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diplomacy; that the financial managers of two newspapers (celebrated

at that time but since defunct) were seized with the idea of employing

him to get subscribers。 The proprietors of the 〃Globe;〃 an organ of

Saint…Simonism; and the 〃Movement;〃 a republican journal; each invited

the illustrious Gaudissart to a conference; and proposed to give him

ten francs a head for every subscriber; provided he brought in a

thousand; but only five francs if he got no more than five hundred。

The cause of political journalism not interfering with the pre…

accepted cause of life insurance; the bargain was struck; although

Gaudissart demanded an indemnity from the Saint…Simonians for the

eight days he was forced to spend in studying the doctrines of their

apostle; asserting that a prodigious effort of memory and intellect

was necessary to get to the bottom of that 〃article〃 and to reason

upon it suitably。 He asked nothing; however; from the republicans。 In

the first place; he inclined in republican ideas;the only ones;

according to guadissardian philosophy; which could bring about a

rational equality。 Besides which he had already dipped into the

conspiracies of the French 〃carbonari〃; he had been arrested; and

released for want of proof; and finally; as he called the newspaper

proprietors to observe; he had lately grown a mustache; and needed

only a hat of certain shape and a pair of spurs to represent; with due

propriety; the Republic。







CHAPTER II



For one whole week this commanding genius went every morning to be

Saint…Simonized at the office of the 〃Globe;〃 and every afternoon he

betook himself to the life…insurance company; where he learned the

intricacies of financial diplomacy。 His aptitude and his memory were

prodigious; so that he was able to start on his peregrinations by the

15th of April; the date at which he usually opened the spring

campaign。 Two large commercial houses; alarmed at the decline of

business; implored the ambitious Gaudissart not to desert the article

Paris; and seduced him; it was said; with large offers; to take their

commissions once more。 The king of travellers was amenable to the

claims of his old friends; enforced as they were by the enormous

premiums offered to him。



*       *       *       *       *



〃Listen; my little Jenny;〃 he said in a hackney…coach to a pretty

florist。



All truly great men delight in allowing themselves to be tyrannized

over by a feeble being; and Gaudissart had found his tyrant in Jenny。

He was bringing her home at eleven o'clock from the Gymnase; whither

he had taken her; in full dress; to a proscenium box on the first

tier。



〃On my return; Jenny; I shall refurnish your room in superior style。

That big Matilda; who pesters you with comparisons and her real India

shawls imported by the suite of the Russian ambassador; and her silver

plate and her Russian prince;who to my mind is nothing but a humbug;

won't have a word to say THEN。 I consecrate to the adornment of your

room all the 'Children' I shall get in the provinces。〃



〃Well; that's a pretty thing to say!〃 cried the florist。 〃Monster of a

man! Do you dare to talk to me of your children? Do you suppose I am

going to stand that sort of thing?〃



〃Oh; what a goose you are; my Jenny! That's only a figure of speech in

our business。〃



〃A fine business; then!〃



〃Well; but listen; if you talk all the time you'll always be in the

right。〃



〃I mean to be。 Upon my word; you take things easy!〃



〃You don't let me finish。 I have taken under my protection a

superlative idea;a journal; a newspaper; written for children。 In

our profession; when travellers have caught; let us suppose; ten

subscribers to the 'Children's Journal;' they say; 'I've got ten

Children;' just as I say when I get ten subscriptions to a newspaper

called the 'Movement;' 'I've got ten Movements。' Now don't you see?〃



〃That's all right。 Are you going into politics? If you do you'll get

into Saint…Pelagie; and I shall have to trot down there after you。 Oh!

if one only knew what one puts one's foot into when we love a man; on

my word of honor we would let you alone to take care of yourselves;

you men! However; if you are going away to…morrow we won't talk of

disagreeable things;that would be silly。〃



The coach stopped before a pretty house; newly built in the Rue

d'Artois; where Gaudissart and Jenny climbed to the fourth story。 This

was the abode of Mademoiselle Jenny Courand; commonly reported to be

privately married to the illustrious Gaudissart; a rumor which that

individual did not deny。 To maintain her supremacy; Jenny kept him to

the performance of innumerable small attentions; and threatened

continually to turn him off if he omitted the least of them。 She now

ordered him to write to her from every town; and render a minute

account of all his proceedings。



〃How many 'Children' will it take to furnish my chamber?〃 she asked;

throwing off her shawl and sitting down by a good fire。



〃I get five sous for each subscriber。〃



〃Delightful! And is it with five sous that you expect to make me rich?

