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第43部分

the turmoil-第43部分

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don't want to change anything。〃



〃Why not?〃



Bibbs had the incredible folly to try to explain。  〃I'll tell you; father; if

I can。  I know it may be hard to understand〃



〃Yes; I think it may be;〃 said Sheridan; grimly。  〃What you say usually is a

LITTLE that way。  Go on!〃



Perturbed and distressed; Bibbs rose instinctively; he felt himself at every

possible disadvantage。  He was a sleeper clinging to a dreama rough hand

stretched to shake him and waken him。  He went to a table and made vague

drawings upon it with a finger; and as he spoke he kept his eyes lowered。

〃You weren't altogether right about the shopthat is; in one way you weren't;

father。〃  He glanced up apprehensively。  Sheridan stood facing him;

expressionless; and made no attempt to interrupt。 〃That's difficult to

explain;〃 Bibbs continued; lowering his eyes again; to follow the tracings of

his finger。  〃II believe the shop might have done for me this time if I

hadn'tif something hadn't helped me to oh; not only to bear it; but to be

happy in it。  Well; I AM happy in it。 I want to go on just as I am。  And of

all things on earth that I don't want; I don't want to live a business lifeI

don't want to be drawn into it。 I don't think it IS livingand now I AM

living。  I have the healthful toiland I can think。  In business as important

as yours I couldn't think anything but business。  I don'tI don't think

making money is worth while。〃



〃Go on;〃 said Sheridan; curtly; as Bibbs paused timidly。



〃It hasn't seemed to get anywhere; that I can see;〃 said Bibbs。  〃You think

this city is rich and powerfulbut what's the use of its being rich and

powerful?  They don't teach the children any more in the schools because the

city is rich and powerful。  They teach them more than they used to because

some peoplenot rich and powerful peoplehave thought the thoughts to teach

the children。  And yet when you've been reading the paper I've heard you

objecting to the children being taught anything except what would help them to

make money。  You said it was wasting the taxes。  You want them taught to make

a living; but not to live。  When I was a little boy this wasn't an ugly town;

now it's hideous。 What's the use of being big just to be hideous?  I mean I

don't think all this has meant really going aheadit's just been getting

bigger and dirtier and noisier。  Wasn't the whole country happier and in many

ways wiser when it was smaller and cleaner and quieter and kinder?  I know you

think I'm an utter fool; father; but; after all; though; aren't business and

politics just the housekeeping part of life?  And wouldn't you despise a woman

that not only made her housekeeping her ambition; but did it so noisily and

dirtily that the whole neighborhood was in a continual turmoil over it?  And

supposed she talked and thought about her housekeeping all the time; and was

always having additions built to her house when she couldn't keep clean what

she already had; and suppose; with it all; she made the house altogether

unpeaceful and unlivable〃



〃Just one minute!〃  Sheridan interrupted; adding; with terrible courtesy; 〃If

you will permit me?  Have you ever been right about anything?〃



〃I don't quite〃



〃I ask the simple question: Have you ever been right about anything whatever

in the course of your life?  Have you ever been right upon any subject or

question you've thought about and talked about?  Can you mention one single

time when you were proved to be right?〃



He was flourishing the bandaged hand as he spoke; but Bibbs said only; 〃If

I've always been wrong before; surely there's more chance that I'm right about

this。  It seems reasonable to suppose something would be due to bring up my

average。〃



〃Yes; I thought you wouldn't see the point。  And there's another you probably

couldn't see; but I'll take the liberty to mention it。  You been balkin' all

your life。  Pretty much everything I ever wanted you to do; you'd let out SOME

kind of a holler; like you are nowand yet I can't seem to remember once when

you didn't have to lay down and do what I said。 But go on with your remarks

about our city and the business of this country。  Go on!〃



〃I don't want to be a part of it;〃 said Bibbs; with unwonted decision。  〃I

want to keep to myself; and I'm doing it now。  I couldn't; if I went down

there with you。  I'd be swallowed into it。  I don't care for money enought

to〃



〃No;〃 his father interrupted; still dangerously quiet。  〃You've never had to

earn a living。  Anybody could tell that by what you say。  Now; let me remind

you: you're sleepin' in a pretty good bed; you're eatin' pretty fair food;

