mark twain, a biography, 1907-1910-第39部分

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〃I　never　guessed　that　I　was　not　going　to　outlive　John　Bigelow。〃　　And
again：

〃This　is　such　a　mysterious　disease。　　If　we　only　had　a　bill　of　particulars
we'd　have　something　to　swear　at。〃

Time　and　again　he　picked　up　Carlyle　or　the　Cardigan　Memoirs；　and　read；　or
seemed　to　read；　a　few　lines；　but　then　the　drowsiness　would　come　and　the
book　would　fall。　　Time　and　again　he　attempted　to　smoke；　or　in　his　drowse
simulated　the　motion　of　placing　a　cigar　to　his　lips　and　puffing　in　the
old　way。

Two　dreams　beset　him　in　his　momentary　slumberone　of　a　play　in　which　the
title…role　of　the　general　manager　was　always　unfilled。　　He　spoke　of　this
now　and　then　when　it　had　passed；　and　it　seemed　to　amuse　him。　　The　other
was　a　discomfort：　a　college　assembly　was　attempting　to　confer　upon　him
some　degree　which　he　did　not　want。　　Once；　half　roused；　he　looked　at　me
searchingly　and　asked：

〃Isn't　there　something　I　can　resign　and　be　out　of　all　this？　　They　keep
trying　to　confer　that　degree　upon　me　and　I　don't　want　it。〃　　Then
realizing；　he　said：　〃I　am　like　a　bird　in　a　cage：　always　expecting　to　get
out；　and　always　beaten　back　by　the　wires。〃　　And；　somewhat　later：　〃Oh；　it
is　such　a　mystery；　and　it　takes　so　long。〃

Toward　the　evening　of　the　first　day；　when　it　grew　dark　outside；　he　asked：

〃How　long　have　we　been　on　this　voyage？〃

I　answered　that　this　was　the　end　of　the　first　day。

〃How　many　more　are　there？〃　he　asked。

〃Only　one；　and　two　nights。〃

〃We'll　never　make　it；〃　he　said。　　〃It's　an　eternity。〃

〃But　we　must　on　Clara's　account；〃　I　told　him；　and　I　estimated　that　Clara
would　be　more　than　half…way　across　the　ocean　by　now。

〃It　is　a　losing　race；〃　he　said；　〃no　ship　can　outsail　death。〃

It　has　been　writtenI　do　not　know　with　what　proofthat　certain　great
dissenters　have　recanted　with　the　approach　of　deathhave　become　weak；
and　afraid　to　ignore　old　traditions　in　the　face　of　the　great　mystery。
I　wish　to　write　here　that　Mark　Twain；　as　he　neared　the　end；　showed　never
a　single　tremor　of　fear　or　even　of　reluctance。　　I　have　dwelt　upon　these
hours　when　suffering　was　upon　him；　and　death　the　imminent　shadow；　in
order　to　show　that　at　the　end　he　was　as　he　had　always　been；　neither　more
nor　less；　and　never　less　than　brave。

Once；　during　a　moment　when　he　was　comfortable　and　quite　himself；　he　said；
earnestly：

〃When　I　seem　to　be　dying　I　don't　want　to　be　stimulated　back　to　life。　　I
want　to　be　made　comfortable　to　go。

There　was　not　a　vestige　of　hesitation；　there　was　no　grasping　at　straws；
no　suggestion　of　dread。

Somehow　those　two　days　and　nights　went　by。　　Once；　when　he　was　partially
relieved　by　the　opiate；　I　slept；　while　Claude　watched；　and　again；　in　the
fading　end　of　the　last　night；　when　we　had　passed　at　length　into　the　cold；
bracing　northern　air；　and　breath　had　come　back　to　him；　and　with　it　sleep。

Relatives；　physicians；　and　news…gatherers　were　at　the　dock　to　welcome
him。　　He　was　awake；　and　the　northern　air　had　brightened　him；　though　it
was　the　chill；　I　suppose；　that　brought　on　the　pains　in　his　breast；　which；
fortunately；　he　had　escaped　during　the　voyage。　　It　was　not　a　prolonged
attack；　and　it　was；　blessedly；　the　last　one。

