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And so on and so on。  We set down the five known facts by

themselves on a piece of paper; and numbered it 〃page 1〃; then on

fifteen hundred other pieces of paper we set down the

〃conjectures;〃 and 〃suppositions;〃 and 〃maybes;〃 and 〃perhapses;〃

and 〃doubtlesses;〃 and 〃rumors;〃 and guesses;〃 and

〃probabilities;〃 and 〃likelihoods;〃 and 〃we are permitted to

thinks;〃 and 〃we are warranted in believings;〃 and 〃might have

beens;〃 and 〃could have beens;〃 and 〃must have beens;〃 and

〃unquestionablys;〃 and 〃without a shadow of doubt〃and behold!



MATERIALS?  Why; we had enough to build a biography of Shakespeare!



Yet he made me put away my pen; he would not let me write

the history of Satan。  Why?  Because; as he said; he had

suspicionssuspicions that my attitude in the matter was not

reverent; and that a person must be reverent when writing about

the sacred characters。  He said any one who spoke flippantly of

Satan would be frowned upon by the religious world and also be

brought to account。



I assured him; in earnest and sincere words; that he had

wholly misconceived my attitude; that I had the highest respect

for Satan; and that my reverence for him equaled; and possibly

even exceeded; that of any member of the church。  I said it

wounded me deeply to perceive by his words that he thought I

would make fun of Satan; and deride him; laugh at him; scoff at

him; whereas in truth I had never thought of such a thing; but

had only a warm desire to make fun of those others and laugh at

THEM。  〃What others?  〃Why; the Supposers; the Perhapsers; the

Might…Have…Beeners; the Could…Have…Beeners; the Must…Have…Beeners;

the Without…a…Shadow…of…Doubters; the We…Are…Warranted…in…Believingers;

and all that funny crop of solemn architects who have taken a

good solid foundation of five indisputable and unimportant facts

and built upon it a Conjectural Satan thirty miles high。〃



What did Mr。 Barclay do then?  Was he disarmed?  Was he

silenced?  No。  He was shocked。  He was so shocked that he

visibly shuddered。  He said the Satanic Traditioners and

Perhapsers and Conjecturers were THEMSELVES sacred!  As sacred as

their work。  So sacred that whoso ventured to mock them or make

fun of their work; could not afterward enter any respectable

house; even by the back door。



How true were his words; and how wise!  How fortunate it

would have been for me if I had heeded them。  But I was young; I

was but seven years of age; and vain; foolish; and anxious to

attract attention。  I wrote the biography; and have never been in

a respectable house since。





III



How curious and interesting is the parallelas far as

poverty of biographical details is concernedbetween Satan and

Shakespeare。  It is wonderful; it is unique; it stands quite

alone; there is nothing resembling it in history; nothing

resembling it in romance; nothing approaching it even in

tradition。  How sublime is their position; and how over…topping;

how sky…reaching; how supremethe two Great Unknowns; the two

Illustrious Conjecturabilities!  They are the best…known unknown

persons that have ever drawn breath upon the planet。



For the instruction of the ignorant I will make a list; now;

of those details of Shakespeare's history which are FACTS

verified facts; established facts; undisputed facts。







Facts



He was born on the 23d of April; 1564。



Of good farmer…class parents who could not read; could not

write; could not sign their names。



At Stratford; a small back settlement which in that day was

shabby and unclean; and densely illiterate。  Of the nineteen

important men charged with the government of the town; thirteen

had to 〃make their mark〃 in attesting important documents;

