the wheels of chance-第30部分

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〃A　draper's　assistant　isn't　a　position　to　be　ashamed　of；〃　she　said；　recovering；　and　not　quite　understanding　yet　what　this　all　meant。

〃Yes；　it　is；〃　he　said；　〃for　a　man；　in　this　country　now。　To　be　just　another　man's　hand；　as　I　am。　To　have　to　wear　what　clothes　you　are　told；　and　go　to　church　to　please　customers；　and　workThere's　no　other　kind　of　men　stand　such　hours。　A　drunken　bricklayer's　a　king　to　it。〃

〃But　why　are　you　telling　me　this　now？〃

〃It's　important　you　should　know　at　once。〃

〃But；　Mr。　Benson〃

〃That　isn't　all。　If　you　don't　mind　my　speaking　about　myself　a　bit；　there's　a　few　things　I'd　like　to　tell　you。　I　can't　go　on　deceiving　you。　My　name's　not　Benson。　WHY　I　told　you　Benson；　I　DON'T　know。　Except　that　I'm　a　kind　of　fool。　WellI　wanted　somehow　to　seem　more　than　I　was。　My　name's　Hoopdriver。〃

〃Yes？〃

〃And　that　about　South　Africaand　that　lion。〃

〃Well？〃

〃Lies。〃

〃Lies！〃

And　the　discovery　of　diamonds　on　the　ostrich　farm。　Lies　too。　And　all　the　reminiscences　of　the　giraffeslies　too。　I　never　rode　on　no　giraffes。　I'd　be　afraid。〃

He　looked　at　her　with　a　kind　of　sullen　satisfaction。　He　had　eased　his　conscience；　anyhow。　She　regarded　him　in　infinite　perplexity。　This　was　a　new　side　altogether　to　the　man。　〃But　WHY；〃　she　began。　

〃Why　did　I　tell　you　such　things？　_I_　don't　know。　Silly　sort　of　chap；　I　expect。　I　suppose　I　wanted　to　impress　you。　But　somehow；　now；　I　want　you　to　know　the　truth。〃

Silence。　Breakfast　untouched。　〃I　thought　I'd　tell　you；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。　〃I　suppose　it's　snobbishness　and　all　that　kind　of　thing；　as　much　as　anything。　I　lay　awake　pretty　near　all　last　night　thinking　about　myself；　thinking　what　a　got…up　imitation　of　a　man　I　was；　and　all　that。〃

〃And　you　haven't　any　diamond　shares；　and　you　are　not　going　into　Parliament；　and　you're　not〃

〃All　Lies；〃　said　Hoopdriver；　in　a　sepulchral　voice。　〃Lies　from　beginning　to　end。　'Ow　I　came　to　tell　'em　I　DON'T　know。〃

She　stared　at　him　blankly。　

〃I　never　set　eyes　on　Africa　in　my　life；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver；　completing　the　confession。　Then　he　pulled　his　right　hand　from　his　pocket；　and　with　the　nonchalance　of　one　to　whom　the　bitterness　of　death　is　passed；　began　to　drink　his　coffee。

〃It's　a　little　surprising；〃　began　Jessie；　vaguely。

〃Think　it　over；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。　〃I'm　sorry　from　the　bottom　of　my　heart。〃

And　then　breakfast　proceeded　in　silence。　Jessie　ate　very　little；　and　seemed　lost　in　thought。　Mr。　Hoopdriver　was　so　overcome　by　contrition　and　anxiety　that　he　consumed　an　extraordinarily　large　breakfast　out　of　pure　nervousness；　and　ate　his　scrambled　eggs　for　the　most　part　with　the　spoon　that　belonged　properly　to　the　marmalade。　His　eyes　were　gloomily　downcast。　She　glanced　at　him　through　her　eyelashes。　Once　or　twice　she　struggled　with　laughter；　once　or　twice　she　seemed　to　be　indignant。

〃I　don't　know　what　to　think；〃　she　said　at　last。　〃I　don't　know　what　to　make　of　youbrother　Chris。　I　thought；　do　you　know？　that　you　were　perfectly　honest。　And　somehow〃

