For　Heaven's　sake；　Ethelberta；'　he　exclaimed　with　great　excitement；
'where　did　you　meet　with　such　a　terrible　experience　as　that？'

The　children　shrieked；　as　if　they　thought　that　the　interruption　was
in　some　way　the　catastrophe　of　the　events　in　course　of　narration。
Every　one　started　up；　the　two　young　mechanics　stared；　and　one　of
them　inquired；　in　return；　'What's　the　matter；　friend？'

Christopher　had　not　yet　made　reply　when　Ethelberta　stepped　from　her
pedestal　down　upon　the　crackling　carpet　of　deep　leaves。

'Mr。　Julian！'　said　she；　in　a　serene　voice；　turning　upon　him　eyes　of
such　a　disputable　stage　of　colour；　between　brown　and　grey；　as　would
have　commended　itself　to　a　gallant　duellist　of　the　last　century　as　a
point　on　which　it　was　absolutely　necessary　to　take　some　friend's
life　or　other。　　But　the　calmness　was　artificially　done；　and　the
astonishment　that　did　not　appear　in　Ethelberta's　tones　was　expressed
by　her　gaze。　　Christopher　was　not　in　a　mood　to　draw　fine
distinctions　between　recognized　and　unrecognized　organs　of　speech。
He　replied　to　the　eyes。

'I　own　that　your　surprise　is　natural；'　he　said；　with　an　anxious　look
into　her　face；　as　if　he　wished　to　get　beyond　this　interpolated　scene
to　something　more　congenial　and　understood。　　'But　my　concern　at　such
a　history　of　yourself　since　I　last　saw　you　is　even　more　natural　than
your　surprise　at　my　manner　of　breaking　in。'

'That　history　would　justify　any　conduct　in　one　who　hears　it'

'Yes；　indeed。'

'If　it　were　true；'　added　Ethelberta；　smiling。　　'But　it　is　as　false
as'　　She　could　name　nothing　notoriously　false　without　raising　an
image　of　what　was　disagreeable；　and　she　continued　in　a　better
manner：　　'The　story　I　was　telling　is　entirely　a　fiction；　which　I　am
getting　up　for　a　particular　purposevery　different　from　what
appears　at　present。'

'I　am　sorry　there　was　such　a　misunderstanding；'　Christopher
stammered；　looking　upon　the　ground　uncertain　and　ashamed。　　'Yet　I　am
not；　either；　for　I　am　very　glad　you　have　not　undergone　such　trials；
of　course。　　But　the　fact　is；　Ibeing　in　the　neighbourhoodI
ventured　to　call　on　a　matter　of　business；　relating　to　a　poem　which　I
had　the　pleasure　of　setting　to　music　at　the　beginning　of　the　year。'

Ethelberta　was　only　a　little　less　ill　at　ease　than　Christopher
showed　himself　to　be　by　this　way　of　talking。

'Will　you　walk　slowly　on？'　she　said　gently　to　the　two　young　men；
'and　take　the　children　with　you；　this　gentleman　wishes　to　speak　to
me　on　business。'

The　biggest　young　man　caught　up　a　little　one　under　his　arm；　and
plunged　amid　the　boughs；　another　little　one　lingered　behind　for　a
few　moments　to　look　shyly　at　Christopher；　with　an　oblique　manner　of
hiding　her　mouth　against　her　shoulder　and　her　eyes　behind　her
pinafore。　　Then　she　vanished；　the　boy　and　the　second　young　man
followed；　and　Ethelberta　and　Christopher　stood　within　the　wood…bound
circle　alone。

'I　hope　I　have　caused　no　inconvenience　by　interrupting　the
proceedings；'　said　Christopher　softly；　'but　I　so　very　much　wished　to
see　you！'

'Did　you；　indeedreally　wish　to　see　me？'　she　said　gladly。　　'Never
mind　inconvenience　then；　it　is　a　word　which　seems　shallow　in　meaning
under　the　circumstances。　　I　surely　must　say　that　a　visit　is　to　my
advantage；　must　I　not？　　I　am　not　as　I　was；　you　see；　and　may　receive
as　advantages　what　I　used　to　consider　as　troubles。'

'Has　your　life　really　changed　so　much？'

'It　has　changed。　　But　what　I　first　meant　was　that　an　interesting
visitor　at　a　wrong　time　is　better　than　a　stupid　one　at　a　right
time。'

'I　had　been　behind　the　trees　for　some　minutes；　looking　at　you；　and
thinking　of　you；　but　what　you　were　doing　rather　interrupted　my　first
meditation。　　I　had　thought　of　a　meeting　in　which　we　should　continue
our　intercourse　at　the　point　at　which　it　was　broken　off　years　ago；
as　if　the　omitted　part　had　not　existed　at　all；　but　something；　I
cannot　tell　what；　has　upset　all　that　feeling；　and'

'I　can　soon　tell　you　the　meaning　of　my　extraordinary　performance；'
Ethelberta　broke　in　quickly；　and　with　a　little　trepidation。　　'My
mother…in…law；　Lady　Petherwin；　is　dead；　and　she　has　left　me　nothing
but　her　house　and　furniture　in　Londonmore　than　I　deserve；　but　less
than　she　had　distinctly　led　me　to　expect；　and　so　I　am　somewhat　in　a
corner。'