you're wearin' pretty fine clothes。  Just suppose one o' these noisy

housekeepersme; for instancedecided to let you do your own housekeepin'。

May I ask what your proposition would be?〃



〃I'm earning nine dollars a week;〃 said Bibbs; sturdily。  〃It's enough。  I

shouldn't mind at all。〃



〃Who's payin' you that nine dollars a week?〃



〃My work!〃 Bibbs answered。  〃And I've done so well on that clipping…machine I

believe I could work up to fifteen or even twenty a week at another job。  I

could be a fair plumber in a few months; I'm sure。 I'd rather have a trade

than be in businessI should; infinitely!〃



〃You better set about learnin' one pretty dam' quick!〃  But Sheridan struggled

with his temper and again was partially successful in controlling it。  〃You

better learn a trade over Sunday; because you're either goin' down with me to

my office Monday morningoryou can go to plumbing!〃



〃All right;〃 said Bibbs; gently。  〃I can get along。〃



Sheridan raised his hands sardonically; as in prayer。  〃O God;〃 he said; 〃this

boy was crazy enough before he began to earn his nine dollars a week; and now

his money's gone to his head!  Can't You do nothin' for him?〃  Then he flung

his hands apart; palms outward; in a furious gesture of dismissal。  〃Get out

o' this room!  You got a skull that's thicker'n a whale's thigh…bone; but it's

cracked spang all the way across!  You hated the machine…shop so bad when I

sent you there; you went and stayed sick for over two yearsand now; when I

offer to take you out of it and give you the mint; you holler for the shop

like a calf for its mammy!  You're cracked!  Oh; but I got a fine layout here!

One son died; one quit; and one's a loon!  The loon's all I got left!  H。 P。

Ellersly's wife had a crazy brother; and they undertook to keep him at the

house。  First morning he was there he walked straight though a ten…dollar

plate…glass window out into the yard。  He says; 'Oh; look at the pretty

dandelion!'  That's what you're doin'!  You want to spend your life sayin';

'Oh; look at the pretty dandelion!' and you don't care a tinker's dam' what

you bust!  Well; mister; loon or no loon; cracked and crazy or whatever you

are; I'll take you with me Monday morning; and I'll work you and learn

youyes; and I'll lam you; if I got tountil I've made something out of you

that's fit to be called a business man!  I'll keep at you while I'm able to

stand; and if I have to lay down to die I'll be whisperin' at you till they

get the embalmin'…fluid into me!  Now go on; and don't let me hear from you

again till you can come and tell me you've waked up; you poor; pitiful;

dandelion…pickin' SLEEP…WALKER!〃



Bibbs gave him a queer look。  There was something like reproach in it; for

once; but there was more than thathe seemed to be startled by his father's

last word。





There was sleet that evening; with a whopping wind; but neither this storm nor

that other which so imminently threatened him held place in the consciousness

of Bibbs Sheridan when he came once more to the presence of Mary。  All was

right in his world has he sat with her; reading Maurice Maeterlinck's Alladine

and Palomides。  The sorrowful light of the gas…jet might have been May morning

sunshine flashing amber and rose through the glowing windows of the

Sainte…Chapelle; it was so bright for Bibbs。  And while the zinc…eater held

out to bring him such golden nights as these; all the king's horses and all

the king's men might not serve to break the spell。



Bibbs read slowly; but in a reasonable manner; as if he were talking; and

Mary; looking at him steadily from beneath her curved fingers; appeared to

discover no fault。  It had grown to be her habit to look at him whenever there

was an opportunity。  It may be said; in truth; that while they were together;

and it was light; she looked at him all the time。



When he came to the end of Alladine and Palomides they were silent a little

while; considering together; then he turned back the pages and said:  〃There's

something I want to read over。  This:



       You would think I threw a window open on the dawn。。。She has a soul

       that can be seen around herthat takes you in its arms like an

       ailing child and without saying anything to you consoles you for

       everything。。。。  I s

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