droll stories-3-第3部分
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pat the cat and pat the dog； to salute the friends； to flatter the
gout； or the cold of the aunt； to say to her at opportune moments 〃You
have good looks； and will yet write the epitaph of the human race。〃 To
please all the relations； to tread on no one's corns； to break no
glasses； to waste no breath； to talk nonsense； to hold ice in his
hand； to say； 〃This is good！〃 or； 〃Really； madam； you are very
beautiful so。〃 And to vary that in a hundred different ways。 To keep
himself cool； to bear himself like a nobleman； to have a free tongue
and a modest one； to endure with a smile all the evils the devil may
invent on his behalf； to smother his anger； to hold nature in control；
to have the finger of God； and the tail of the devil； to reward the
mother； the cousin； the servant； in fact； to put a good face on
everything。 In default of which the female escapes and leaves you in a
fix； without giving a single Christian reason。 In fact； the lover of
the most gentle maid that God ever created in a good…tempered moment；
had he talked like a book； jumped like a flea； turned about like dice；
played like King David； and built for the aforesaid woman the
Corinthian order of the columns of the devil； if he failed in the
essential and hidden thing which pleases his lady above all others；
which often she does not know herself and which he has need to know；
the lass leaves him like a red leper。 She is quite right。 No one can
blame her for so doing。 When this happens some men become ill…
tempered； cross； and more wretched than you can possibly imagine。 Have
not many of them killed themselves through this petticoat tyranny？ In
this matter the man distinguishes himself from the beast； seeing that
no animal ever yet lost his senses through blighted love； which proves
abundantly that animals have no souls。 The employment of a lover is
that of a mountebank； of a soldier； of a quack； of a buffoon； of a
prince； of a ninny； of a king； of an idler； of a monk； of a dupe； of a
blackguard； of a liar； of a braggart； of a sycophant； of a numskull；
of a frivolous fool； of a blockhead； of a know…nothing； of a knave。 An
employment from which Jesus abstained； in imitation of whom folks of
great understanding likewise disdain it； it is a vocation in which a
man of worth is required to spend above all things； his time； his
life； his blood； his best words； besides his heart； his soul； and his
brain； things to which the women are cruelly partial； because directly
their tongues begin to go； they say among themselves that if they have
not the whole of a man they have none of him。 Be sure； also； that
there are cats； who； knitting their eyebrows； complain that a man does
but a hundred things for them； for the purpose of finding out if there
be a hundred； at first seeing that in everything they desire the most
thorough spirit of conquest and tyranny。 And this high jurisprudence
has always flourished among the customs of Paris； where the women
receive more wit at their baptism than in any other place in the
world； and thus are mischievous by birth。
But our silversmith； always busy at his work； burnishing gold and
melting silver； had no time to warm his love or to burnish and make
shine his fantasies； nor to show off； gad about； waste his time in
mischief； or to run after she…males。 Now seeing that in Paris virgins
do not fall into the beds of young men any more than roast pheasants
into the streets； not even when the young men are royal silversmiths；
the Touranian had the advantage of having； as I have before observed；
a continent member in his shirt。 However； the good man could not close
his eyes to the advantage of nature with which were so amply furnished
the ladies with whom he dilated upon the value of his jewels。 So it
was that； after listening to the gentle discourse of the ladies； who
tried to wheedle and to fondle him to obtain a favour from him； the
good Touranian would return to his home； dreamy as a poet； wretched as
a restless cuckoo； and would say to himself； 〃I must take to myself a
wife。 She would keep the house tidy； keep the plates hot for me； fold
the clothes for me； sew my buttons on； sing merrily about the house；
tease me to do everything according to her taste； would say to me as
they all say to their husbands when they want a jewel； 'Oh； my own
pet； look at this； is it not pretty？' And every one in the quarter
will think of my wife and then of me； and say 'There's a happy man。'
Then the getting married； the bridal festivities； to fondle Madame
Silversmith； to dress her superbly； give her a fine gold chain； to
worship her from crown to toe； to give her the whole management of the
house； except the cash； to give her a nice little room upstairs； with
good windows； pretty； and hung around with tapestry； with a wonderful
chest in it and a fine large bed； with twisted columns and curtains of
yellow silk。 He would buy her beautiful mirrors； and there would
always be a dozen or so of children； his and hers； when he came home
to greet him。〃 Then wife and children would vanish into the clouds。 He
transferred his melancholy imaginings to fantastic designs； fashioned
his amorous thoughts into grotesque jewels that pleased their buyers
well； they not knowing how many wives and children were lost in the
productions of the good man； who； the more talent he threw into his
art； the more disordered he became。 Now if God had not had pity upon
him； he would have quitted this world without knowing what love was；
but would have known it in the other without that metamorphosis of the
flesh which spares it； according to Monsieur Plato； a man of some
authority； but who； not being a Christian； was wrong。 But； there！
these preparatory digressions are the idle digressions and fastidious
commentaries which certain unbelievers compel a man to wind about a
tale； swaddling clothes about an infant when it should run about stark
naked。 May the great devil give them a clyster with his red…hot three…
pronged fork。 I am going on with my story now without further
circumlocution。
This is what happened to the silversmith in the one…and…fortieth year
of his age。 One Sabbath…day while walking on the left bank of the
Seine； led by an idle fancy； he ventured as far as that meadow which
has since been called the Pre…aux…Clercs and which at that time was in
the domain of the abbey of St。 Germain； and not in that of the
University。 There； still strolling on the Touranian found himself in
the open fields； and there met a poor young girl who； seeing that he
was well…dressed； curtsied to him； saying 〃Heaven preserve you；
monseigneur。〃 In saying this her voice had such sympathetic sweetness
that the silversmith felt his soul ravished by this feminine melody；
and conceived an affection for the girl； the more so as； tormented
with ideas of marriage as he was； everything was favourable thereto。
Nevertheless； as he had passed the wench by he dared not go back；
because he was as timid as a young maid who would die in her
petticoats rather than raise them for her pleasure。 But when he was a
bowshot off he bethought him that he was a man who for ten years had
been a master silversmith； had become a citizen； and was a man of
mark； and could look a woman in the face if his fancy so led him； the
more so as his imagination had great power over him。 So he turned
suddenly back； as if he had changed the direction of his stroll； and
came upon the girl； who held by an old cord her poor cow； who was
munching grass that had grown on the border of a ditch at the side of
the road。
〃Ah； my pretty one；〃 said he； 〃you are not overburdened with the goods
of this world that you thus work with your hands upon the Lord's Day。
Are you not afraid of being cast into prison？〃
〃Monseigneur；〃 replied the maid； casting down her eyes； 〃I have
nothing to fear； because I belong to the abbey。 The Lord Abbot has
given me leave to exercise the cow after vespers。〃
〃You love your cow； then； more than the salvation of your soul？〃
〃Ah； monseigneur； our beast is almost the half of our poor lives。〃
〃I am astonished； my girl； to see you poor and in rags； clothed like a
fagot； running barefoot about the fields on the Sabbath； when you
carry about you more treasures than you could dig up in the grounds of
the abbey。 Do not the townspeople pursue； and torment you with love？〃
〃Oh； never monseigneur。 I belong to the abbey〃； replied she； showing
the jeweller a collar on her left arm like those that the beasts of
the field have； but without the little bell； and at the same time
casting such a deplorable glance at our townsman that he was stricken
quite sad； for by the eyes are communicated contagions of the heart
when they are strong。
〃And what does this mean？〃 he said； wishing to hear all about it。
And he touched the collar； upon which was engraved the arms of the
abbey very distinctly； but which he did not wish to see。
〃Monseign