because they could not write their names。



Of the first eighteen years of his life NOTHING is known。

They are a blank。



On the 27th of November (1582) William Shakespeare took out

a license to marry Anne Whateley。



Next day William Shakespeare took out a license to marry

Anne Hathaway。  She was eight years his senior。



William Shakespeare married Anne Hathaway。  In a hurry。  By

grace of a reluctantly granted dispensation there was but one

publication of the banns。



Within six months the first child was born。



About two (blank) years followed; during which period

NOTHING AT ALL HAPPENED TO SHAKESPEARE; so far as anybody knows。



Then came twins1585。  February。



Two blank years follow。



Then1587he makes a ten…year visit to London; leaving the family behind。



Five blank years follow。  During this period NOTHING

HAPPENED TO HIM; as far as anybody actually knows。



Then1592there is mention of him as an actor。



Next year1593his name appears in the official list of players。



Next year1594he played before the queen。  A detail of no

consequence:  other obscurities did it every year of the forty…

five of her reign。  And remained obscure。



Three pretty full years follow。  Full of play…acting。  Then*



In 1597 he bought New Place; Stratford。



Thirteen or fourteen busy years follow; years in which he

accumulated money; and also reputation as actor and manager。



 Meantime his name; liberally and variously spelt; had

become associated with a number of great plays and poems; as

(ostensibly) author of the same。



Some of these; in these years and later; were pirated; but

he made no protest。



Then1610…11he returned to Stratford and settled down for

good and all; and busied himself in lending money; trading in

tithes; trading in land and houses; shirking a debt of forty…one

shillings; borrowed by his wife during his long desertion of his

family; suing debtors for shillings and coppers; being sued

himself for shillings and coppers; and acting as confederate to a

neighbor who tried to rob the town of its rights in a certain

common; and did not succeed。



He lived five or six yearstill 1616in the joy of these

elevated pursuits。  Then he made a will; and signed each of its

three pages with his name。



A thoroughgoing business man's will。  It named in minute

detail every item of property he owned in the worldhouses;

lands; sword; silver…gilt bowl; and so onall the way down to

his 〃second…best bed〃 and its furniture。



It carefully and calculatingly distributed his riches among

the members of his family; overlooking no individual of it。  Not

even his wife:  the wife he had been enabled to marry in a hurry

by urgent grace of a special dispensation before he was nineteen;

the wife whom he had left husbandless so many years; the wife who

had had to borrow forty…one shillings in her need; and which the

lender was never able to collect of the prosperous husband; but

died at last with the money still lacking。  No; even this wife

was remembered in Shakespeare's will。



He left her that 〃second…best bed。〃



And NOT ANOTHER THING; not even a penny to bless her lucky

widowhood with。



It was eminently and conspicuously a business man's will;

not a poet's。



It mentioned NOT A SINGLE BOOK。



Books were much more precious than swords and silver…gilt

bowls and second…best beds in those days; and when a departing

person owned one he gave it a high place in his will。



The will mentioned NOT A PLAY; NOT A POEM; NOT AN UNFINISHED

LITERARY WORK; NOT A SCRAP OF MANUSCRIPT OF ANY KIND。



Many poets have died poor; but this is the only one in

history that has died THIS poor; the others all left literary

remains behind。  Also a book。  Maybe two。



If Shakespeare had owned a dogbut we not go into that:  we

know he would have mentioned it in his will。  If a good dog;

Susanna would have got it; if an inferior one his wife would have

got a downer interest in it。  I wish he had had a dog; just so we

could see how painstakingly he would have divided that dog among

the family; in his careful business way。



He signed the will in three places。



In earlier years he signed two other official documents。



These five signatures still exist。



There are NO OTHER SPECIMENS OF HIS PENMANSHIP IN EXISTENCE。

Not a line。



Was he prejudiced against the art?  His granddaughter; whom

he loved; was eight years old when he died; yet she had had no

teaching; he left no provision for her education; although he was

rich; and in her mature womanhood she couldn't write and couldn't

tell her husband's manuscript from anybody else'sshe thought it

was Shakespeare's。



When Shakespeare died in Stratford; IT WAS NOT AN EVENT。  It

made no more stir in England than the death of any other

forgotten theater…actor would have made。  Nobody came down from

London; there were no lamenting poems; no eulogies; no national

tearsthere was merely silence; and nothing more。  A striking

contrast with what happened when Ben Jonson; and Francis Bacon;

and Spenser; and Raleigh; and the other distinguished literary

folk of Shakespeare's time passed f

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