〃Well？〃

〃I　think　so　still。〃

〃Honestwith　all　those　lies！〃

〃I　wonder。〃

〃I　don't；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。　〃I'm　fair　ashamed　of　myself。　But　anyhowI've　stopped　deceiving　you。〃

〃I　THOUGHT；〃　said　the　Young　Lady　in　Grey；　〃that　story　of　the　lion〃

〃Lord！〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。　〃Don't　remind　me　of　THAT。〃

〃I　thought；　somehow；　I　FELT；　that　the　things　you　said　didn't　ring　quite　true。〃　She　suddenly　broke　out　in　laughter；　at　the　expression　of　his　face。　〃Of　COURSE　you　are　honest；〃　she　said。　〃How　could　I　ever　doubt　it？　As　if　_I_　had　never　pretended！　I　see　it　all　now。〃

Abruptly　she　rose；　and　extended　her　hand　across　the　breakfast　things。　He　looked　at　her　doubtfully；　and　saw　the　dancing　friendliness　in　her　eyes。　He　scarcely　understood　at　first。　He　rose；　holding　the　marmalade　spoon；　and　took　her　proffered　hand　with　abject　humility。　〃Lord；〃　he　broke　out；　〃if　you　aren't　enoughbut　there！〃

〃I　see　it　all　now。〃　A　brilliant　inspiration　had　suddenly　obscured　her　humour。　She　sat　down　suddenly；　and　he　sat　down　too。　〃You　did　it；〃　she　said；　〃because　you　wanted　to　help　me。　And　you　thought　I　was　too　Conventional　to　take　help　from　one　I　might　think　my　social　inferior。〃

〃That　was　partly　it；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。

〃How　you　misunderstood　me！〃　she　said。

〃You　don't　mind？〃　

〃It　was　noble　of　you。　But　I　am　sorry；〃　she　said；　〃you　should　think　me　likely　to　be　ashamed　of　you　because　you　follow　a　decent　trade。〃　

〃I　didn't　know　at　first；　you　see；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。

And　he　submitted　meekly　to　a　restoration　of　his　self…respect。　He　was　as　useful　a　citizen　as　could　be；it　was　proposed　and　carried；and　his　lying　was　of　the　noblest。　And　so　the　breakfast　concluded　much　more　happily　than　his　brightest　expectation；　and　they　rode　out　of　ruddy　little　Blandford　as　though　no　shadow　of　any　sort　had　come　between　them。　



XXXVI

As　they　were　sitting　by　the　roadside　among　the　pine　trees　half…way　up　a　stretch　of　hill　between　Wimborne　and　Ringwood；　however；　Mr。　Hoopdriver　reopened　the　question　of　his　worldly　position。

〃Ju　think；〃　he　began　abruptly；　removing　a　meditative　cigarette　from　his　mouth；　〃that　a　draper's　shopman　IS　a　decent　citizen？〃

〃Why　not？〃

〃When　he　puts　people　off　with　what　they　don't　quite　want；　for　instance？〃

〃Need　he　do　that？〃

〃Salesmanship；〃　said　Hoopdriver。　〃Wouldn't　get　a　crib　if　he　didn't。It's　no　good　your　arguing。　It's　not　a　particularly　honest　nor　a　particularly　useful　trade；　it's　not　very　high　up　；　there's　no　freedom　and　no　leisureseven　to　eight…thirty　every　day　in　the　week；　don't　leave　much　edge　to　live　on；　does　it？real　workmen　laugh　at　us　and　educated　chaps　like　bank　clerks　and　solicitors'　clerks　look　down　on　us。　You　look　respectable　outside；　and　inside　you　are　packed　in　dormitories　like　convicts；　fed　on　bread　and　butter　and　bullied　like　slaves。　You're　just　superior　enough　to　feel　that　you're　not　superior。　Without　capital　there's　no　prospects；　one　draper　in　a　hundred　don't　even　earn　enough　to　marry　on；　and　if　he　DOES　marry；　his　G。V。　can　just　use　him　to　black　boots　if　he　likes；　and　he　daren't　put　his　back　up。　That's　drapery！　And　you　tell　me　to　be　contented。　Would　YOU　be　contented　if　you　was　a　shop　girl？〃

