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第79部分

dead souls(死魂灵)-第79部分

小说: dead souls(死魂灵) 字数: 每页4000字

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〃Yes; Semen Semenovitch; but; before you go on to speak of Chichikov; pray tell me something about yourself; and how much; in your opinion; would be sufficient to clear you of your difficulties?〃

〃My difficulties are grievous;〃 replied Khlobuev。 〃To rid myself of them; and also to have enough to go on with; I should need to acquire at least a hundred thousand roubles; if not more。 In short; things are becoming impossible for me。〃

〃And; had you the money; what should you do with it?〃

〃I should rent a tenement; and devote myself to the education of my children。 Not a thought should I give to myself; for my career is over; seeing that it is impossible for me to re…enter the Civil Service and I am good for nothing else。〃

〃Nevertheless; when a man is leading an idle life he is apt to incur temptations which shun his better…employed brother。〃

〃Yes; but beyond question I am good for nothing; so broken is my health; and such a martyr I am to dyspepsia。〃

〃But how to you propose to live without working? How can a man like you exist without a post or a position of any kind? Look around you at the works of God。 Everything has its proper function; and pursues its proper course。 Even a stone can be used for one purpose or another。 How; then; can it be right for a man who is a thinking being to remain a drone?〃

〃But I should not be a drone; for I should employ myself with the education of my children。〃

〃No; Semen Semenovitchno: THAT you would find the hardest task of all。 For how can a man educate his children who has never even educated himself? Instruction can be imparted to children only through the medium of example; and would a life like yours furnish them with a profitable examplea life which has been spent in idleness and the playing of cards? No; Semen Semenovitch。 You had far better hand your children over to me。 Otherwise they will be ruined。 Do not think that I am jesting。 Idleness has wrecked your life; and you must flee from it。 Can a man live with nothing to keep him in place? Even a journeyman labourer who earns the barest pittance may take an interest in his occupation。〃

〃Athanasi Vassilievitch; I have tried to overcome myself; but what further resource lies open to me? Can I who am old and incapable re…enter the Civil Service and spend year after year at a desk with youths who are just starting their careers? Moreover; I have lost the trick of taking bribes; I should only hinder both myself and others; while; as you know; it is a department which has an established caste of its own。 Therefore; though I have considered; and even attempted to obtain; every conceivable post; I find myself incompetent for them all。 Only in a monastery should I〃

〃Nay; nay。 Monasteries; again; are only for those who have worked。 To those who have spent their youth in dissipation such havens say what the ant said to the dragonflynamely; 'Go you away; and return to your dancing。' Yes; even in a monastery do folk toil and toilthey do not sit playing whist。〃 Murazov looked at Khlobuev; and added: 〃Semen Semenovitch; you are deceiving both yourself and me。〃

Poor Khlobuev could not utter a word in reply; and Murazov began to feel sorry for him。

〃Listen; Semen Semenovitch;〃 he went on。 〃I know that you say your prayers; and that you go to church; and that you observe both Matins and Vespers; and that; though averse to early rising; you leave your bed at four o'clock in the morning before the household fires have been lit。〃

〃Ah; Athanasi Vassilievitch;〃 said Khlobuev; 〃that is another matter altogether。 That I do; not for man's sake; but for the sake of Him who has ordered all things here on earth。 Yes; I believe that He at least can feel compassion for me; that He at least; though I be foul and lowly; will pardon me and receive me when all men have cast me out; and my best friend has betrayed me and boasted that he has done it for a good end。〃

Khlobuev's face was glowing with emotion; and from the older man's eyes also a tear had started。

〃You will do well to hearken unto Him who is merciful;〃 he said。 〃But remember also that; in the eyes of the All…Merciful; honest toil is of equal merit with a prayer。 Therefore take unto yourself whatsoever task you may; and do it as though you were doing it; not unto man; but unto God。 Even though to your lot there should fall but the cleaning of a floor; clean that floor as though it were being cleaned for Him alone。 And thence at least this good you will reap: that there will remain to you no time for what is evilfor card playing; for feasting; for all the life of this gay world。 Are you acquainted with Ivan Potapitch?〃