An　invalid…carriage　had　been　provided；　and　a　compartment　secured　on　the
afternoon　express　to　Reddingthe　same　train　that　had　taken　him　there　two
years　before。　　Dr。　Robert　H。　Halsey　and　Dr。　Edward　Quintard　attended　him；
and　he　made　the　journey　really　in　cheerful　comfort；　for　he　could　breathe
now；　and　in　the　relief　came　back　old　interests。　　Half　reclining　on　the
couch；　he　looked　through　the　afternoon　papers。　　It　happened　curiously
that　Charles　Harvey　Genung；　who；　something　more　than　four　years　earlier；
had　been　so　largely　responsible　for　my　association　with　Mark　Twain；　was
on　the　same　train；　in　the　same　coach；　bound　for　his　country…place　at　New
Hartford。

Lounsbury　was　waiting　with　the　carriage；　and　on　that　still；　sweet　April
evening　we　drove　him　to　Stormfield　much　as　we　had　driven　him　two　years
before。　　Now　and　then　he　mentioned　the　apparent　backwardness　of　the
season；　for　only　a　few　of　the　trees　were　beginning　to　show　their　green。　
As　we　drove　into　the　lane　that　led　to　the　Stormfield　entrance；　he　said：

〃Can　we　see　where　you　have　built　your　billiard…room？〃

The　gable　showed　above　the　trees；　and　I　pointed　it　out　to　him。

〃It　looks　quite　imposing；〃　he　said。

I　think　it　was　the　last　outside　interest　he　ever　showed　in　anything。
He　had　been　carried　from　the　ship　and　from　the　train；　but　when　we　drew　up
to　Stormfield；　where　Mrs。　Paine；　with　Katie　Leary　and　others　of　the
household；　was　waiting　to　greet　him；　he　stepped　from　the　carriage　alone
with　something　of　his　old　lightness；　and　with　all　his　old　courtliness；
and　offered　each　one　his　hand。　　Then；　in　the　canvas　chair　which　we　had
brought；　Claude　and　I　carried　him　up…stairs　to　his　room　and　delivered　him
to　the　physicians；　and　to　the　comforts　and　blessed　air　of　home。　　This　was
Thursday　evening；　April　14；　1910。




CCXCIII

THE　RETURN　TO　THE　INVISIBLE

There　would　be　two　days　more　before　Ossip　and　Clara　Gabrilowitsch　could
arrive。　　Clemens　remained　fairly　bright　and　comfortable　during　this
interval；　though　he　clearly　was　not　improving。　　The　physicians　denied　him
the　morphine；　now；　as　he　no　longer　suffered　acutely。　　But　he　craved　it；
and　once；　when　I　went　in；　he　said；　rather　mournfully：

〃They　won't　give　me　the　subcutaneous　any　more。〃

It　was　Sunday　morning　when　Clara　came。　　He　was　cheerful　and　able　to　talk
quite　freely。　　He　did　not　dwell　upon　his　condition；　I　think；　but　spoke
rather　of　his　plans　for　the　summer。　　At　all　events；　he　did　not　then
suggest　that　he　counted　the　end　so　near；　but　a　day　later　it　became
evident　to　all　that　his　stay　was　very　brief。　　His　breathing　was　becoming
heavier；　though　it　seemed　not　to　give　him　much　discomfort。　　His
articulation　also　became　affected。　　I　think　the　last　continuous　talking
he　did　was　to　Dr。　Halsey　on　the　evening　of　April　17ththe　day　of　Clara's
arrival。　　A　mild　opiate　had　been　administered；　and　he　said　he　wished　to
talk　himself　to　sleep。　　He　recalled　one　of　his　old　subjects；　Dual
Personality；　and　discussed　various　instances　that　flitted　through　his
mindJekyll　and　Hyde　phases　in　literature　and　fact。　　He　became　drowsier
as　he　talked。　　He　said　at　last：

