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distaste and aversion; instead of pleasure。  With some of these

situations; such as Barnes; Mortlake; etc。; even the shore of

Essex might contend; not upon very unequal terms; but on the

Kentish borders there are many spots to be chosen by the builder

which might justly claim the preference over almost the very

finest of those in Middlesex and Surrey。



How shall we account for this depravity in taste? for surely

there are none so very mean and contemptible as to bring the

pleasure of seeing a number of little wherries; gliding along

after one another; in competition with what we enjoy in viewing a

succession of ships; with all their sails expanded to the winds;

bounding over the waves before us。



And here I cannot pass by another observation on the deplorable

want of taste in our enjoyments; which we show by almost totally

neglecting the pursuit of what seems to me the highest degree of

amusement; this is; the sailing ourselves in little vessels of

our own; contrived only for our ease and accommodation; to which

such situations of our villas as I have recommended would be so

convenient; and even necessary。



This amusement; I confess; if enjoyed in any perfection; would be

of the expensive kind; but such expense would not exceed the

reach of a moderate fortune; and would fall very short of the

prices which are daily paid for pleasures of a far inferior rate。



The truth; I believe; is; that sailing in the manner I have just

mentioned is a pleasure rather unknown; or unthought of; than

rejected by those who have experienced it; unless; perhaps; the

apprehension of danger or seasickness may be supposed; by the

timorous and delicate; to make too large deductionsinsisting

that all their enjoyments shall come to them pure and unmixed;

and being ever ready to cry out;



Nocet empta dolore voluptas。



This; however; was my present case; for the ease and lightness

which I felt from my tapping; the gayety of the morning; the

pleasant sailing with wind and tide; and the many agreeable

objects with which I was constantly entertained during the whole

way; were all suppressed and overcome by the single consideration

of my wife's pain; which continued incessantly to torment her

till we came to an anchor; when I dispatched a messenger in great

haste for the best reputed operator in Gravesend。  A surgeon of

some eminence now appeared; who did not decline tooth…drawing;

though he certainly would have been offended with the appellation

of tooth…drawer no less than his brethren; the members of that

venerable body; would be with that of barber; since the late

separation between those long…united companies; by which; if the

surgeons have gained much; the barbers are supposed to have lost

very little。  This able and careful person (for so I sincerely

believe he is) after examining the guilty tooth; declared that it

was such a rotten shell; and so placed at the very remotest end

of the upper jaw; where it was in a manner covered and secured by

a large fine firm tooth; that he despaired of his power of

drawing it。



He said; indeed; more to my wife; and used more rhetoric to

dissuade her from having it drawn; than is generally employed to

persuade young ladies to prefer a pain of three moments to one of

three months' continuance; especially if those young ladies

happen to be past forty and fifty years of age; when; by

submitting to support a racking torment; the only good

circumstance attending which is; it is so short that scarce one

in a thousand can cry out 〃I feel it;〃 they are to do a violence

to their charms; and lose one of those beautiful holders with

which alone Sir Courtly Nice declares a lady can ever lay hold of

his heart。  He said at last so much; and seemed to reason so

justly; that I came over to his side; and assisted him in

prevailing on my wife (for it was no easy matter) to resolve on

keeping her tooth a little longer; and to apply palliatives only

for relief。  These were opium applied to the tooth; and blisters

behind the ears。



Whilst we were at dinner this day in the cabin; on a sudden the

window on one side was beat into the room with a crash as if a

twenty…pounder had been discharged among us。  We were all alarmed

at the suddenness of the accident; for which; however; we were

soon able to account; for the sash; which was shivered all to

pieces; was pursued into the middle of the cabin by the bowsprit

of a little ship called a cod…smack; the master of which made us

amends for running (carelessly at best) against us; and injuring

the ship; in the sea…way; that is to say; by damning us all to

hell; and uttering several pious wishes that it had done us much

more mischief。  All which were answered in their own kind and

phrase by our men; between whom and the other crew a dialogue of

oaths and scurrility was carried on as long as they continued in

each other's hearing。



It is difficult; I think; to assign a satisfactory reason why

sailors in general should; of all others; think themselves

entirely discharged from the common bands of humanity; and should

seem to glory in the language and behavior of savages! They see

more of the world; and have; most of them; a more erudite

education than is the portion of landmen of their degree。  Nor do

I believe that in any country they visit (Holland itself not

excepted) they can ever find a parallel to what daily passes on

the river Thames。  Is it that they think true courage (for they

are the bravest fellows upon earth) inconsistent with all the

gentleness of a humane carriage; and that the contempt of civil

order springs up in minds but little cultivated; at the same time

and from the same principles with the contempt of danger and

death? Is it? in short; it is so; and how it comes to be so I

leave to form a question in the Robin Hood Society; or to he

propounded for solution among the enigmas in the Woman's Almanac

for the next year。



Monday; July 1。This day Mr。 Welch took his leave of me after

dinner; as did a young lady of her sister; who was proceeding

with my wife to Lisbon。  They both set out together in a

post…chaise for London。  Soon after their departure our cabin;

where my wife and I were sitting together; was visited by two

ruffians; whose appearance greatly corresponded with that of the

sheriffs; or rather the knight…marshal's bailiffs。  One of

these especially; who seemed to affect a more than ordinary

degree of rudeness and insolence; came in without any kind of

ceremony; with a broad gold lace on his hat; which was cocked

with much military fierceness on his head。  An inkhorn at his

buttonhole and some papers in his hand sufficiently assured me

what he was; and I asked him if he and his companion were not

custom…house officers:  he answered with sufficient dignity that

they were; as an information which he seemed to conclude would

strike the hearer with awe; and suppress all further inquiry;

but; on the contrary; I proceeded to ask of what rank he was in

the custom…house; and; receiving an answer from his companion; as

I remember; that the gentleman was a riding surveyor; I replied

that he might be a riding surveyor; but could be no gentleman;

for that none who had any title to that denomination would break

into the presence of a lady without an apology or even moving his

hat。  He then took his covering from his head and laid it on the

table; saying; he asked pardon; and blamed the mate; who should;

he said; have informed him if any persons of distinction were

below。  I told him he might guess by our appearance (which;

perhaps; was rather more than could be said with the strictest

adherence to truth) that he was before a gentleman and lady;

which should teach him to be very civil in his behavior; though

we should not happen to be of that number whom the world calls

people of fashion and distinction。  However; I said; that as he

seemed sensible of his error; and had asked pardon; the lady

would permit him to put his hat on again if he chose it。  This he

refused with some degree of surliness; and failed not to convince

me that; if I should condescend to become more gentle; he would

soon grow more rude。  I now renewed a reflection; which I have

often seen occasion to make; that there is nothing so incongruous

in nature as any kind of power with lowness of mind and of

ability; and that there is nothing more deplorable than the want

of truth in the whimsical notion of Plato; who tells us that

〃Saturn; well knowing the state of human affairs; gave us kings

and rulers; not of human but divine original; for; as we make not

shepherds of sheep; nor oxherds of oxen; nor goatherds of goats;

but place some of our own kind over all as being better and

fitter to govern them; in the same manner were demons by the

divine love set over us as a race of beings of a superior order

to men; and who; with great ease to themselves; might regulate

our affairs and

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