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Hope。　The　Burgundian　saw　Madame　de　La　Vaugrenand　so　troubled　that　he

nearly　died　of　the　consolations　he　administered　to　her；　in　spite　of

his　former　opinions。　This　teaches　us　to　hold　our　tongues　in

hostelries。







INNOCENCE



By　the　double　crest　of　my　fowl；　and　by　the　rose　lining　of　my

sweetheart's　slipper！　By　all　the　horns　of　well…beloved　cuckolds；　and

by　the　virtue　of　their　blessed　wives！　the　finest　work　of　man　is

neither　poetry；　nor　painted　pictures；　nor　music；　nor　castles；　nor

statues；　be　they　carved　never　so　well；　nor　rowing；　nor　sailing

galleys；　but　children。



Understand　me；　children　up　to　the　age　of　ten　years；　for　after　that

they　become　men　or　women；　and　cutting　their　wisdom　teeth；　are　not

worth　what　they　cost；　the　worst　are　the　best。　Watch　them　playing；

prettily　and　innocently；　with　slippers；　above　all；　cancellated　ones；

with　the　household　utensils；　leaving　that　which　displeases　them；

crying　after　that　which　pleases　them；　munching　the　sweets　and

confectionery　in　the　house；　nibbling　at　the　stores；　and　always

laughing　as　soon　as　their　teeth　are　cut；　and　you　will　agree　with　me

that　they　are　in　every　way　lovable；　besides　which　they　are　flower　and

fruitthe　fruit　of　love；　the　flower　of　life。　Before　their　minds　have

been　unsettled　by　the　disturbances　of　life；　there　is　nothing　in　this

world　more　blessed　or　more　pleasant　than　their　sayings；　which　are

naive　beyond　description。　This　is　as　true　as　the　double　chewing

machine　of　a　cow。　Do　not　expect　a　man　to　be　innocent　after　the　manner

of　children；　because　there　is　an；　I　know　not　what；　ingredient　of

reason　in　the　naivety　of　a　man；　while　the　naivety　of　children　is

candid；　immaculate；　and　has　all　the　finesse　of　the　mother；　which　is

plainly　proved　in　this　tale。



Queen　Catherine　was　at　that　time　Dauphine；　and　to　make　herself　welcome

to　the　king；　her　father…in…law；　who　at　that　time　was　very　ill　indeed；

presented　him；　from　time　to　time；　with　Italian　pictures；　knowing　that

he　liked　them　much；　being　a　friend　of　the　Sieur　Raphael　d'Urbin　and　of

the　Sieurs　Primatice　and　Leonardo　da　Vinci；　to　whom　he　sent　large　sums

of　money。　She　obtained　from　her　familywho　had　the　pick　of　these

works；　because　at　that　time　the　Duke　of　the　Medicis　governed　Tuscany

a　precious　picture；　painted　by　a　Venetian　named　Titian　（artist　to　the

Emperor　Charles；　and　in　very　high　flavour）；　in　which　there　were

portraits　of　Adam　and　Eve　at　the　moment　when　God　left　them　to　wander

about　the　terrestrial　Paradise；　and　were　painted　their　full　height；　in

the　costume　of　the　period；　in　which　it　is　difficult　to　make　a　mistake；

because　they　were　attired　in　their　ignorance；　and　caparisoned　with　the

divine　grace　which　enveloped　thema　difficult　thing　to　execute　on

account　of　the　colour；　but　one　in　which　the　said　Sieur　Titian

excelled。　The　picture　was　put　into　the　room　of　the　poor　king；　who　was

then　ill　with　the　disease　of　which　he　eventually　died。　It　had　a　great

success　at　the　Court　of　France；　where　everyone　wished　to　see　it；　but

no　one　was　able　to　until　after　the　king's　death；　since　at　his　desire

it　was　allowed　to　remain　in　his　room　as　long　as　he　lived。



One　day　Madame　Catherine　took　with　her　to　the　king's　room　her　son

Francis　and　little　Margot；　who　began　to　talk　at　random；　as　children

will。　Now　here；　now　there；　these　children　had　heard　this　picture　of

Adam　and　Eve　spoken　about；　and　had　tormented　their　mother　to　take　them

there。　Since　the　two　little　ones　at　times　amused　the　old　king；　Madame

the　Dauphine　consented　to　their　request。



〃You　wished　to　see　Adam　and　Eve；　who　were　our　first　parents；　there

they　are；〃　said　she。



Then　she　left　them　in　great　astonishment　before　Titian's　picture；　and

seated　herself　by　the　bedside　of　the　king；　who　delighted　to　watch　the

children。



〃Which　of　the　two　is　Adam？〃　said　Francis；　nudging　his　sister　Margot's

elbow。



〃You　silly！〃　replied　she；　〃to　know　that；　they　would　have　to　be

dressed！〃



This　reply；　which　delighted　the　poor　king　and　the　mother；　was

mentioned　in　a　letter　written　in　Florence　by　Queen　Catherine。



No　writer　having　brought　it　to　light；　it　will　remain；　like　a　sweet

flower；　in　a　corner　of　these　Tales；　although　it　is　no　way　droll；　and

there　is　no　other　moral　to　be　drawn　from　it　except　that　to　hear　these

pretty　speeches　of　infancy　one　must　beget　the　children。







THE　FAIR　IMPERIA　MARRIED



I

HOW　MADAME　IMPERIA　WAS　CAUGHT　BY　THE　VERY　NET　SHE　WAS

ACCUSTOMED　TO　SPREAD　FOR　HER　LOVE…BIRDS