〃Yes; not only am I acquainted with him; but I also greatly respect him。〃

〃Time was when Ivan Potapitch was a merchant worth half a million roubles。 In everything did he look but for gain; and his affairs prospered exceedingly; so much so that he was able to send his son to be educated in France; and to marry his daughter to a General。 And whether in his office or at the Exchange; he would stop any friend whom he encountered and carry him off to a tavern to drink; and spend whole days thus employed。 But at last he became bankrupt; and God sent him other misfortunes also。 His son! Ah; well! Ivan Potapitch is now my steward; for he had to begin life over again。 Yet once more his affairs are in order; and; had it been his wish; he could have restarted in business with a capital of half a million roubles。 'But no;' he said。 'A steward am I; and a steward will I remain to the end; for; from being full…stomached and heavy with dropsy; I have become strong and well。' Not a drop of liquor passes his lips; but only cabbage soup and gruel。 And he prays as none of the rest of us pray; and he helps the poor as none of the rest of us help them; and to this he would add yet further charity if his means permitted him to do so。〃

Poor Khlobuev remained silent; as before。

The elder man took his two hands in his。

〃Semen Semenovitch;〃 he said; 〃you cannot think how much I pity you; or how much I have had you in my thoughts。 Listen to me。 In the monastery there is a recluse who never looks upon a human face。 Of all men whom I know he has the broadest mind; and he breaks not his silence save to give advice。 To him I went and said that I had a friend (though I did not actually mention your name) who was in great trouble of soul。 Suddenly the recluse interrupted me with the words: 'God's work first; and our own last。 There is need for a church to be built; but no money wherewith to build it。 Money must be collected to that end。' Then he shut to the wicket。 I wondered to myself what this could mean; and concluded that the recluse had been unwilling to accord me his counsel。 Next I repaired to the Archimandrite; and had scarce reached his door when he inquired of me whether I could commend to him a man meet to be entrusted with the collection of alms for a churcha man who should belong to the dvoriane or to the more lettered merchants; but who would guard the trust as he would guard the salvation of his soul。 On the instant thought I to myself: 'Why should not the Holy Father appoint my friend Semen Semenovitch? For the way of suffering would benefit him greatly; and as he passed with his ledger from landowner to peasant; and from peasant to townsman; he would learn where folk dwell; and who stands in need of aught; and thus would become better acquainted with the countryside than folk who dwell in cities。 And; thus become; he would find that his services were always in demand。' Only of late did the Governor…General say to me that; could he but be furnished with the name of a secretary who should know his work not only by the book but also by experience; he would give him a great sum; since nothing is to be learned by the former means; and; through it; much confusion arises。〃

〃You confound me; you overwhelm me!〃 said Khlobuev; staring at his companion in open…eyed astonishment。 〃I can scarcely believe that your words are true; seeing that for such a trust an active; indefatigable man would be necessary。 Moreover; how could I leave my wife and children unprovided for?〃

〃Have no fear;〃 said Murazov; 〃I myself will take them under my care; as well as procure for the children a tutor。 Far better and nobler were it for you to be travelling with a wallet; and asking alms on behalf of God; then to be remaining here and asking alms for yourself alone。 Likewise; I will furnish you with a tilt…waggon; so that you may be saved some of the hardships of the journey; and thus be preserved in good health。 Also; I will give you some money for the journey; in order that; as you pass on your way; you may give to those who stand in greater need than their fellows。 Thus; if; before giving; you assure yourself that the recipient of the alms is worthy of the same; you will do much good; and as you travel you will become acquainted with all men and sundry; and they will treat you; not as a tchinovnik to be feared; but as one to whom; as a petitioner on behalf of the Church; they may unloose their tongues without peril。〃

〃I feel that the scheme is a splendid one; and would gladly bear my part in it were it not likely to exceed my strength。〃

〃What is there that does NOT exceed your strengt

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