an unsocial socialist-第30部分

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particular；　by　her　determination　not　to　speak　of　the　misconduct
of　Trefusis；　which　was　now　the　prevailing　topic　of　conversation
in　the　family。　She　listened　in　silence　to　gossiping　discussions
of　his　desertion　of　his　wife；　his　heartless　indifference　to　her
decease；　his　violence　and　bad　language　by　her　deathbed；　his
parsimony；　his　malicious　opposition　to　the　wishes　of　the
Janseniuses；　his　cheap　tombstone　with　the　insulting　epitaph；　his
association　with　common　workmen　and　low　demagogues；　his　suspected
connection　with　a　secret　society　for　the　assassination　of　the
royal　family　and　blowing　up　of　the　army；　his　atheistic　denial；　in
a　pamphlet　addressed　to　the　clergy；　of　a　statement　by　the
Archbishop　of　Canterbury　that　spiritual　aid　alone　could　improve
the　condition　of　the　poor　in　the　East…end　of　London；　and　the
crowning　disgrace　of　his　trial　for　seditious　libel　at　the　Old
Bailey；　where　he　was　condemned　to　six　months'　imprisonment；　a
penalty　from　which　he　was　rescued　by　the　ingenuity　of　his
counsel；　who　discovered　a　flaw　in　the　indictment；　and　succeeded；
at　great　cost　to　Trefusis；　in　getting　the　sentence　quashed。
Agatha　at　last　got　tired　of　hearing　of　his　misdeeds。　She　believed
him　to　be　heartless；　selfish；　and　misguided；　but　she　knew　that　he
was　not　the　loud；　coarse；　sensual；　and　ignorant　brawler　most　of
her　mother's　gossips　supposed　him　to　be。　She　even　felt；　in　spite
of　herself；　an　emotion　of　gratitude　to　the　few　who　ventured　to
defend　him。

Preparation　for　her　first　season　helped　her　to　forget　her
misadventure。　She　〃came　out〃　in　due　time；　and　an　extremely　dull
season　she　found　it。　So　much　so；　that　she　sometimes　asked　herself
whether　she　should　ever　be　happy　again。　At　the　college　there　had
been　good　fellowship；　fun；　rules；　and　duties　which　were　a　source
of　strength　when　observed　and　a　source　of　delicious　excitement
when　violated；　freedom　from　ceremony；　toffee　making；　flights　on
the　banisters；　and　appreciative　audiences　for　the　soldier　in　the
chimney。

In　society　there　were　silly　conversations　lasting　half　a　minute；
cool　acquaintanceships　founded　on　such　half…minutes；　general
reciprocity　of　suspicion；　overcrowding；　insufficient　ventilation；
bad　music　badly　executed；　late　hours；　unwholesome　food；
intoxicating　liquors；　jealous　competition　in　useless　expenditure；
husband…hunting；　flirting；　dancing；　theatres；　and　concerts。　The
last　three；　which　Agatha　liked；　helped　to　make　the　contrast
between　Alton　and　London　tolerable　to　her；　but　they　had　their
drawbacks；　for　good　partners　at　the　dances；　and　good　performances
at　the　spiritless　opera　and　concerts；　were　disappointingly
scarce。　Flirting　she　could　not　endure；　she　drove　men　away　when
they　became　tender；　seeing　in　them　the　falsehood　of　Smilash
without　his　wit。　She　was　considered　rude　by　the　younger　gentlemen
of　her　circle。　They　discussed　her　bad　manners　among　themselves；
and　agreed　to　punish　her　by　not　asking　her　to　dance。　She　thus　got
rid；　without　knowing　why；　of　the　attentions　she　cared　for　least
（she　retained　a　schoolgirl's　cruel　contempt　for　〃boys〃）；　and
enjoyed　herself　as　best　she　could　with　such　of　the　older　or　more
sensible　men　as　were　not　intolerant　of　girls。

At　best　the　year　was　the　least　happy　she　had　ever　spent。　She
repeatedly　alarmed　her　mother　by　broaching　projects　of　becoming　a
hospital　nurse；　a　public　singer；　or　an　actress。　These　projects
led　to　some　desultory　studies。　In　order　to　qualify　herself　as　a
nurse　she　read　a　handbook　of　physiology；　which　Mrs。　Wylie　thought
so　improper　a　subject　for　a　young　lady　that　she　went　in　tears　to
beg　Mrs。　Jansenius　to　remonstrate　with　her　unruly　girl。　Mrs。
Jansenius；　better　advised；　was　of　opinion　that　the　more　a　woman
knew　the　more　wisely　she　was　likely　to　act；　and　that　Agatha　would
soon　drop　the　physiology　of　her　own　accord。　This　proved　true。
Agatha；　having　finished　her　book　by　dint　of　extensive　skipping；
proceeded　to　study　pathology　from　a　volume　of　clinical　lectures。
Finding　her　own　sensations　exactly　like　those　described　in　the
book　as　symptoms　of　the　direst　diseases；　she　put　it　by　in　alarm；
and　took　up　a　novel；　which　was　free　from　the　fault　she　had　found
in　the　lectures；　inasmuch　as　none　of　the　emotions　it　described　in
the　least　resembled　any　she　had　ever　experienced。