Perhaps you are like the Wandering Jew with your pockets full of

money。〃



〃But; Jenny; I shall get a thousand 'Children。' Just reflect that

children have never had a newspaper to themselves before。 But what a

fool I am to try to explain matters to you;you can't understand such

things。〃



〃Can't I? Then tell me;tell me; Gaudissart; if I'm such a goose why

do you love me?〃



〃Just because you are a goose;a sublime goose! Listen; Jenny。 See

here; I am going to undertake the 'Globe;' the 'Movement;' the

'Children;' the insurance business; and some of my old articles Paris;

instead of earning a miserable eight thousand a year; I'll bring back

twenty thousand at least from each trip。〃



〃Unlace me; Gaudissart; and do it right; don't tighten me。〃



〃Yes; truly;〃 said the traveller; complacently; 〃I shall become a

shareholder in the newspapers; like Finot; one of my friends; the son

of a hatter; who now has thirty thousand francs income; and is going

to make himself a peer of France。 When one thinks of that little

Popinot;ah; mon Dieu! I forgot to tell you that Monsieur Popinot was

named minister of commerce yesterday。 Why shouldn't I be ambitious

too? Ha! ha! I could easily pick up the jargon of those fellows who

talk in the chamber; and bluster with the rest of them。 Now; listen to

me:



〃Gentlemen;〃 he said; standing behind a chair; 〃the Press is neither a

tool nor an article of barter: it is; viewed under its political

aspects; an institution。 We are bound; in virtue of our position as

legislators; to consider all things politically; and therefore〃 (here

he stopped to get breath)〃and therefore we must examine the Press

and ask ourselves if it is useful or noxious; if it should be

encouraged or put down; taxed or free。 These are serious questions。 I

feel that I do not waste the time; always precious; of this Chamber by

examining this articlethe Pressand explaining to you its

qualities。 We are on the verge of an abyss。 Undoubtedly the laws have

not the nap which they ought to haveHein?〃 he said; looking at

Jenny。 〃All orators put France on the verge of an abyss。 They either

say that or they talk about the chariot of state; or convulsions; or

political horizons。 Don't I know their dodges? I'm up to all the

tricks of all the trades。 Do you know why? Because I was born with a

caul; my mother has got it; but I'll give it to you。 You'll see! I

shall soon be in the government。〃



〃You!〃



〃Why shouldn't I be the Baron Gaudissart; peer of France? Haven't they

twice elected Monsieur Popinot as deputy from the fourth

arrondissement? He dines with Louis Phillippe。 There's Finot; he is

going to be; they say; a member of the Council。 Suppose they send me

as ambassador to London? I tell you I'd nonplus those English! No man

ever got the better of Gaudissart; the illustrious Gaudissart; and

nobody ever will。 Yes; I say it! no one ever outwitted me; and no one

canin any walk of life; politics or impolitics; here or elsewhere。

But; for the time being; I must give myself wholly to the capitalists;

to the 'Globe;' the 'Movement;' the 'Children;' and my article Paris。〃



〃You will be brought up with a round turn; you and your newspapers。

I'll bet you won't get further than Poitiers before the police will

nab you。〃



〃What will you bet?〃



〃A shawl。〃



〃Done! If I lose that shawl I'll go back to the article Paris and the

hat business。 But as for getting the better of Gaudissartnever!

never!〃



And the illustrious traveller threw himself into position before

Jenny; looked at her proudly; one hand in his waistcoat; his head at

three…quarter profile;an attitude truly Napoleonic。



〃Oh; how funny you are! what have you been eating to…night?〃



Gaudissart was thirty…eight years of age; of medium height; stout and

f

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