She　did　not　answer。　She　looked　at　him　with　distress　in　her　brown　eyes；　and　he　remained　gloomily　in　possession　of　the　field。

Presently　he　spoke。　〃I've　been　thinking；〃　he　said；　and　stopped。

She　turned　her　face；　resting　her　cheek　on　the　palm　of　her　hand。　There　was　a　light　in　her　eyes　that　made　the　expression　of　them　tender。　Mr。　Hoopdriver　had　not　looked　in　her　face　while　he　had　talked。　He　had　regarded　the　grass；　and　pointed　his　remarks　with　redknuckled　hands　held　open　and　palms　upwards。　Now　they　hung　limply　over　his　knees。

〃Well？〃　she　said。

〃I　was　thinking　it　this　morning；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。

〃Yes？〃

〃Of　course　it's　silly。〃　〃Well？〃

〃It's　like　this。　I'm　twenty…three；　about。　I　had　my　schooling　all　right　to　fifteen；　say。　Well；　that　leaves　me　eight　years　behind。Is　it　too　late？　I　wasn't　so　backward。　I　did　algebra；　and　Latin　up　to　auxiliary　verbs；　and　French　genders。　I　got　a　kind　of　grounding。〃

〃And　now　you　mean；　should　you　go　on　working？〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。　〃That's　it。　You　can't　do　much　at　drapery　without　capital；　you　know。　But　if　I　could　get　really　educated。　I've　thought　sometimes。　。　。〃

〃Why　not？　said　the　Young　Lady　in　Grey。

Mr。　Hoopdriver　was　surprised　to　see　it　in　that　light。　〃You　think？〃　he　said。　〃Of　course。　You　are　a　Man。　You　are　free〃　She　warmed。　〃I　wish　I　were　you　to　have　the　chance　of　that　struggle。〃

〃Am　I　Man　ENOUGH？〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver　aloud；　but　addressing　himself。　〃There's　that　eight　years；〃　he　said　to　her。

〃You　can　make　it　up。　What　you　call　educated　menThey're　not　going　on。　You　can　catch　them。　They　are　quite　satisfied。　Playing　golf；　and　thinking　of　clever　things　to　say　to　women　like　my　stepmother；　and　dining　out。　You're　in　front　of　them　already　in　one　thing。　They　think　they　know　everything。　You　don't。　And　they　know　such　little　things。〃

〃Lord！〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。　〃How　you　encourage　a　fellow！〃　

〃If　I　could　only　help　you；〃　she　said；　and　left　an　eloquent　hiatus。　He　became　pensive　again。

〃It's　pretty　evident　you　don't　think　much　of　a　draper；〃　he　said　abruptly。

Another　interval。　〃Hundreds　of　men；〃　she　said；　〃have　come　from　the　very　lowest　ranks　of　life。　There　was　Burns；　a　ploughman；　and　Hugh　Miller；　a　stonemason；　and　plenty　of　others。　Dodsley　was　a　footman〃

〃But　drapers！　We're　too　sort　of　shabby　genteel　to　rise。　Our　coats　and　cuffs　might　get　crumpled〃

〃Wasn't　there　a　Clarke　who　wrote　theology？　He　was　a　draper。〃

〃There　was　one　started　a　sewing　cotton；　the　only　one　I　ever　heard　tell　of。〃

〃Have　you　ever　read　'Hearts　Insurgent'？〃

〃Never；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。　He　did　not　wait　for　her　context；　but　suddenly　broke　out　with　an　account　of　his　literary　requirements。　〃The　fact　isI've　read　precious　little。　One　don't　get　much　of　a　chance；　situated　as　I　am。　We　have　a　library　at　business；　and　I've　gone　through　that。　Most　Besant　I've　read；　and　a　lot　of　Mrs。　Braddon's　and　Rider　Haggard　and　Marie　Corelliand；　wella　Ouida　or　so。　They're　good　stories；　of　course；　and　first…class　writers；　but　they　didn't　seem　to　have　much　to　do　with　me。　But　there's　heaps　of　books　one　hears　talked　about；　I　HAVEN'T　read。〃　

〃Don't　yo