After　a　brief　interval；　she　consulted　a　fashionable　teacher　of
singing　as　to　whether　her　voice　was　strong　enough　for　the
operatic　stage。　He　recommended　her　to　study　with　him　for　six
years；　assuring　her　that　at　the　end　of　that　periodif　she
followed　his　directionsshe　should　be　the　greatest　singer　in　the
world。　To　this　there　was；　in　her　mind；　the　conclusive　objection
that　in　six　years　she　should　be　an　old　woman。　So　she　resolved　to
try　privately　whether　she　could　not　get　on　more　quickly　by
herself。　Meanwhile；　with　a　view　to　the　drama　in　case　her　operatic
scheme　should　fail；　she　took　lessons　in　elocution　and　gymnastics。
Practice　in　these　improved　her　health　and　spirits　so　much　that
her　previous　aspirations　seemed　too　limited。　She　tried　her　hand
at　all　the　arts　in　succession；　but　was　too　discouraged　by　the
weakness　of　her　first　attempts　to　persevere。　She　knew　that　as　a
general　rule　there　are　feeble　and　ridiculous　beginnings　to　all
excellence；　but　she　never　applied　general　rules　to　her　own　case；
still　thinking　of　herself　as　an　exception　to　them；　just　as　she
had　done　when　she　romanced　about　Smilash。　The　illusions　of
adolescence　were　thick　upon　her。

Meanwhile　her　progress　was　creating　anxieties　in　which　she　had　no
share。　Her　paroxysms　of　exhilaration；　followed　by　a　gnawing　sense
of　failure　and　uselessness；　were　known　to　her　mother　only　as
〃wildness〃　and　〃low　spirits；〃　to　be　combated　by　needlework　as　a
sedative；　or　beef　tea　as　a　stimulant。　Mrs。　Wylie　had　learnt　by
rote　that　the　whole　duty　of　a　lady　is　to　be　graceful；　charitable；
helpful；　modest；　and　disinterested　whilst　awaiting　passively
whatever　lot　these　virtues　may　induce。　But　she　had　learnt　by
experience　that　a　lady's　business　in　society　is　to　get　married；
and　that　virtues　and　accomplishments　alike　are　important　only　as
attractions　to　eligible　bachelors。　As　this　truth　is　shameful；
young　ladies　are　left　for　a　year　or　two　to　find　it　out　for
themselves；　it　is　seldom　explicitly　conveyed　to　them　at　their
entry　into　society。　Hence　they　often　throw　away　capital　bargains
in　their　first　season；　and　are　compelled　to　offer　themselves　at
greatly　reduced　prices　subsequently；when　their　attractions　begin
to　stale。　This　was　the　fate　which　Mrs。　Wylie；　warned　by　Mrs。
Jansenius；　feared　for　Agatha；　who；　time　after　time　when　a　callow
gentleman　of　wealth　and　position　was　introduced　to　her；　drove　him
brusquely　away　as　soon　as　he　ventured　to　hint　that　200

his　affections　were　concerned　in　their　acquaintanceship。　The
anxious　mother　had　to　console　herself　with　the　fact　that　her
daughter　drove　away　the　ineligible　as　ruthlessly　as　the　eligible；
formed　no　unworldly　attachments；　was　still　very　young；　and　would
grow　less　coy　as　she　advanced　in　years　and　in　what　Mrs。　Jansenius
called　sense。

But　as　the　seasons　went　by　it　remained　questionable　whether
Agatha　was　the　more　to　be　congratulated　on　having　begun　life
after　leaving　school　or　Henrietta　on　having　finished　it。



CHAPTER　XI

Brandon　Beeches；　in　the　Thames　valley；　was　the　seat　of　Sir
Charles　Brandon；　seventh　baronet　of　that　name。　He　had　lost　his
father　before　attaining　his　majority；　and　had　married　shortly
afterwards；　so　that　in　his　twenty…fifth　year　he　was　father　to
three　children。　He　was　a　little　worn；　in　spite　of　his　youth；　but
he　was　tall　and　agreeable；　had　a　winning　way　of　taking　a　kind　and
soothing　view　of　the　misfortunes　of　others；　could　tell　a　story
well；　liked　music　and　could　play　and　sing　a　little；　loved　the
arts　of　design　and　could　sketch　a　little　in　water　colors；　read
every　magazine　from　London　to　Paris　that　criticised　pictures；　had
travelled　a　little；　fished　a　little；　shot　a　little；　botanized　a
little；　wandered　restlessly　in　the　footsteps　of　women；　and
dissipated　his　energies　through　all　the　small　channels　that　his
wealth　opened　and　his　talents　made　easy　to　him。　He　had　no　large
knowledge　of　any　subject；　though　he　had　looked　into　many　just　far
enough　to　replace　absolute　unconsciousness　of　them　with
measurable　ignorance。　Never　having　enjoyed　the　sense　of
achievement；　he　was　troubled　with　unsatisfied　aspirations　that
filled　him　with　melancholy　and　convinced　him　that　he　was　a　born
artist。　His　wife　found　him　selfish；　peevish；　hankering　after
change；　and　prone　to　believe　that　he　was　attacked　by　dangerous
disease　when　he　was　only　catching　cold。

Lady　Brandon；　who　believed　that　he　understood　all　the　subjects　he
talked　about　because　she　did　not　understand　them　herself；　was　one
of　his　disappointments。　In　person　she　resembled　none　of　the　types
of　beauty　striven　after　by　the　painters　of　her　time；　but　she　had
charms　to　which　few　men　are　insensible。　She　was　tall；　soft；　and
stout；　with　ample　and　shapely　arms；　shoulders；　and　hips。　With　her
small　head；　little　ears；　pretty　lips；　and　roguish　eye；　she；　being
a　very　large　creature；　presented　an　immensity　of　half　womanly；
half　infantile　loveliness　which　smote　even　grave　men　with　a
desire　to　clasp　her　in　their　arms　a