the financier-第112部分
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； he had taken to reading the Bible； looking into its pages for something of that mind consolation that always； from youth up； although rather casually in these latter years； he had imagined was to be found there。 The Psalms； Isaiah； the Book of Job； Ecclesiastes。 And for the most part； because of the fraying nature of his present ills； not finding it。
But day after day secreting himself in his rooma little hall…bedroom office in his newest home； where to his wife； he pretended that he had some commercial matters wherewith he was still concerned and once inside； the door locked； sitting and brooding on all that had befallen himhis losses； his good name。 Or； after months of this； and because of the new position secured for him by Wingate a bookkeeping job in one of the outlying banksslipping away early in the morning； and returning late at night； his mind a gloomy epitome of all that had been or yet might be。
To see him bustling off from his new but very much reduced home at half after seven in the morning in order to reach the small bank； which was some distance away and not accessible by street…car line； was one of those pathetic sights which the fortunes of trade so frequently offer。 He carried his lunch in a small box because it was inconvenient to return home in the time allotted for this purpose； and because his new salary did not permit the extravagance of a purchased one。 It was his one ambition now to eke out a respectable but unseen existence until he should die； which he hoped would not be long。 He was a pathetic figure with his thin legs and body； his gray hair； and his snow…white side…whiskers。 He was very lean and angular； and； when confronted by a difficult problem； a little uncertain or vague in his mind。 An old habit which had grown on him in the years of his prosperity of putting his hand to his mouth and of opening his eyes in an assumption of surprise； which had no basis in fact； now grew upon him。 He really degenerated； although he did not know it； into a mere automaton。 Life strews its shores with such interesting and pathetic wrecks。
One of the things that caused Cowperwood no little thought at this time； and especially in view of his present extreme indifference to her； was how he would bring up this matter of his indifference to his wife and his desire to end their relationship。 Yet apart from the brutality of the plain truth； he saw no way。 As he could plainly see； she was now persisting in her pretense of devotion； uncolored； apparently； by any suspicion of what had happened。 Yet since his trial and conviction； she had been hearing from one source and another that he was still intimate with Aileen； and it was only her thought of his concurrent woes； and the fact that he might possibly be spared to a successful financial life； that now deterred her from speaking。 He was shut up in a cell； she said to herself； and she was really very sorry for him； but she did not love him as she once had。 He was really too deserving of reproach for his general unseemly conduct； and no doubt this was what was intended； as well as being enforced； by the Governing Power of the world。
One can imagine how much such an attitude as this would appeal to Cowperwood； once he had detected it。 By a dozen little signs； in spite of the fact that she brought him delicacies； and commiserated on his fate； he could see that she felt not only sad； but reproachful； and if there was one thing that Cowperwood objected to at all times it was the moral as well as the funereal air。 Contrasted with the cheerful combative hopefulness and enthusiasm of Aileen； the wearied uncertainty of Mrs。 Cowperwood was； to say the least； a little tame。 Aileen； after her first burst of rage over his fate； which really did not develop any tears on her part； was apparently convinced that he would get out and be very successful again。 She talked success and his future all the time because she believed in it。 Instinctively she seemed to realize that prison walls could not make a prison for him。 Indeed； on the first day she left she handed Bonhag ten dollars； and after thanking him in her attractive voicewithout showing her face； howeverfor his obvious kindness to her； bespoke his further favor for Cowperwood〃a very great man；〃 as she described him； which sealed that ambitious materialist's fate completely。 There was nothing the overseer would not do for the young lady in the dark cloak。 She might have stayed in Cowperwood's cell for a week if the visiting…hours of the penitentiary had not made it impossible。
The day that Cowperwood decided to discuss with his wife the weariness of his present married state and his desire to be free of it was some four months after he had entered the prison。 By that time he had become inured to his convict life。 The silence of his cell and the menial tasks he was compelled to perform； which had at first been so distressing； banal； maddening； in their pointless iteration； had now become merely commonplacedull； but not painful。 Furthermore he had learned many of the little resources of the solitary convict； such as that of using his lamp to warm up some delicacy which he had saved from a previous meal or from some basket which had been sent him by his wife or Aileen。 He had partially gotten rid of the sickening odor of his cell by persuading Bonhag to bring him small packages of lime； which he used with great freedom。 Also he succeeded in defeating some of the more venturesome rats with traps； and with Bonhag's permission； after his cell door had been properly locked at night； and sealed with the outer wooden door； he would take his chair； if it were not too cold； out into the little back yard of his cell and look at the sky； where； when the nights were clear； the stars were to be seen。 He had never taken any interest in astronomy as a scientific study； but now the Pleiades； the belt of Orion； the Big Dipper and the North Star； to which one of its lines pointed； caught his attention； almost his fancy。 He wondered why the stars of the belt of Orion came to assume the peculiar mathematical relation to each other which they held； as far as distance and arrangement were concerned； and whether that could possibly have any intellectual significance。 The nebulous conglomeration of the suns in Pleiades suggested a soundless depth of space； and he thought of the earth floating like a little ball in immeasurable reaches of ether。 His own life appeared very trivial in view of these things； and he found himself asking whether it was all really of any significance or importance。 He shook these moods off with ease； however； for the man was possessed of a sense of grandeur； largely in relation to himself and his affairs； and his temperament was essentially material and vital。 Something kept telling him that whatever his present state he must yet grow to be a significant personage； one whose fame would be heralded the world overwho must try； try； try。 It was not given ail men to see far or to do brilliantly； but to him it was given； and he must be what he was cut out to be。 There was no more escaping the greatness that was inherent in him than there was for so many others the littleness that was in them。
Mrs。 Cowperwood came in that afternoon quite solemnly； bearing several changes of linen； a pair of sheets； some potted meat and a pie。 She was not exactly doleful； but Cowperwood thought that she was tending toward it； largely because of her brooding over his relationship to Aileen； which he knew that she knew。 Something in her manner decided him to speak before she left； and after asking her how the children were； and listening to her inquiries in regard to the things that he needed； he said to her； sitting on his single chair while she sat on his bed：
〃Lillian； there's something I've been wanting to talk with you about for some time。 I should have done it before； but it's better late than never。 I know that you know that there is something between Aileen Butler and me； and we might as well have it open and aboveboard。 It's true I am very fond of her and she is very devoted to me； and if ever I get out of here I want to arrange it so that I can marry her。 That means that you will have to give me a divorce； if you will； and I want to talk to you about that now。 This can't be so very much of a surprise to you； because you must have seen this long while that our relationship hasn't been all that it might have been； and under the circumstances this can't prove such a very great hardship to youI am sure。〃 He paused； waiting； for Mrs。 Cowperwood at first said nothing。
Her thought； when he first broached this； was that she ought to make some demonstration of astonishment or wrath： but when she looked into his steady； examining eyes； so free from the illusion of or interest in demonstrations of any kind； she realized how useless it would be。 He was so utterly matter…of…fact in what seemed to her quite private and secret affairsvery shameless。 She had never been able to understand quite how he could take the subtleties of life as he did； anyhow。 Certain things which she always fancied should be hushed up he spoke of with the greatest nonchalance。 Her ears tingled sometimes at his frankness in disposing o