The　lovely　lady　Imperia；　who　gloriously　opens　these　tales；　because　she

was　the　glory　of　her　time；　was　compelled　to　come　into　the　town　of

Rome；　after　the　holding　of　the　council；　for　the　cardinal　of　Ragusa

loved　her　more　than　his　cardinal's　hat；　and　wished　to　have　her　near

him。　This　rascal　was　so　magnificent；　that　he　presented　her　with　the

beautiful　palace　that　he　had　in　the　Papal　capital。　About　this　time　she

had　the　misfortune　to　find　herself　in　an　interesting　condition　by　this

cardinal。　As　everyone　knows；　this　pregnancy　finished　with　a　fine

little　daughter；　concerning　whom　the　Pope　said　jokingly　that　she

should　be　named　Theodora；　as　if　to　say　The　Gift　Of　God。　The　girl　was

thus　named；　and　was　exquisitely　lovely。　The　cardinal　left　his

inheritance　to　this　Theodora；　whom　the　fair　Imperia　established　in　her

hotel；　for　she　was　flying　from　Rome　as　from　a　pernicious　place；　where

children　were　begotten；　and　where　she　had　nearly　spoiled　her　beautiful

figure；　her　celebrated　perfections；　lines　of　the　body；　curves　of　the

back；　delicious　breasts；　and　Serpentine　charms　which　placed　her　as

much　above　the　other　women　of　Christendom　as　the　Holy　Father　was　above

all　other　Christians。　But　all　her　lovers　knew　that　with　the　assistance

of　eleven　doctors　of　Padua；　seven　master　surgeons　of　Pavia；　and　five

surgeons　come　from　all　parts；　who　assisted　at　her　confinement；　she　was

preserved　from　all　injury。　Some　go　so　far　as　to　say　that　she　gained

therein　superfineness　and　whiteness　of　skin。　A　famous　man；　of　the

school　of　Salerno；　wrote　a　book　on　the　subject；　to　show　the　value　of　a

confinement　for　the　freshness；　health；　preservation；　and　beauty　of

women。　In　this　very　learned　book　it　was　clearly　proved　to　readers　that

that　which　was　beautiful　to　see　in　Imperia；　was　that　which　it　was

permissible　for　lovers　alone　to　behold；　a　rare　case　then；　for　she　did

not　disarrange　her　attire　for　the　petty　German　princes　whom　she　called

her　margraves；　burgraves；　electors；　and　dukes；　just　as　a　captain　ranks

his　soldiers。



Everyone　knows　that　when　she　was　eighteen　years　of　age；　the　lovely

Theodora；　to　atone　for　her　mother's　gay　life；　wished　to　retire　into

the　bosom　of　the　Church。　With　this　idea　she　placed　herself　in　the

hands　of　a　cardinal；　in　order　that　he　might　instruct　her　in　the　duties

of　the　devout。　This　wicked　shepherd　found　the　lamb　so　magnificently

beautiful　that　he　attempted　to　debauch　her。　Theodora　instantly　stabbed

herself　with　a　stiletto；　in　order　not　to　be　contaminated　by　the　evil…

minded　priest。　This　adventure；　which　was　consigned　to　the　history　of

the　period；　made　a　great　commotion　in　Rome；　and　was　deplored　by

everyone；　so　much　was　the　daughter　of　Imperia　beloved。



Then　this　noble　courtesan；　much　afflicted；　returned　to　Rome；　there　to

weep　for　her　poor　daughter。　She　set　out　in　the　thirty…ninth　year　of

her　age；　which　was；　according　to　some　authors；　the　summer　of　her

magnificent　beauty；　because　then　she　had　obtained　the　acme　of

perfection；　like　ripe　fruit。　Sorrow　made　her　haughty　and　hard　with

those　who　spoke　to　her　of　love；　in　order　to　dry　her　tears。　The　pope

himself　visited　her　in　her　palace；　and　gave　her　certain　words　of

admonition。　But　she　refused　to　be　comforted；　saying　that　she　would

henceforth　devote　herself　to　God；　because　she　had　never　yet　been

satisfied　by　any　man；　although　she　had　ardently　desired　it；　and　all　of

them；　even　a　little　priest；　whom　she　had　adored　like　a　saint's　shrine；

had　deceived　her。　God；　she　was　sure；　would　not　do　so。



This　resolution　disconcerted　many；　for　she　was　the　joy　of　a　vast

number　of　lords。　So　that　people　ran　about　the　streets　of　Rome　crying

out；　〃Where　is　Madame　Imperia？　Is　she　going　to　deprive　the　world　of

love？〃　Some　of　the　ambassadors　wrote　to　their　masters　on　the　subject。

The　Emperor　of　the　Romans　was　much　cut　up　about　it；　because　he　had

loved　her　to　distraction　for　eleven　weeks；　had　left　her　only　to　go　to

the　wars；　and　loved　her　still　as　much　as　his　most　precious　member；

which　according　to　his　own　statement；　was　his　eye；　for　that　alone

embraced　the　whole　of　his　dear　Imperia。　In　this　extremity　the　Pope

sent　for　a　Spanish　physician；　and　conducted　him　to　the　beautiful

creature；　to　whom　he　proved；　by　various　arguments；　adorned　with　Latin

and　Greek　quotations；　that　beauty　is　impaired　by　tears　and

tribulation；　and　that　through　sorrow's　door　wrinkles　step　in。　This

proposition；　confirmed　by　the　doctors　of　the　Holy　College　in

controversy；　had　the　effect　of　opening　t