〃This　is　a　peculiar　kind　of　disease。　　It　does　not　invite　you　to　read；　it
does　not　invite　you　to　be　read　to；　it　does　not　invite　you　to　talk；　nor　to
enjoy　any　of　the　usual　sick…room　methods　of　treatment。　　What　kind　of　a
disease　is　that？　　Some　kinds　of　sicknesses　have　pleasant　features　about
them。　　You　can　read　and　smoke　and　have　only　to　lie　still。〃

And　a　little　later　he　added：

〃It　is　singular；　very　singular；　the　laws　of　mentalityvacuity。　　I　put
out　my　hand　to　reach　a　book　or　newspaper　which　I　have　been　reading　most
glibly；　and　it　isn't　there；　not　a　suggestion　of　it。〃

He　coughed　violently；　and　afterward　commented：

〃If　one　gets　to　meddling　with　a　cough　it　very　soon　gets　the　upper　hand
and　is　meddling　with　you。　　That　is　my　opinionof　seventy…four　years'
growth。〃

The　news　of　his　condition；　everywhere　published；　brought　great　heaps　of
letters；　but　he　could　not　see　them。　　A　few　messages　were　reported　to　him。　
At　intervals　he　read　a　little。　　Suetonius　and　Carlyle　lay　on　the　bed
beside　him；　and　he　would　pick　them　up　as　the　spirit　moved　him　and　read　a
paragraph　or　a　page。　　Sometimes；　when　I　saw　him　thus…the　high　color　still
in　his　face；　and　the　clear　light　in　his　eyesI　said：　〃It　is　not　reality。　
He　is　not　going　to　die。〃　　On　Tuesday；　the　19th；　he　asked　me　to　tell　Clara
to　come　and　sing　to　him。　　It　was　a　heavy　requirement；　but　she　somehow
found　strength　to　sing　some　of　the　Scotch　airs　which　he　loved；　and　he
seemed　soothed　and　comforted。　　When　she　came　away　he　bade　her　good…by；
saying　that　he　might　not　see　her　again。

But　he　lingered　through　the　next　day　and　the　next。　　His　mind　was
wandering　a　little　on　Wednesday；　and　his　speech　became　less　and　less
articulate；　but　there　were　intervals　when　he　was　quite　clear；　quite
vigorous；　and　he　apparently　suffered　little。　　We　did　not　know　it；　then；
but　the　mysterious　messenger　of　his　birth…year；　so　long　anticipated　by
him；　appeared　that　night　in　the　sky。　＇The　perihelion　of　Halley's　Comet
for　1835　was　November　16th；　for　1910　it　was　April　20th。＇

On　Thursday　morning；　the　21st；　his　mind　was　generally　clear；　and　it　was
said　by　the　nurses　that　he　read　a　little　from　one　of　the　volumes　on　his
bed；　from　the　Suetonius；　or　from　one　of　the　volumes　of　Carlyle。　　Early　in
the　forenoon　he　sent　word　by　Clara　that　he　wished　to　see　me；　and　when　I
came　in　he　spoke　of　two　unfinished　manuscripts　which　he　wished　me　to
〃throw　away；〃　as　he　briefly　expressed　it；　for　he　had　not　many　words　left
now。　　I　assured　him　that　I　would　take　care　of　them；　and　he　pressed　my
hand。　　It　was　his　last　word　to　me。

Once　or　twice　that　morning　he　tried　to　write　some　request　which　he　could
not　put　into　intelligible　words。

And　once　he　spoke　to　Gabrilowitsch；　who；　he　said；　could　understand　him
better　than　the　others。　　Most　of　the　time　he　dozed。

Somewhat　after　midday；　when　Clara　was　by　him；　he　roused　up　and　took　her
hand；　and　seemed　to　speak　with　less　effort。

〃Good…by；〃　he　said；　and　Dr