on the firing line-第29部分
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had left them。 In its place was an infinite； contented love； an absolute trust。
The girl nerved herself to meet his eyes。 Then she drew her own eyes away； to give another hasty； appealing glance up into Weldon's paling face。 For him； as for her； the moment was all unexpected。 For him； as for her； there was need of all the reserve strength in life to go through it honorably and without flinching。
Up to that very hour； no thought of Leo Frazer's love had crossed the mind of Ethel Dent。 They had been friends； good comrades； meeting often and always with much pleasure。 She had acknowledged to herself； long since； that he was a man among men； she honored him； admired him； cared for him as she might have cared for an only brother。 Beyond that； she could not go。 Moreover； it had never occurred to her that Captain Frazer could mistake her attitude to himself； could differentiate her light； bright cordiality from the cordiality she showed to other men。 When she had met him first； she had been a mere girl in character and experience； love had had scant place in her girlish dreams。 Later； Weldon had come into her life。 His coming had changed many things for her； but it had made no change in her attitude to the Captain。 She was now； as always； his loyal； admiring friend； no less； no more。 She had supposed that he had felt the same loyal friendship for her。 Too late； she realized her mistake。
〃You must have known it all； Ethel；〃 the Captain was saying steadily； 〃how my whole life has seemed to go into yours。 I have never told you。 I was sure you knew it； without any telling； and I have been waiting until the war was over； before asking you to go home with me； as my wife。 The〃 he caught his breath sharply； 〃the war is over for me now； dearest。 I can't ask you to go home with me； butTell me； Ethel； I have not been mistaken； all these months？ You have cared for me； as I have cared for you？〃 The last words came out with the roundness of tone he had used in health； but there was a weary drag to the hand that drew her hand still nearer to his cheek。 Ethel faltered。 Then； soldier…like； she braced herself to fight to a finish。 It was not her fault that the man had mistaken her friendly； cordial liking for something deeper； infinitely more lasting。 She had never consciously played with him； never sought to win his love。 Blame there was none； it was all only a mistake； albeit a terrible one。 Nevertheless
Desperately she glanced up from the blue eyes； still so wishfully fixed upon her own； up to the drawn； white face of the haggard man on the farther side of the bed。 In that instant； the girl fought madly with herself。 Then her eyes dropped back to the bed once more。 Eternity and time； a final short； comforting word to the one； a long explanation to the other。 The mistake； if mistake there were； had been all of her doing。 Bravely she would take the bitter consequences。 Captain Frazer's day was passing fast。 The night remained for her talk with Weldon。 Her eyes dropped back to the bed； and her hand yielded itself to the pressure of the ice…cold fingers。
〃Yes；〃 she said slowly and so faintly that Weldon； standing breathless； could scarcely hear the words； 〃I have cared for you； as you have cared for me。〃
The fingers tightened over her hand； but the lids drooped heavily above the dark blue eyes。
〃Dearestgirl。〃 Then； smiling to himself； Captain Leo Frazer fell asleep。 The next moment counted itself out by slow seconds。 Then Ethel raised her head and turned to smile drearily up at Weldon。
Instead； she found herself smiling up at an empty wall。 Harvard Weldon had vanished and had left for her no word of farewell。
CHAPTER TWENTY
Up Commissioner Street and down Commissioner Street and around and around Market Square tramped a haggard man in khaki who surveyed all things with dull； unseeing eyes。 On his cheek； an inch or so above his stubbly beard； was a wide cross of plaster； and his left wrist wore a narrow bandage。 He walked with quick； nervous strides； yet every now and then he halted to rest for a moment。 Then he hurried on again； as if pursued by some unseen； but malignant foe。
Twice he turned northward and paused before the hospital； staring irresolutely up at the lighted windows。 Then； facing about abruptly； he moved on； swiftly； but with the mechanical tread of a man in a dream。 Once he found himself resting on the steps of the Jewish synagogue。 The next time he roused himself to take note of his surroundings； he was at the Berea Estate； following Hospital Hill straight to the eastward。 It was then that he had turned about and faced back to the hospital。 A scant half…dozen hours before； that hospital had held what was all the world to him。 Now； without warning； that all had proved to be naught。