'It　is　always　so。'

'Not　always；　I　think。　　But　this　is　how　it　happened。　　Lady　Petherwin
was　very　capricious；　when　she　was　not　foolishly　kind　she　was
unjustly　harsh。　　A　great　many　are　like　it；　never　thinking　what　a
good　thing　it　would　be；　instead　of　going　on　tacking　from　side　to
side　between　favour　and　cruelty；　to　keep　to　a　mean　line　of　common
justice。　　And　so　we　quarrelled；　and　she；　being　absolute　mistress　of
all　her　wealth；　destroyed　her　will　that　was　in　my　favour；　and　made
another；　leaving　me　nothing　but　the　fag…end　of　the　lease　of　the
town…house　and　the　furniture　in　it。　　Then；　when　we　were　abroad；　she
turned　to　me　again；　forgave　everything；　and；　becoming　ill
afterwards；　wrote　a　letter　to　the　brother；　to　whom　she　had　left　the
bulk　of　her　property；　stating　that　I　was　to　have　twenty…thousand　of
the　one…hundred…thousand　pounds　she　had　bequeathed　to　himas　in　the
original　willdoing　this　by　letter　in　case　anything　should　happen
to　her　before　a　new　will　could　be　considered；　drawn；　and　signed；　and
trusting　to　his　honour　quite　that　he　would　obey　her　expressed　wish
should　she　die　abroad。　　Well；　she　did　die；　in　the　full　persuasion
that　I　was　provided　for；　but　her　brother　（as　I　secretly　expected　all
the　time）　refused　to　be　morally　bound　by　a　document　which　had　no
legal　value；　and　the　result　is　that　he　has　everything；　except；　of
course；　the　furniture　and　the　lease。　　It　would　have　been　enough　to
break　the　heart　of　a　person　who　had　calculated　upon　getting　a
fortune；　which　I　never　did；　for　I　felt　always　like　an　intruder　and　a
bondswoman；　and　had　wished　myself　out　of　the　Petherwin　family　a
hundred　times；　with　my　crust　of　bread　and　liberty。　　For　one　thing；　I
was　always　forbidden　to　see　my　relatives；　and　it　pained　me　much。
Now　I　am　going　to　move　for　myself；　and　consider　that　I　have　a　good
chance　of　success　in　what　I　may　undertake；　because　of　an
indifference　I　feel　about　succeeding　which　gives　the　necessary
coolness　that　any　great　task　requires。'

'I　presume　you　mean　to　write　more　poems？'

'I　cannotthat　is；　I　can　write　no　more　that　satisfy　me。　　To　blossom
into　rhyme　on　the　sparkling　pleasures　of　life；　you　must　be　under　the
influence　of　those　pleasures；　and　I　am　at　present　quite　removed　from
themsurrounded　by　gaunt　realities　of　a　very　different
description。'

'Then　try　the　mournful。　　Trade　upon　your　sufferings：　　many　do；　and
thrive。'

'It　is　no　use　to　say　thatno　use　at　all。　　I　cannot　write　a　line　of
verse。　　And　yet　the　others　flowed　from　my　heart　like　a　stream。　　But
nothing　is　so　easy　as　to　seem　clever　when　you　have　money。'

'Except　to　seem　stupid　when　you　have　none；'　said　Christopher；
looking　at　the　dead　leaves。

Ethelberta　allowed　herself　to　linger　on　that　thought　for　a　few
seconds；　and　continued；　'Then　the　question　arose；　what　was　I　to　do？
I　felt　that　to　write　prose　would　be　an　uncongenial　occupation；　and
altogether　a　poor　prospect　for　a　woman　like　me。　　Finally　I　have
decided　to　appear　in　public。'

'Not　on　the　stage？'

'Certainly　not　on　the　stage。　　There　is　no　novelty　in　a　poor　lady
turning　actress；　and　novelty　is　what　I　want。　　Ordinary　powers
exhibited　in　a　new　way　effect　as　much　as　extraordinary　powers
exhibited　in　an　old　way。'

'Yesso　they　do。　　And　extraordinary　powers；　and　a　new　way　too；
would　be　irresistible。'

'I　don't　calculate　upon　both。　　I　had　written　a　prose　story　by
request；　when　it　was　found　that　I　had　grown　utterly　inane　over
verse。　　It　was　written　in　the　first　person；　and　the　style　was
modelled　after　De　Foe's。　　The　night　before　sending　it　off；　when　I
had　already　packed　it　up；　I　was　reading　about　the　professional
story…tellers　of　Eastern　countries；　who　devoted　their　lives　to　the
telling　of　tales。　　I　unfastened　the　manuscript　and　retained　it；
convinced　that　I　should　do　better　by　TELLING　the　story。'

'Well　thought　of！'　exclaimed　Christopher；　looking　into　her　face。
'There　is　a　way　for　everybody　to　live；　if　they　can　only　find　it
out。'

'It　occurred　to　me；'　she　continued；　blushing　slightly；　'that　tales
of　the　weird　kind　were　made　to　be　told；　not　written。　　The　action　of
a　teller　is　wanted　to　give　due　effect　to　all　stories　of　incident；
and　I　hope　that　a　time　will　come　when；　as　of　old；　instead　of　an
unsocial　reading　of　fiction　at　home　alone；　people　will　meet　together
cordi