The blow had come crashing upon him； straight between the eyes and so suddenly that there had been no time for him to brace himself to meet it。 From the moment of his facing Ethel in the doorway of the hospital； that noon； he had been sure that the talk which he would have with her； that evening； could bring but the one ending。 At sight of the soiled and haggard man before her； her blue eyes had lighted with something far more than pleased surprise。 His appearing had been quite unexpected； her meeting with him had been the naked impulse of her girlish heart。 And； all that endless day； her grief for the Captain had in no way hidden her evident pleasure in his own presence。 And then； all at once； had come the end； unexpected and hence doubly crushing。 His young； newborn happiness was as little strong to bear the blow as were his exhausted body and his shattered nerve。 Like a wild beast wounded to the death； he had crept silently away； to go through his agony； unseen。
Standing under the fierce glare of the electric light by the hospital gate； his appearance would wellnigh have baffled the recognition of his mother。 Soiled and stained and tattered； his head sunk between his shoulders； he looked a feeble man of middle years。 Dark shadows lay around his heavy gray eyes； and the corners of his mouth drooped pitifully。 And； somewhere inside that building； was the girl who had snatched away from him what was dearer than life itself。 For six long months she had been the incentive to all of his best work； it had been her influence which finally had led him to come back into the firing line； it had been in the hope for the future； a hope growing less and less vague as the months passed by； that he had been willing and glad to prolong his stay through one more torrid African summer。 And to what end？
Strange to say； it never once occurred to him to try to win her love now； after all that bad passed。 Still less did it occur to him to doubt the truth of her final words to the Captain。 Weldon had missed the look of appealing anguish in the blue eyes which she had lifted to his； but he had heard the low； steady voice； had seen the pressure of the living fingers answer to the slight movement of the hand already growing cold。 He had heard； and seen。 It was enough。 Always he had believed implicitly in Ethel's truth。 There was no reason he should distrust her now。 It was only that he had been an egregious ass to think that be could win her love； in the face of a man like Captain Leo Frazer。 With a mighty effort； he straightened his shoulders； faced the wing where he knew the Captain would now be lying and reverently removed his hat。 Then； for one last time； his eyes swept over the building and； turning away； he crawled off towards the railway station。
And； meanwhile； alone in a room behind one of those brightly…lighted windows； a girl sat huddled together； her crossed arms on her knees and her face buried in her arms； while she wailed to herself over and over again；
〃He might have waited！ He might have waited！ My God in heaven； what have I done？ But at least he might have waited！〃
A commissariat train was leaving Johannesburg at two o'clock the next morning。 His pass in his hand； Weldon clambered drearily on the train for the long ride back to Kroonstad。 Motion of any kind was better than remaining longer in Johannesburg。 Nevertheless； the jolting of the train was wellnigh unbearable。 His shoulder throbbed； and the dull pain in his head was maddening。 He had passed the stage of weariness； however； where one is conscious of exhaustion。 An ever…tightening strain was upon him。 He could not rest now； he must go on； and on； and on； faster and ever faster； until at last something should snap and quiet perforce should overtake him。
Early dawn found him at Kroonstad。 Sleep had been impossible for him； he had no appetite for food； and it took an ever…increasing effort for him to pull himself together。 Like a man mounting a steep； pathless hill； he tried to drag himself up above the consciousness of his aching head and throbbing wounds； but it was not to be done。 At the station he halted irresolutely。 Then of a sudden he faced towards the great hospital tent。
〃I want something to steady me a bit；〃 he said briefly to the first doctor he met there。 〃I have two or three scratches； and I am feeling fagged。 Give me something to help me get a grip on myself again； for I can't spend time to be ill。〃
The doctor remonstrated； but Weldon's answe
